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Guest theboltonfury

Personal Injury Adverts - Idiots

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Guest theboltonfury

If I was a professional roofer, I'd know about ladders. I reckon so.

If someone gave me the wrong sort (i.e. dangerous) of ladder, I'd just refuse to use it. I certainly wouldn't continue, crush my hand, dislocate my shoulder, even if I could get compo. if he's that stupid, why is allowed near rooves?

Same as the stupid bint who tripped on the plastic strapping. Look where you are going you daft cow.

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Guest X-QUORK

Rumour has it the next one in the series features an airline pilot who's handed a 747 instead of a 737.

That's gonna cost.

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If I was a professional roofer, I'd know about ladders. I reckon so.

If someone gave me the wrong sort (i.e. dangerous) of ladder, I'd just refuse to use it. I certainly wouldn't continue, crush my hand, dislocate my shoulder, even if I could get compo. if he's that stupid, why is allowed near rooves?

Same as the stupid bint who tripped on the plastic strapping. Look where you are going you daft cow.

Ah, but would you intentionally pour a bucket of hot tar over yourself?

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If I was a professional roofer, I'd know about ladders. I reckon so.

If someone gave me the wrong sort (i.e. dangerous) of ladder, I'd just refuse to use it. I certainly wouldn't continue, crush my hand, dislocate my shoulder, even if I could get compo. if he's that stupid, why is allowed near rooves?

Same as the stupid bint who tripped on the plastic strapping. Look where you are going you daft cow.

Glad it isn't just me. They make my B.P. soar. Perhaps I should sue them.:ph34r: As to the wrong tyupe of ladder, hasn't he got a gob -? Couldn't he have said something like: "I say, old chap. Could you furnish me with the right sort of ladder for this job, please":)

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Guest theboltonfury

Ah, but would you intentionally pour a bucket of hot tar over yourself?

If it got me an appearance on Jeremy Kyle, then yes, I think I would.

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Viz has it right

Clown Claims Direct - hit over the head with a balloon on a stick? Had a bucket of glitter thrown over your head? Car doors fallen off? Given the wrong size of hoopy pants for pratfalls?

Then WE can help YOU!

Clown claims direct has been helping idiot clowns bankrupt once healthy circuses for 25 years, call today to lose all chance of future employent in exchange for enough money to go to magaluf this summer!

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Somebody didn't complete their site safety induction, and is using his friend's CSCS card.

"Oh look! The WRONG sort of ladder! I had better climb to the top then!" :blink:

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Guest theboltonfury

Somebody didn't complete their site safety induction, and is using his friend's CSCS card.

"Oh look! The WRONG sort of ladder! I had better climb to the top then!" :blink:

If I handed a woodworker a fret saw when he was wishing to cut up some sturdy timber, he'd call me a **** and probably nut me.

Why didn't the guy with the ladder have the courage of his convictions and do the same to his colleague?

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If I was a professional roofer, I'd know about ladders. I reckon so.

If someone gave me the wrong sort (i.e. dangerous) of ladder, I'd just refuse to use it. I certainly wouldn't continue, crush my hand, dislocate my shoulder, even if I could get compo. if he's that stupid, why is allowed near rooves?

Same as the stupid bint who tripped on the plastic strapping. Look where you are going you daft cow.

I know!!! They are so fecking stupid. Who exactly is the target audience for these ads?

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Guest theboltonfury

I know!!! They are so fecking stupid. Who exactly is the target audience for these ads?

It is a fascinating fact that the viewing figures of Countdown mirror the Unemployment figures.

Probably not now - they've got a hottie with skirts shorter than Gordon Strachan's temper doing the words and numbers.

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Guest Noodle

If I handed a woodworker a fret saw when he was wishing to cut up some sturdy timber, he'd call me a **** and probably nut me.

Why didn't the guy with the ladder have the courage of his convictions and do the same to his colleague?

He did. He just let gravity and concrete do it instead.

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Those adds really piss me off.

New law suggestion for the government :

If you get some ambulance chaser to put in a spurious claim, all your assets are removed and given to the NHS :)

and you get a kicking

that should stop the ads ;)

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Those adds really piss me off.

New law suggestion for the government :

If you get some ambulance chaser to put in a spurious claim, all your assets are removed and given to the NHS :)

and you get a kicking

that should stop the ads ;)

I liked the fat old geezer with the tache.Safestyle UK is really good too.I ve currently got an ambulance chaser working for me.I got shunted down the road in the style of the party in theClio on youtube,on the front end of a Volvo 40 tonner.They are going to pay BIGSTYLE!

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I liked the fat old geezer with the tache.Safestyle UK is really good too.I ve currently got an ambulance chaser working for me.I got shunted down the road in the style of the party in theClio on youtube,on the front end of a Volvo 40 tonner.They are going to pay BIGSTYLE!

I SAID YOU BUY ONE, YOU GET ONE FREE!!!

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Don't forget that there are two sides to every story.Once this trucker had hit my car while I was on the slip road approaching an exit the lying thieving Insurance company claimed that I was undertaking..I hired a forensic engineer to inspect my car and prepare a report that shows he rear ended me.Only then did they run up the white flag.It has cost them an extra three grand already and there is more litigation where that came from.

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Guest theboltonfury

Don't forget that there are two sides to every story.Once this trucker had hit my car while I was on the slip road approaching an exit the lying thieving Insurance company claimed that I was undertaking..I hired a forensic engineer to inspect my car and prepare a report that shows he rear ended me.Only then did they run up the white flag.It has cost them an extra three grand already and there is more litigation where that came from.

they lose more than 3 grand running for the bus.

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A striking lesson in keeping the upper lip stiff is given in a recent number of the weekly bulletin of the Federation of Civil Engineering Contractors, which prints the following letter from a bricklayer in Golders Green to the firm for whom he works.

"Respected Sir,

When I got to the top of the building I found that the hurricane had knocked some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks.

When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom, and then went up and filled the barrel with extra bricks. Then I went to the bottom and cast off the line.

Unfortunately the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground.

I decided to hang on, and halfway up I met the barrel coming down, and received a severe blow on the shoulder.

I then continued to the top, banging me 'ead against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley.

When the barrel hit the ground, it burst at its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel, and so started down again at high speed.

Halfway down I met the barrel coming up, and received servere injuries to my shins. When I hit the ground I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges.

At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go the line.

The barrel then came down, giving me another heavy blow on the head, and putting me in hospital.

I respectfully request sick leave. "

- Gerard Hoffnung, 1958. Sorry, failed to find it on youtube :(

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Guest happy?

A striking lesson in keeping the upper lip stiff is given in a recent number of the weekly bulletin of the Federation of Civil Engineering Contractors, which prints the following letter from a bricklayer in Golders Green to the firm for whom he works.

- Gerard Hoffnung, 1958. Sorry, failed to find it on youtube :(

Have you been injured in an accident at work that was not your fault?

Do you have an irritating regional accent?

Are you obviously a fat chav looking for something for nothing?

Why not phone Injury Claims Direct By Phone and talk to one of our claims clowns now?

We will relieve you of your remaining cash and any vestige of self-respect you may once have had.

Our 100% success rate is guaranteed. We will take your money, lead you up the garden path, and you will never see your cash again.

Injury Claims Direct By Phone - relieving chavs of their cash since 2006.

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Guest theboltonfury

Peter Serafinowicz's spoof is comedy genius:

You're right. Very funny indeed.

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I'm glad it is not just me that finds that advert annoying.

'I was given the wrong type of ladder' , FFS then why did he use it!!!

And did he not think that without rubber feet, that maybe, just maybe, he should have someone footing it. Utter **** who deserves to fall off.

Anyway, what happened to the Ocean Finance adverts, you know the original ones with 'just give um a go' logo. I do miss them, as they were always worth a giggle.

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If I was a professional roofer, I'd know about ladders. I reckon so.

If someone gave me the wrong sort (i.e. dangerous) of ladder, I'd just refuse to use it. I certainly wouldn't continue, crush my hand, dislocate my shoulder, even if I could get compo. if he's that stupid, why is allowed near rooves?

Same as the stupid bint who tripped on the plastic strapping. Look where you are going you daft cow.

Whilst we laugh about these ads the cost of spurious claims to UK Industry (and the public sector) is astronomical.

I currently work for a Pub co and investigate liability claims. Our dodgy claims hotspots are Liverpool and Essex

To investigate 3 and document the denial of liability to be sent back to the NFNW solicitor typically takes1.5-2 days of my time with travel / enquiries etc. Our broker would charge us £395 per claim to do this work if we contracted it out as many smaller companies do.

Even batting them off has a major cost (although no where near taking an open cheque book policy). Genuine claims where we are at fault we settle as soon as possible to minimise legal costs.

Some of my recent classics

Woman walking in the opposite direction to where she is looking - trips over car park speed bump

Man slips on ice in car park on the day the whole of Europe was covered in a foot of snow

Guy walking around the extensive gardens of a hotel - put his foot down a rabbit hole

Kid climbing in bushes that form the boundary of a pub garden trips over a branch

Kid decents to jump off a climbing frame. Father attempts to catch and breaks his shoulder

Granny runs onto a kids play area - hits her head on padded climbing frame

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Guest theboltonfury

Whilst we laugh about these ads the cost of spurious claims to UK Industry (and the public sector) is astronomical.

I currently work for a Pub co and investigate liability claims. Our dodgy claims hotspots are Liverpool and Essex

To investigate 3 and document the denial of liability to be sent back to the NFNW solicitor typically takes1.5-2 days of my time with travel / enquiries etc. Our broker would charge us £395 per claim to do this work if we contracted it out as many smaller companies do.

Even batting them off has a major cost (although no where near taking an open cheque book policy). Genuine claims where we are at fault we settle as soon as possible to minimise legal costs.

Some of my recent classics

Woman walking in the opposite direction to where she is looking - trips over car park speed bump

Man slips on ice in car park on the day the whole of Europe was covered in a foot of snow

Guy walking around the extensive gardens of a hotel - put his foot down a rabbit hole

Kid climbing in bushes that form the boundary of a pub garden trips over a branch

Kid decents to jump off a climbing frame. Father attempts to catch and breaks his shoulder

Granny runs onto a kids play area - hits her head on padded climbing frame

I assume you had to settle all of these. Given that Lambeth Council recently had to pay out to a lady who was hit by a falling twig whilst being in the park.

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I assume you had to settle all of these. Given that Lambeth Council recently had to pay out to a lady who was hit by a falling twig whilst being in the park.

All the ones I listed we denied liability and they all fukked off. The last one got as far as Mansfield County Court but it looks like the NFNW Barrister Bottled it at last minute. We had a £41K reserve on that and that little saving helped bump my bonus above RPI!

Basis of a defence of any claim is;

Was the HAzard that caused the accident a result of a defect (physical or organisational) caused by us.

Was the hazard reasonably forseeable

Did we take reasonable practicable measures to reduce the risk of the hazard causing an accident

The point is even if you take an active management stance, investigate and defend evidently spurious claims there is still a cost. Investigating these is wholly reactive and draws my time off proactive programmes to reduce employee accidents / ill health or regulatory interventions Env Health, Trading Standards, Fire etc

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  • 153 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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