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Being a romantic soul, as I get older (35) I daydream more and more about maybe getting married and creating a kid or two... No specific plans, but my latest girlfriend is rather nice...

Being not that romantic, I'd dearly like to keep a goodly proportion of my worldly wealth out of the hands of any potential other half if we were to marry and later divorce.

(Worldly wealth = £200-250k in liquid assets, no illiquid assets. Other things being equal I'd plan to buy a home outright in the next few years.)

Anyone know if such a trick - protecting a relatively small pot of assets* - can be pulled off? I'm going to talk to a lawyer in the next few weeks, but any info I can get beforehand might save lawyers fees.

*Small compared to the millionaires who usually face such problems.

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Stay single, if you have kids as a bloke it is important to get parental responsibility......true love stays with you forever, married or not. ;)

Ok, interesting. Can you tell me any more about parental responsibility?

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Being a romantic soul, as I get older (35) I daydream more and more about maybe getting married and creating a kid or two... No specific plans, but my latest girlfriend is rather nice...

Being not that romantic, I'd dearly like to keep a goodly proportion of my worldly wealth out of the hands of any potential other half if we were to marry and later divorce.

(Worldly wealth = £200-250k in liquid assets, no illiquid assets. Other things being equal I'd plan to buy a home outright in the next few years.)

Anyone know if such a trick - protecting a relatively small pot of assets* - can be pulled off? I'm going to talk to a lawyer in the next few weeks, but any info I can get beforehand might save lawyers fees.

*Small compared to the millionaires who usually face such problems.

I think that any advice given by a lawyer will be worth 1,000x anything that the "experts" on this forum can come up with :)

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I think that any advice given by a lawyer will be worth 1,000x anything that the "experts" on this forum can come up with :)

That's a bit cynical. Although it's true to say that you should take so called "expert" advice on internet forums with a pinch of salt, some of the suggestions can be useful and can help point you in the right direction. You can always check them out further yourself. They can help you be better prepared for when you do meet with your legal advice, which means that you use up less time and it costs less money.

Also someone on here might have been through the whole process before, which might be a great help. The better prepared you are before you take legal advice, the more you will get from the advice.

I agree there is a lot of crap posted on this forum (some serial offenders but let's not mention any names), but there is useful stuff as well. No different from the internet and life in general really.

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Being not that romantic,..

Which was fairly obvious one sentence earlier!

Anyway, to the point. Pre-nuptual agreements are not legal in this country. I think I read somewhere that the Law Society (or something similar) was looking at proposals to make them enforcible. However, I think they are likely to be expensive and not really worth it unless you have a lot of money to protect.

Best way is just to not tell her you have it and hide it. Buy gold or guns or something with it as both are good stores of wealth and are reasonably easy to shift on.

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What you need is asset protection strategy.

The best thing is to secretly wittle away some funds into an offshore trust that she doesn't know about. This is what I plan to do when I have money and a wife. Neither right now! :D It's all legal and above board.

The point of the trust is that the assets don't legally belong to you, but you are entitled to them, something like that.

Try looking (and asking if necessary) here:

http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/forum/trusts-and-estates-f12.html

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Also someone on here might have been through the whole process before, which might be a great help. The better prepared you are before you take legal advice, the more you will get from the advice.

My thoughts exactly.

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Reckon you'd be better off putting your energies into finding the right woman and being honest with each other about how you would like to live your future. Looks fade, values are what matter. Make sure you have shared beliefs about child raising and education before kids happen so you don't end up arguing about how little Johnny should be brought up. Talk about the reality of what happens when a woman gives up work to have babies, both financially and what it does to her world view and view of herself, talk about the reality of the strain of being working parents if you are both working. Make sure you are prepared to feel neglected when your babies are small. Don't watch porn when she is pregnant/feeling fat post birth, it will build resentment in her that will lead to less sex when she starts to feel better and delay her building up her confidence. Lost count of the amount of blokes I've known who end up in an affair when babies appear. If you do end up in a sorry divorce, you are likely to want said children to be able to live well at their Mum's and their Dad's so it will all be bloody expensive and if you hide money away from your kids, that makes you a crap Dad who shouldn't have bothered in the first place. The women I've seen who have affairs seem to be mostly those who feel neglected. There are some shallow women who look to be spoilt and provided for but it's not the majority by any means in my circles at least - just make sure you don't start with one of those.

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Reckon you'd be better off putting your energies into finding the right woman and being honest with each other about how you would like to live your future. Looks fade, values are what matter. Make sure you have shared beliefs about child raising and education before kids happen so you don't end up arguing about how little Johnny should be brought up. Talk about the reality of what happens when a woman gives up work to have babies, both financially and what it does to her world view and view of herself, talk about the reality of the strain of being working parents if you are both working. Make sure you are prepared to feel neglected when your babies are small. Don't watch porn when she is pregnant/feeling fat post birth, it will build resentment in her that will lead to less sex when she starts to feel better and delay her building up her confidence. Lost count of the amount of blokes I've known who end up in an affair when babies appear. If you do end up in a sorry divorce, you are likely to want said children to be able to live well at their Mum's and their Dad's so it will all be bloody expensive and if you hide money away from your kids, that makes you a crap Dad who shouldn't have bothered in the first place. The women I've seen who have affairs seem to be mostly those who feel neglected. There are some shallow women who look to be spoilt and provided for but it's not the majority by any means in my circles at least - just make sure you don't start with one of those.

Agreed.

A man who conceals wealth to facilitate a quick and easy exit later, guarantees that his wife has made the exact same mistake that he fears for himself: he has made her marry a liar.

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Guest Steve Cook

Being a romantic soul, as I get older (35) I daydream more and more about maybe getting married and creating a kid or two... No specific plans, but my latest girlfriend is rather nice...

Being not that romantic, I'd dearly like to keep a goodly proportion of my worldly wealth out of the hands of any potential other half if we were to marry and later divorce.

(Worldly wealth = £200-250k in liquid assets, no illiquid assets. Other things being equal I'd plan to buy a home outright in the next few years.)

Anyone know if such a trick - protecting a relatively small pot of assets* - can be pulled off? I'm going to talk to a lawyer in the next few weeks, but any info I can get beforehand might save lawyers fees.

*Small compared to the millionaires who usually face such problems.

Speaking personally, I wouldn't recommend marrying anyone whose intentions, right from the off, you were sufficiently suspicious about to want to make exit strategy plans about before you had even tied the knot.

Either that, or your own risk-aversement level need recalibrating

Life's journey is risky and sometimes there's no safety net you can put in place without destroying your capacity to enjoy the ride.

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Which was fairly obvious one sentence earlier!

Anyway, to the point. Pre-nuptual agreements are not legal in this country. I think I read somewhere that the Law Society (or something similar) was looking at proposals to make them enforcible. However, I think they are likely to be expensive and not really worth it unless you have a lot of money to protect.

Best way is just to not tell her you have it and hide it. Buy gold or guns or something with it as both are good stores of wealth and are reasonably easy to shift on.

Indeed. However I have read a fair few stories about them. They may as well be Legal. They are used as an indication rather than any legality - as you say. So if there is nothing else then the judge most often just goes with what was in it. It is an agreement. Whether it is technically legal or not makes little difference IMO.

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Guest KingCharles1st

People change- people's situations change, and you have to decide if you want to take life lying down- or not.

If you are in any way concerned about the way the future will pan out- then make sure you can outsmart the opposition.

Tip- the opposition is SMART

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be a miser, when you meet a girl dont buy drinks, and profess to your povity. 95% of the girls will loose interest, you will be much less likely to meet somone, but on the plus side you will have filtered out most of the gold diggers. Set the bar high ;p

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be a miser, when you meet a girl dont buy drinks, and profess to your povity. 95% of the girls will loose interest, you will be much less likely to meet somone, but on the plus side you will have filtered out most of the gold diggers. Set the bar high ;p

Sorry, but what is wrong with a girl buying the drinks.....we can look after ourselves you know....and pay our way, even though we have babies....not all women need a fellas money to live ;)

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I'm by no means a gold digger. I'm more than happy to pay my fair share, although I will let a guy pay if he wants to do something that I can't afford (like go out to restaurants when I was a poor student) or if he insists on paying. On the whole though, I'd prefer to just do something that I can afford. Saying all that, I'd be reluctant to go out with a guy who was broke because I'd be worried that I'd end up paying for him all the time. That and a lot of guys wouldn't let a woman pay for them even for the occasional thing so there's the danger of not doing anything together other than sit at home watching Top Gear on Dave and drinking Asda Smartprice lager. So yes, with that tactic you'll filter out all of the gold diggers, but you'll also filter out a lot of genuine women who don't want to be used for their money and would actually like to be able to go out and do things with their partner.

Agree with you there mmm...beer....a relationship is a partnership, play the game on a level playing field, not going for someone with more or less than you, better to be equal and equally resourceful. ;)

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The way that seriously rich people handle this is by having a trust hold the money, you then buy large houses/land/businesses and place them in the trust.

If you get divorced she can still take you for everything you own directly, but won't be able to touch the trust.

I thknk you need to be worth a few million before the legal & admin fees make it worth while.

For example Prince Charles has the Duchy of Cornwall, which is why the divorce settlement for Di was less than one year of his income (25 Million) instead of the umpteen billion that the trust is worth.

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Yup - definitely best if you both make about the same amount. The next best chance of a successful relationship is if it's the man that makes more because the reverse tends to make a man feel emasculated which is never a good thing.

...depends on the man...but I would say most women would prefer a man to make more than them and would be contented to be a stay at home wife.....the problem is if they have not built up their own skills and career beforehand they will feel vulnerable and will have nothing to fall back on if all goes wrong or once the kids have flown the nest.....we all need a purpose after all and it is best for us all to be together and stable but also individually independent, makes for a better balanced relationship. ;)

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Being a romantic soul, as I get older (35) I daydream more and more about maybe getting married and creating a kid or two... No specific plans, but my latest girlfriend is rather nice...

Being not that romantic, I'd dearly like to keep a goodly proportion of my worldly wealth out of the hands of any potential other half if we were to marry and later divorce.

(Worldly wealth = £200-250k in liquid assets, no illiquid assets. Other things being equal I'd plan to buy a home outright in the next few years.)

Anyone know if such a trick - protecting a relatively small pot of assets* - can be pulled off? I'm going to talk to a lawyer in the next few weeks, but any info I can get beforehand might save lawyers fees.

*Small compared to the millionaires who usually face such problems.

When you are younger you usually think with the heart. When you are older you must use your head. Old age isn't much fun if you have little money.

If money is your concern at least find someone your equal in terms of money. Even though sisters are doing it for themselves these days, not many will match you financially in my experience.

Only gamble with money you can afford to lose.

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Keep it simple, get married and make sure you stay married

Unless she spends all your cash in the meantime, which is a possibility...... ;)

Mind you given your outlook on your wealth being your own, don't get married at all, its a partnership and unless you go in on an equal footing (and I'm not taking financial) you will be doomed to fail

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A man who conceals wealth to facilitate a quick and easy exit later, guarantees that his wife has made the exact same mistake that he fears for himself: he has made her marry a liar.

I thought the OP was trying to avoid being taken to the cleaners in any future separation? The speed and ease of the split were not mentioned.

we can look after ourselves you know....and pay our way, even though we have babies....not all women need a fellas money to live

If only the divorce courts thought the same way.

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Mind you given your outlook on your wealth being your own, don't get married at all, its a partnership

Sound advice.

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  • 152 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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