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Seriously Annoying Estate Agents

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Currently I have very littleof any interest to say apart from the fact that these estate agents are seriously p!ssing me off.

http://www.hendys.co.uk/residential_sales/.../100004529.html

This place was bought for £63k on the 18 April 2002. Nearly 100% mark up; and the stupid sales banter.

Come the glorious revolution "Hendys" will be the first for Madame La Guillotine.

Anyway you can now go back to talking about more important things. Just needed to get that off my chest.

Kropotkin

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Guest Bart of Darkness
This vendor bought it four years ago and has now got high ambitions of other things!

Or simply "got high"? (on MEW'd coke?)

I've seen these estate agents before. I suppose you could say, in their defense, that it's different to the standard EA banter.

I personally wouldn't go that far though!

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Currently I have very littleof any interest to say apart from the fact that these estate agents are seriously p!ssing me off.

http://www.hendys.co.uk/residential_sales/.../100004529.html

This place was bought for £63k on the 18 April 2002. Nearly 100% mark up; and the stupid sales banter.

Come the glorious revolution "Hendys" will be the first for Madame La Guillotine.

Anyway you can now go back to talking about more important things. Just needed to get that off my chest.

Kropotkin

Come, come! Surely some sort of warning would have been in order. I've just read that and involuntarily recycled an expensive Indian takeaway.

To whom can I send the bill?

I have never read a bigger load of drivel from an EA and I hope I never will again. The moron that wrote it is obviously in the wrong job.

On the edge.

Edited by Marina

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Are you sure steve is not 'pixiecathrine' at night?

They only time I heard lovey dovey ****** like that, was from pixie!

This makes her almost tolerable!!! Steve should be writing cards for weddings, birthdays etc. as it sounds like he's a LITTLE feminine!!!! ;)

Please dont make anyone else go through this - delete that link immediately - I feel violently ill!!! :o

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SITTING ROOM: 5.28m (17ft 4in) x 3.38m (11ft 1in)

A nice sized and well decorated light room! UPVC sealed unit double glazed window overlooking rear. Central heating radiator. Ceiling cornice. 'Marble' fireplace with timber surround and Coalridge living flame gas fire. Phone extension point. TV aerial point. Power points. Timber door leading into…

Anyone noticed how they describe houses as detailed as possible to make it sound "WORTH IT"?

I have seen Sooooo many houses marketed like this one -

It has a telephone point...... (wow! I can pllug in my BB)

It has Laminate flooring.... (cool can put my PC on the floor and free up desk space)

It has power points..... (omfg is this MY dream home or what?)

It has SKY TV....... (ooo oooohh ooooohhhh - I can post on HPC AND watch Lost at the same time!!!!)

How much dya want... come on how much??????

110,000??

I'll give you 130,000 if you leave all those extras behind.

KISS MY ASS!!!! WHAT A PILE OF SHYTE!!

Edited by teddyboy

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Sorry but... £110k for a one bedroom flat in LEEDS!!

Not being rude about Leeds, I like the city, but that's got to be insane.

check this out then Rose, same estate agents just down the rd in Chapel A. as Hendys call it

http://www.hendys.co.uk/residential_sales/.../100004514.html

3 last sales of identical houses on that row:

3, Ingle Row

Leeds

West Yorkshire

LS7 3PE

£108,000

20 Jun 2005

1, Ingle Row

LS7 3PE

£127,500

Terraced

17 Dec 2004

5, Ingle Row

£82,500

Terraced

04 Jul 2002

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Are you sure steve is not 'pixiecathrine' at night?

They only time I heard lovey dovey ****** like that, was from pixie!

This makes her almost tolerable!!! Steve should be writing cards for weddings, birthdays etc. as it sounds like he's a LITTLE feminine!!!!  ;)

Please dont make anyone else go through this - delete that link immediately - I feel violently ill!!! :o

Antidote...

http://www.framleyexaminer.co.uk/pages/framley028.html

:D

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Hendy's

This website is quality!!!! Forget www.digitallaughter.com just read these house descriptions. This post has got to be pinned - this is CLASSIC in its RAWEST FORM!!!!

Read em and weep......

ONE OF OUR MOST ASKED QUESTIONS

ANSWERED ABOUT THIS PROPERTY:

Q. Will they take less than the asking price?

A. People are currently making some silly offers lower than the asking price on some properties. The market has definitely "bottomed out" and this is on at a very realistic asking price!

Talking of questions we are asked, another is "Is it ex-council?" You'll forgive us, but what the hell difference does it make? Yes, this is and yes the spec the council used when building the Miles Hills was very high indeed. In recent weeks we've seen more interest generally and from first time buyers, in particular, in the Miles Hills than, probably any other micro-location in LS7. We've seen these houses grow and grow in desirability and value and by the way, where else within a mile of Casa Mia, can you find a comparable house for significantly less than £115,000?

______________________________________

ONE OF THE QUESTIONS WE MOST GET ASKED,

ANSWERED ABOUT THIS PROPERTY:

Q. How long has the property been on the market?

A. Several months now!

Yes, this is the second edition of our details regarding this property and we at Hendys (who have had countless years of experience in the property game) are in daily wonderment as to why this very nice property in Alwoodley has not sold. There are those paying tens of thousands of pounds more to be within staggering distance of a cocktail or a Greek kebab in Chapel Allerton, so please for the love of Zorba will someone realise that there is possibly, or certainly with some negotiation, a bargain to be had here! We know it would sell tomorrow at £99K, we know the asking price is £110K - somewhere in between?

______________________________________

An excellent template with which to work. Recently upgraded - you know the important things - central heating, double glazing and the kitchen isn't bad either. Yes you'll change some new but dated design carpets and the yellow bathroom suite. BUT, this is a fabulous plot of land offering bags of off street parking if you get the boys at Leeds City Council to lower the kerb of course!

______________________________________

Did you know that?...

The electric tram (as it was known) first ran down Harrogate Road and past Hendys office (the building was standing at the time) on August Bank Holiday 1901

It's actually very difficult to find something that's necessary to change at this address, that you can't change. Yes it needs central heating, yes it could do with a re-dec, yes you (or your tenants) might want to wonder about the long term future of the kitchen and bathroom BUT... and these you can't change... it's location opposite Gledhow Woods, it's proximity to both Chapel Allerton village centre - turn left-- or Tescos 24 hr store - turn right and it's exclusive entrance to the first floor. Now about letting it: We're not here to tell you what to do. But our lettings department achieves records month after month, interest rates are stable or falling and sellers are taking offers. On a scale of 10 how shrewd are you?

______________________________________

Dear Steve,

I'm after a new build flat with a budget of £135,000. I love Mansion Gate for example but would like a prettier location for the cats and my peace of mind.

Dear Reader,

Peace of mind is priceless and the Mansion Gate flats are well out of your price range. However Hillside Court might be very 'you'. Stunning lawns stretching down to Gledhow Woods, squirrels playing, birds and wildlife. The flats are big - plenty of storage, large rooms, huge windows and lots of light. A much quieter prettier location than the norm by far.

______________________________________

Dear Inspector,

I want a simple central Chapel Allerton flat. Must be quiet - I hate traffic noise and must have a guest bedroom. I don't want to have to decorate or fit kitchens and bathrooms when I move in. And I want all this for well under £140,000. Doesn't Want Much Mandy

Dear Mandy,

I might have just the thing for you're optimistic requirements. West Hill Avenue is a quiet pretty complex of flats and this first floor secure, newly decorated flat is lovely. A stunning kitchen with real wood work tops, double glazing and a short stroll to shops and bars makes this one of the best purpose built flats in Chapel Allerton. Stainbeck Lane flats will be too noisy for you.

______________________________________

Inspector says...!

Hey, this is a cool living space - very minimal with some fab exposed brickwork in the kitchen and bathroom. Decent sized rooms too - you can actually eat in the kitchen which is rare don't you think? You've gotta have some style, you've gotta have some class, you've gotta have some mortgagability and when you see it - you've gotta have this! Not for old giffs, oiks, muppets or rockers.

______________________________________

Q. What's the seller's position - would I get involved in a chain?

A. There is no chain involved this flat is ready to go!

Can we divulge a bit of confidential information? (wtf!) Hendys letting department has achieved record figures recently. People need to live somewhere and many are choosing to rent rather than buy. The moral of this? This flat (after it has been redecorated and perhaps upgraded slightly) will readily let to produce the desired results on a buy to let investment mortgage. Interest rates are coming down, sellers are accepting figures lower than the asking price. Be shrewd, get the right property at the right price with the right mortgage and sit on it. We'll gladly give you a quote to let and manage this flat and point you in the right direction for a tailor made mortgage.

______________________________________

Did you know that?...

The Nag's Head on Town Street originates from the middle of the 18th Century. 250 years later it still forms part of The Village's unique drinking scene!

We'll be frank? In the £120,000 to £140,000 price bracket in general and specifically within Hendys catchment area, it's a case of getting on the proverbial ladder. In your twenties you can look forward to promotion, pay rises, parents chipping in and inevitably, good chance and a bit of luck. Then you think of upgrading but with this to sell as a start off point. In the meantime? You'll enjoy living here. In particular the 22' x 10' living room. Way, way above average kitchen and for the kids, a good sized and secure garden to run off excess energy.

Go to http://www.hendys.co.uk/residential_sales/...tial_sales.html for more - This is a full nights entertainment - WELL DONE libitina

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ONE OF THE QUESTIONS WE MOST GET ASKED,

ANSWERED ABOUT THIS PROPERTY:

Q. How long has the property been on the market?

A. Several months now!

Yes, this is the second edition of our details regarding this property and we at Hendys (who have had countless years of experience in the property game) are in daily wonderment as to why this very nice property in Alwoodley has not sold.

Because it's overpriced in a crap area and I would't waste my time dealing with tossers like you.

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Talking of questions we are asked, another is "Is it ex-council?" You'll forgive us, but what the hell difference does it make? Yes, this is and yes the spec the council used when building the Miles Hills was very high indeed. In recent weeks we've seen more interest generally and from first time buyers, in particular, in the Miles Hills than, probably any other micro-location in LS7. We've seen these houses grow and grow in desirability and value and by the way, where else within a mile of Casa Mia, can you find a comparable house for significantly less than £115,000?

Miles Hill! Please!

I'll tell you this, in two years time I'll find places within a mile of Casa Mia for significantly less than half that. And I'd still rather live in a cat litter tray - same effect, less expense

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Sorry but... £110k for a one bedroom flat in LEEDS!!

Not being rude about Leeds, I like the city, but that's got to be insane.

I was on my way up to a meeting in Newcastle a few years ago and, as was my wont, I drove up during the night.

I hit Leeds about 3 in the morning, lost concentration, drifted off the motorway and found myself heading for what I guess was the city centre. I remember going quite a long way before finding a place to turn around.

What a dump. I thought I had drifted into the set of Clockwork Orange - the place looked like the aftermath of a war with loads of very unsavoury people around. Windows up, doors locked, don't stare at anyone, don't stop, get back on the motorway asap and drive like hell for the sanctuary of Newcastle. (I do like Geordies, particularly the women.)

Now, a few years later, the whole country is like that.

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I hit Leeds about 3 in the morning, lost concentration, drifted off the motorway and found myself heading for what I guess was the city centre. I remember going quite a long way before finding a place to turn around.

What a dump. I thought I had drifted into the set of Clockwork Orange - the place looked like the aftermath of a war with loads of very unsavoury people around. Windows up, doors locked, don't stare at anyone, don't stop, get back on the motorway asap and drive like hell

hey I didn't realise we met already... so it was you in that 4 wheeled metal horse thingy

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Teddyboy, reading through your post I honestly thought the whole thing had been made up by yourself. I was about to congratulate you on your wit when I realised the whole thing was not a spoof.

After clicking on the link I realised no one could have just made that up. Well done for spotting it.

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I want whoever writes that stuff for Hendy's to come and write about art for the magazine I work on - they're a bloody genius!

I only spotted one typo - regarding Bed 1, which was described as 'a cracking great room', when of course he/she must have meant to write 'a crack den'.

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I was on my way up to a meeting in Newcastle a few years ago and, as was my wont, I drove up during the night.

I hit Leeds about 3 in the morning, lost concentration, drifted off the motorway and found myself heading for what I guess was the city centre. I remember going quite a long way before finding a place to turn around.

What a dump. I thought I had drifted into the set of Clockwork Orange - the place looked like the aftermath of a war with loads of very unsavoury people around. Windows up, doors locked, don't stare at anyone, don't stop, get back on the motorway asap and drive like hell for the sanctuary of Newcastle. (I do like Geordies, particularly the women.)

Now, a few years later, the whole country is like that.

I'm amazed to see someone more cycnical than I thought I was :)

I spent some time in Liverpool recently, admittedly not the most grim areas of it, and remember thinking "it's not too bad, actually". How expectations change.

Have you ever driven down the high street in Wembley or Harrow - I've never been to Leeds so I can't compare, but they have to be contenders for the "Clockwork Orange" award.

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SITTING ROOM: 5.28m (17ft 4in) x 3.38m (11ft 1in)

A nice sized and well decorated light room! UPVC sealed unit double glazed window overlooking rear. Central heating radiator. Ceiling cornice. 'Marble' fireplace with timber surround and Coalridge living flame gas fire. Phone extension point. TV aerial point. Power points. Timber door leading into…

Anyone noticed how they describe houses as detailed as possible to make it sound "WORTH IT"?

I have seen Sooooo many houses marketed like this one - 

It has a telephone point...... (wow! I can pllug in my BB)

It has Laminate flooring.... (cool can put my PC on the floor and free up desk space)

It has power points..... (omfg is this MY dream home or what?)

It has SKY TV....... (ooo oooohh ooooohhhh - I can post on HPC AND watch Lost at the same time!!!!)

Have you ever bought any property. I tend to find detailed information is actually quite important in deciding whether to view or not.

I went on a viewing last weekend. 20 min drive there, took one look at exterior and precise location and dismissed the property immediately. Had the agents been more forthcoming then I wouldn't have wasted my time.

No doubt they think that to actually get a viewing is a result. To me a a prospective buyer it's just a frustrating waste of my time.

I think the Hendy's website is actually very good. You lot are talking about it and no doubt they are well known to potential buyers in Leeds through their slightly different approach.

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What starts off as a perfectly reasonably assault on "Hendys" seems to have turned into an attack on Leeds. Can we get back to slating the annoying T**ts. Please.

Actually I think slating houses and they way they are described by EAs is a perfectly reasonable method of focusing on the fact that houses are today massively overpriced.

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Perhaps when they referred to Bed 1 as a "cracking great room", the poor EAs were only trying to be honest about the building's massive subsidence problem. Otherwise I'm sure it would be on at £100K more at least.

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IgnorantSteve,

I cannot dismiss you opinion, you are entitled to it. The point I was making was the LEVEL of detail they go into lately. Pointing out things like "newly decorated", new carpets etc.

These to me are NOT deal-breakers to make me want to view the house. D/G, new Central Heating etc are. I think the phrase is "mutton dressed as lamb".

As far as Hendy's is concerned. Yes there is a different approach but first and foremost, getting yourself into £100,000-£200,000's worth of debt, is NOT a tongue in cheek decision.

I agree, I find it quite funny - the pathetric selling ploys they use, but If I was looking for a house that was marketed by Hendy's, and an estate agent starting talking that shyte to me - chances are, I would deck him! But that me.

My view is different to yours and I agree to disagree.

Edited by teddyboy

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Have you ever bought any property. I tend to find detailed information is actually quite important in deciding whether to view or not.

I went on a viewing last weekend. 20 min drive there, took one look at exterior and precise location and dismissed the property immediately. Had the agents been more forthcoming then I wouldn't have wasted my time.

No doubt they think that to actually get a viewing is a result. To me a a prospective buyer it's just a frustrating waste of my time.

I think the Hendy's website is actually very good. You lot are talking about it and no doubt they are well known to potential buyers in Leeds through their slightly different approach.

Curious that you share the same first name as the EA who wrote the sales banter - and you have praise for them.

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Hendy's way is to double bluff you in a tongue in cheek fashion, by saying we know the properties crap and overpriced, you know it's crap and overpriced heh heh so how's about buying it...and hope that you and them will be laughing all the way to contract signing...

foolish whoever buys these crap properties... :rolleyes:

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

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      • down 5% +
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