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swissy_fit

Best Time Of Year And Best Place For Thailand Holiday?

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Hoping to get a contribution from Mr P, of course, but there are other Thailand experts and amateurs on here....

I've only been there once, as a single man, liked it. Not that keen on the fabled huas, tried one for the sake of it but they all looked a bit pre-pubescent to me, however the food, "culcha", scenery, snorkeling and cheap fake goods were great.

Family holiday requirements different :

1. Preferably not the most expensive time.

2. Availability of cheap fake goods higher on agenda than it would be for me. (1 pesky wife and two adolescent girls)

3. What time of year is the best climate? (I guess that means coolest and driest, judging by Mr Ps posts)

4. Beaches, watersports and snorkeling for me, I expect I'll buy some tat as well.

5. A bit of culcha, temples and the like.

6. A good-quality, safe creche so that aforementioned pesky wife and I can go out a bit.

7. A few huas so I can show the family why Thailand has the reputation that it has....

.

At the moment the idea is a few days in Bangkok and a few more in the islands, in late March/early April.

Frankly I'm slightly horrified at the idea of going to Bangkok with a bunch of Brazilian women and a baby, they're a bit like herding cats at the best of times and are clueless as far as sense of direction is concerned so I'll end up navigating and trailing round stalls of f*cking fake Gucci handbags for days, I do NOT want this to happen as I will probably burst a blood vessel.

Basically, they're keen but I don't want to go, I think it's a rubbish idea with a toddler but if I can come up with a way of turning the part in Bangkok into something bearable I might be persuaded. Hiring a French-speaking guide to take them around Bangkok while I spend a few days with the best escort that Mr P can drum up is one possibility.

Anyone got any better ideas?

Comments about where to go/what to see?/best time?

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Go to Cambodia instead ? There is this place, which was absolutely lovely, no tat or prossies though, and took ages to get to......clicky

How much of the sticky stuff did you smoke ? That's in a different country... :)

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Guest Noodle

October/November.

I'll vacate this place and go stay in the other house if you want to spend a bit of time in the country. It's free. Real Thailand up here.

Liveinhope recently came up to stay.

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How much of the sticky stuff did you smoke ? That's in a different country... :)

Yeah I know. I just found Thailand a very different place when I went there last year. I was there in the mid 90s and it was a wonderful place, very chilled and easygoing. When I went last year it was far more edgy, money grabbing and tense, Cambodia on the other hand ,was lovely.

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Guest Noodle
1. Preferably not the most expensive time.

You can have this place. But it's way up country. Have a look on www.agoda.com for hotel deals.

2. Availability of cheap fake goods higher on agenda than it would be for me. (1 pesky wife and two adolescent girls)

Bangers.

3. What time of year is the best climate? (I guess that means coolest and driest, judging by Mr Ps posts)

October/November

4. Beaches, watersports and snorkeling for me, I expect I'll buy some tat as well.

Koh Chang, easy reach of Patters.

5. A bit of culcha, temples and the like.

It's all the bland sameness. Bangers does all that.

6. A good-quality, safe creche so that aforementioned pesky wife and I can go out a bit.

Leave the kids with my mother-in-law.

7. A few huas so I can show the family why Thailand has the reputation that it has....

One day and one night in Patters

Frankly I'm slightly horrified at the idea of going to Bangkok with a bunch of Brazilian women and a baby, they're a bit like herding cats at the best of times and are clueless as far as sense of direction is concerned so I'll end up navigating and trailing round stalls of f*cking fake Gucci handbags for days, I do NOT want this to happen as I will probably burst a blood vessel.

Try the Japanese area in Patpong 1, the women should fetch a good price.

Basically, they're keen but I don't want to go, I think it's a rubbish idea with a toddler but if I can come up with a way of turning the part in Bangkok into something bearable I might be persuaded. Hiring a French-speaking guide to take them around Bangkok while I spend a few days with the best escort that Mr P can drum up is one possibility.

I'll come down and we'll get drunk in Nana.

Uber fitty sister-in-law speaks fluent French, she lived there for 10 years.

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Guest Noodle

Go to Cambodia instead ? There is this place, which was absolutely lovely, no tat or prossies though, and took ages to get to......clicky

I found Cambodia dire last time I was there. G.Glitters everywhere. Nauseating.

That resort looks good and the prices aren't bad either.

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Yeah I know. I just found Thailand a very different place when I went there last year. I was there in the mid 90s and it was a wonderful place, very chilled and easygoing. When I went last year it was far more edgy, money grabbing and tense, Cambodia on the other hand ,was lovely.

No I meant the link is for a place in Thailand not Cambodia !

I like all those places too - Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos. Just a wee bit rougher around the edges.

Not been to Thailand for a while though.

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No I meant the link is for a place in Thailand not Cambodia !

I like all those places too - Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos. Just a wee bit rougher around the edges.

Not been to Thailand for a while though.

Ah, yes I was giving an alternative and also sticking to the thrust of the question. @Noodle, yes that resort is really lovely and reasonably priced, but as I said, very difficult to get to. 2 hour boat ride following 5 hour taxi ride.

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I like Thailand been quite a few times, I think my favourite was around Chiang Mai and we were in the jungles up near the northern border for a while. I had my honeymoon in Phuket which was lovely jubbly. Never been to Patters, though I thought Patong was a right dive and Koh Samui was full of chavs and other assorted twattery.

Did Vietnam and Cambodia, I loved the latter and Angkor Wat is up there with one of the most incredible things I have ever seen, I wouldn't go back to Vietnam in a hurry though. I don't think I have ever got over the little girl on the street who wanted to sell me some chewing gum. I said no and she then latched on to my balls with an excruciating, vice-like grip and asked me once again if I wanted to buy some chewing gum.

I bought the box.

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Ah, yes I was giving an alternative and also sticking to the thrust of the question. @Noodle, yes that resort is really lovely and reasonably priced, but as I said, very difficult to get to. 2 hour boat ride following 5 hour taxi ride.

It is, it's down Ranong/Phuket way.

I chose Koh Chang due to it's proximity to Bangers. Trying to keep it all on the Sukhumvit Road (basically the entire eastern seaboard). Koh Samet needs a good clean and frankly it's awful now. Okay for a day or two I guess.

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I like Thailand been quite a few times, I think my favourite was around Chiang Mai and we were in the jungles up near the northern border for a while. I had my honeymoon in Phuket which was lovely jubbly. Never been to Patters, though I thought Patong was a right dive and Koh Samui was full of chavs and other assorted twattery.

Did Vietnam and Cambodia, I loved the latter and Angkor Wat is up there with one of the most incredible things I have ever seen, I wouldn't go back to Vietnam in a hurry though. I don't think I have ever got over the little girl on the street who wanted to sell me some chewing gum. I said no and she then latched on to my balls with an excruciating, vice-like grip and asked me once again if I wanted to buy some chewing gum.

I bought the box.

Patters is Patong on crystal meth.

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Koh Samet needs a good clean and frankly it's awful now. Okay for a day or two I guess.

Has it gone downhill ? Was there about 5 years ago and was cracking. Only 2 hours away from Bangkok and a great wee place.

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Has it gone downhill ? Was there about 5 years ago and was cracking. Only 2 hours away from Bangkok and a great wee place.

I used to live there. It's okay, but it's scruffy now. Thai friends up here drive down to Trat and go to Koh Chang instead, avoid Samet like the plague.

I guess Samet Villa resort would be okay, I know the Swiss owner Joseph well (he's an uptight kunt). Then they have Silver Sands beach bar and disco thing and . . . oh I hate the place, was there too long and everyone knows me and bangs on about all manner of crap, get stopped by every other Thai and spend half an hour having to repeat the same old about how the kids are and how's Ning and all this BS, it's dull. Then I end up staying with my best mate here that owns a restaurant, which means I never leave and sit in the same place watching BBC News and reading the BKK Post . . . then a whole litany of woe from Katria about how they've no money . . . and ohhhh!!!!

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I used to live there. It's okay, but it's scruffy now. Thai friends up here drive down to Trat and go to Koh Chang instead, avoid Samet like the plague.

I guess Samet Villa resort would be okay, I know the Swiss owner Joseph well (he's an uptight kunt). Then they have Silver Sands beach bar and disco thing and . . . oh I hate the place, was there too long and everyone knows me and bangs on about all manner of crap, get stopped by every other Thai and spend half an hour having to repeat the same old about how the kids are and how's Ning and all this BS, it's dull. Then I end up staying with my best mate here that owns a restaurant, which means I never leave and sit in the same place watching BBC News and reading the BKK Post . . . then a whole litany of woe from Katria about how they've no money . . . and ohhhh!!!!

Sounds like it could still be ok for a holiday though. Wee village mentality seems the same the World over.

Like Boness but with Palm trees.

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Sounds like it could still be ok for a holiday though. Wee village mentality seems the same the World over.

Like Boness but with Palm trees.

Nasty attitude there now towards tourists, many have noticed. It's not fun like it once was. It's also the most expensive island, even reported on Thai TV about how dirty it was and all the rip offs there. Thai government not impressed.

Avoid.

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Bangers.

October/November

Koh Chang, easy reach of Patters.

It's all the bland sameness. Bangers does all that.

Leave the kids with my mother-in-law.

One day and one night in Patters

Try the Japanese area in Patpong 1, the women should fetch a good price.

I'll come down and we'll get drunk in Nana.

Uber fitty sister-in-law speaks fluent French, she lived there for 10 years.

Thanks very much, a really generous offer, will pm you when have worked out if we're coming. (am still against holidays like this with a toddler so may put my foot down).

Am particularly taken by the idea of getting drunk with you while your sister in law takes them to stuff that I hate! (shops and fake goods stalls) as long as you promise to keep me away from ladyboys and vice-versa.(am not yet free of that thing we all carry!)

Some good info on the islands as well, will take a look on the web.

Thought you were heading back to the UK soon?

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Thanks very much, a really generous offer, will pm you when have worked out if we're coming. (am still against holidays like this with a toddler so may put my foot down).

Am particularly taken by the idea of getting drunk with you while your sister in law takes them to stuff that I hate! (shops and fake goods stalls) as long as you promise to keep me away from ladyboys and vice-versa.(am not yet free of that thing we all carry!)

Some good info on the islands as well, will take a look on the web.

Thought you were heading back to the UK soon?

Only if work comes in. Which it won't.

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Frankly I'm slightly horrified at the idea of going to Bangkok with a bunch of Brazilian women and a baby, they're a bit like herding cats at the best of times and are clueless as far as sense of direction is concerned so I'll end up navigating and trailing round stalls of f*cking fake Gucci handbags for days, I do NOT want this to happen as I will probably burst a blood vessel.

:lol::lol: I've never heard that phrase before.. but how perfectly apt!

Can't offer advice on Thailand, but have a cat herding video..

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  • 150 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

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