Are You 'secretly Poor' Too?

[Potwalloper]

(schadenfreude)

What are the brackets for?

[maxD]

What are the brackets for?

Showing your intent Actually more like smugness.

[Menie]

My wife aleted me to this thread on Musnet which makes grim reading. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1001477-Are-you-39-secretly-poor-39-too?pg=1

Its full of Mumsneters confessing that despite their DH earning a decent wage they can't make ends meet because the cost of their lifestyle is overwhelming them.

Take the OP for example.

well that sad...but there are plenty of morons wanted to play posh and fashion victims without to have a clue of what is really money..Now they will just see what their stupidity bring to them.. Got plenty people around me like that. That's not rocket science, no matter what u have live with what u earn, and save at the same time. if u can't then it's u are spending too much!

[Menie]

This is quite correct! My ex shacked up with a 'new dad'...someone she knew before my kid was born. He'd always fancied her but she always told him to feck orf! Then when we split up the next thing I know is that they are together? He has some cash behind him and when me and the ex were together I always thought of him as a loud mouthed tw*t who just couldn't score no matter how hard he tried.

I remember the ex telling me that they were an item during a contact session with my kid. I said to her "but last year at your mate's party you told me that he gave you the creeps and was a fat tw*t?"...to which I was told "no I didn't...he's kind and caring and looks after us".

Since that time, this guy has worked with my ex to boot me out of my kids life and they have had some considerable success. However, the net is closing in on them and soon they'll be a knock on the door from a couple of guys who will serve them some rather important family court documents!

So why did we split? Cos I refused to take out a mortgage for an overpriced shit heap of a house! Simple as really! The ex was obsessed with houses because "all my mates have a house"...since then about 3 of them of had the 'propertys' repo'd...the others are deffo on the breadline! Fecking idiots! And all public sector workers too!

well i guess u have nothing to regret! Just enjoy and see them flooding in debt.. and then take back ur kids!

[Potwalloper]

Showing your intent Actually more like smugness.

I really don't understand your banter, old chap.

[Giordano Bruno]

Some of these threads make me really glad to be single and unsociable.

Me too. I look back with dread at the few times I came close to not being single.

[Guest Steve Cook]

Me too. I look back with dread at the few times I came close to not being single.

You're going to have a lovely time when you're old and grey counting all of the money you didn't have to share with anyone.

[Cinzano Bianco]

It amazing how many of the posters are stay at home mums (SAHM in mumsnet parlance). They are sinking in the debt quicksands from their profligate lifestyle but can't bring themselves to get a job to help out their poor husband as the kids will suffer.

Nothing wrong with SAHMs, especially given the cost of childcare. My missus is on a good salary, but with travel and so on, a full time job would mean to go to work full time would barely be worth the bother, since you have to pay wages out of your taxed income.

Besides, the fact that 2 parents *have* to work to pay for a shitty new build box to live in IMO is a significant part of the problem with this country. My only hope is I can afford for my other half to stay at home when we have kids... until they go to school ofcourse... Then she can get a job to fit those circumstances as she wishes .

[VeryMeanReversion]

Its full of Mumsneters confessing that despite their DH earning a decent wage they can't make ends meet because the cost of their lifestyle is overwhelming them.

In the days of endless credit there has been no feedback in the system to say "you can't have it, earn it first". The lenders have allowed borrowers to use up every last scrap of equity they have (and more in the event of falling house prices).

Unfortunately for many, they will be too old to start from 0 and recover their peak standard of living.

I'm patiently waiting for forced sellers.

VMR.

[campervanman]

You can shine your shoes and wear a suit

You can comb your hair and look quite cute

You can hide your face behind a smile........

You can wear a mask and paint your face

You can call yourself the human race

You can wear a collar and a tie

One thing you can't hide

I when you're crippled inside

UK = nation of cripples

[Guest Steve Cook]

It's good to see you're broken

But I'm not glad you're hurt

I'm just glad you're back

And that your bubble burst

The dreams that you were chasing

Have left you in the dirt

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That you have joined the poor

You'll have to meet your neighbours

And find out what you're worth

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

You've only heard the sermons

Of how much money you are worth

Now you'll have to listen

To the rythms of the earth

There's a brand new order coming

And you will not be first

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That you have joined the poor

There's a brand new order coming

And you will not be first

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

Our blessings don't come easy

That is just our curse

With our foot hard to the pedal

We are in reverse

We'll make more friends out walking

Than driving in that hearse

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That everyone's the poor

You'll have to meet your neighbours

And find out what you're worth

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

[funinhounslow]

>>I would expect that a lot of people on here are "secretly rich" as they have set aside the cash or deposit to buy a house and are waiting until they think the price is right, in the meantime that money is invested rather than spent on consumables. <<

Reminds me of that American book "the Millionaire Next Door" where the author says that the richest in society are likely to be those with an average house and modest car. These people will be debt and mortgage free, with some savings behind them as opposed to those who have all the latest toys on credit. I think we're about go find out how right he is.

[Mikhail Liebenstein]

I recognise the consumerist tendencies in a number of people I know.  One, who is in considerably more straightened circumstances than before was bemoaning the fact that she had to drive a 54 plate car - never mind that it cost about £40K in 2004....   She really didn't like me pointing out that my car was a B reg, and that if I wanted a 10 plate Porsche, I'd just go down to the dealer and buy one.  

A lot of this stuff is ********, look how poor we are in our 54 plate BMW - most of them could sell the car and but a £500 banger, but they won't.  Yes, some have it on lease, but most don't.

I changed my 08 number plate to an 04.

[crouch]

These stories are fascinating, and I suspect there are more people in this camp that many would imagine.

Interestingly I expect many HPCers might do it the other way around. Actually I do have to confess to a certain amount of shabby sheak. , I am the sort of guy who buys a reasonably expensive  car for cash and then sticks a four year old number plate on it so as to stop people scratching it. I also avoid washing the car too much, as whilst it might be nice to look at a shiny motor,  it attracts attention- and  from a resale perspective, cleaning cars tends to put fine scratches on the paint, so in my book its better to not to clean are car more than 2-3 times a year. 

I'm with you, I only clean my car two or three times a year but that's because I'm lazy; thanks for giving me a good reason for being lazy!

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

Nothing wrong with SAHMs, especially given the cost of childcare. My missus is on a good salary, but with travel and so on, a full time job would mean to go to work full time would barely be worth the bother, since you have to pay wages out of your taxed income.

Besides, the fact that 2 parents *have* to work to pay for a shitty new build box to live in IMO is a significant part of the problem with this country. My only hope is I can afford for my other half to stay at home when we have kids... until they go to school ofcourse... Then she can get a job to fit those circumstances as she wishes .

In the year before she had a baby, my wife grossed around £27K. Afterwards, after finding a nursery she would have been happy leaving a our son in several days a week, she would have taken home less than £600 a month after tax, nursery fees and work costs and a lot of other hassle.

So not worth it. She now works 3,4 or 5 days a month for for £200-300, no tax and gets to enjoy her role as a full-time mum rather than a "worker" for not much less money. Nowadays we don't even think of it as a sacrifice. Also means she spent 5 weeks in Australia over our winter and is in Europe for 9 weeks every summer. All because we're renting

Renting is shit, isn't it?

[SarahBell]

'............we had a bad leak recently so reluctantly got a plumber in, so far we've only paid him back two thirds of what we owe and he's really not happy'.

Really? I can't imagine why?? Surely his mortgagee accepted 2/3's payment that month and the supermarket also accepted 2/3's payment that month. I've got family & friends on the tools and this isn't a joke when it happens, especially for me who usually ends up lending (giving) 'em money to tide them over :angry:

But why not? They've not paid theirs for 6 months!

It's insane and I think people will need serious drugs to get through the misery caused by shopping addiction.

[ad9898]

It's good to see you're broken

But I'm not glad you're hurt

I'm just glad you're back

And that your bubble burst

The dreams that you were chasing

Have left you in the dirt

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That you have joined the poor

You'll have to meet your neighbours

And find out what you're worth

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

You've only heard the sermons

Of how much money you are worth

Now you'll have to listen

To the rythms of the earth

There's a brand new order coming

And you will not be first

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That you have joined the poor

There's a brand new order coming

And you will not be first

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

Our blessings don't come easy

That is just our curse

With our foot hard to the pedal

We are in reverse

We'll make more friends out walking

Than driving in that hearse

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

And all the easy money

Is flying out the door

It's back to basics now

That everyone's the poor

You'll have to meet your neighbours

And find out what you're worth

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

Things are getting better

Now that things are getting worse

Is that a song Steve ? if so what's the title and who is it by ?

[Guest Steve Cook]

Is that a song Steve ? if so what's the title and who is it by ?

[needsleep]

This forum is like reading the daily mail sometimes. The predictable replies, the smugness of the posters, the cynicism, schadenfreude,the frustration of people who think they deserve a house and so on.

Hmmmm, I'm not sure it's smugness on my part. My overriding concern is for the future of my kids. I don't see that the kudos of owning lots of useless items and living in a big house is worth risking their future. It's not smugness on my part just a sense of feeling happy with how I handled my family finances and a growing sense of disbelief at how other people have handled theirs.

[ad9898]

Thanks, very interesting lyrical content.

[Concrete Jungle]

Welcome to the miracle economy.

[Blue Nose Bear]

My wife aleted me to this thread on Musnet which makes grim reading. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1001477-Are-you-39-secretly-poor-39-too?pg=1

Its full of Mumsneters confessing that despite their DH earning a decent wage they can't make ends meet because the cost of their lifestyle is overwhelming them.

Take the OP for example.

Clues are all there:

"DH is self employed but in a professional career." That'll be a Liar Loan then.

"The bank have a charge on all the equity in our house." MEWed to the hilt.

"We're just about keeping on top of paying all the other bills and the two loans we have"

" We're both university educated"

[Guest Steve Cook]

Clues are all there:

"DH is self employed but in a professional career." That'll be a Liar Loan then.

"The bank have a charge on all the equity in our house." MEWed to the hilt.

"We're just about keeping on top of paying all the other bills and the two loans we have"

" We're both university educated"

It's nice to see the puppets blaming other instead of the one's pulling the strings. Some things never change.

When it comes to managing the minds of the minions, the old strategies are the best

It's the immigrants

It's the blacks

It's the chavs

It's the greedy old

It's the feckless young

It's the single mothers

It's the (insert your scapegoat of choice here)

It's depressingly familiar.......

[Nickolarge]

Not the bloody "worldwide financial crash" BS again Labour brought the worldwide financial services industry to the UK with incentives and let them destroy the worldwide finances. Not only are they responsible for ******ing up this economy they are responsible for creating the worldwide financial crisis you hold up as their excuse. You can't say the tories/labour/libdem centre/left/right whatever is relevant. The point is any party of any persuasion could have foreseen what we all foresaw and taken steps to avoid or lessen the damage but labour were in charge and they did worse than nothing. So stupid are they that they now try to confuse the public by espousing the same policies that ******ed us in the first place. Ed Byrne just to say i've never face palmed so hard in my life. What a dick.

So Britain was not one of the most prominent financial centres of the world before Labour got in. All those banking shysters arrived after 1997.

Blame Labour for not changing the rules. I do. Don't blame them for the rules that were in force before they got in. How much noise did the Tories make before the SHTF? I recall Vince Cable being touted on here as some kind of oracle but he only spoke up from a position of thinking that he would never have to deal with it himself. Doesn't look so great now he actually does.

[spyguy]

You wait til you have kids ....

You get hordes of the these stupid bints driving there 4x4 in a way that makes Mr Magoo look good.

4x4 for her. Car for him. Big mortgage. Couple of holidays.

Kids member of this + that. (Good I sound like my mum).

Card to pick up the slack.

And then ....

Avon catalogues.

Osbourne books francises (I canbuy them cheaer on Amazon).

Making jewery from beads - we even have a shop that sells beads - f*king nuts.

As if some dopey woman is going to be cheaper than the 34d world at this sort of stuff.

And then, the current 'Well if it all goes wrong I can . . . .

Baking cupcakes - for f*sake!

I hate cupcakes.

What get's me there always some poor pressed hubby (Nad-less thought) behind all this.

And the women is hardly a looker - the majority look like fat blokes with t*ts.

Oh and in summer they all wear those big baggy lesbian african adventurer shorts.

Still, i guess the hubby will run off with the aupair.

Don't get me started on Bodum - c*nts.