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Dave Beans

What's The Most Embarrassing Thing You've Done In Front Of An "audience"

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I've probably done one thing, even a couple of embarrassing things, but I await responses before I bear my soul...

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I've probably done one thing, even a couple of embarrassing things, but I await responses before I bear my soul...

Does it have to have be embarrassing as it happened?

Or can it be something that you thought made you a legend at the time, but shortly afterwards, when you remembered, your sphincter twitched uncontrollably and your ears bled with horror and shame?

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Does it have to have be embarrassing as it happened?

Or can it be something that you thought made you a legend at the time, but shortly afterwards, when you remembered, your sphincter twitched uncontrollably and your ears bled with horror and shame?

I'm feeling kind..I might allow that.. :)

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My brother put the end of year school play on hold for a few minutes when he was 10.

He told the audience that he had to go to the loo and to hang on for a minute as he would be right back.

Not as bad as standing in a puddle I suppose.

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i don't know if this counts as an audience, but once while software contracting for an international pharmaceutical company in lausanne, completely sloshed after a gala dinner, i boarded the coach back to the hotel and espying a group of german doctors, thought it would be a fun jape to crack my heels together and snap out a hitler salute, imagining somewhere in my swiss wine and creme de menthe-addled conciousness that i was hilariously reprising the fawlty towers "germans" sketch. luckily, my germans had a sense of humour and i kept my job. one of them even gave me a cuban cigar. i threw up everywhere after that cigar.

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I put this on another thread somewhere but I'll repeat it again for posterity.

Some years back when I was in the Scouts in Australia I was given the solemn task of lowering the flag and saluting in the town hall in front of an assemblage that included dignitaries and the mayor as well if I recall correctly, about two hundred or so people in all.

Anyway the time came and, starched and polished, I marched in immaculate fashion to the flag and began to lower it, watched in appreciative silence by the crowd. Once this was down I reverently folded it, stepped back and snapped off a perfect salute accompanied by the most ear-splitting fart I have ever unleashed on an unsuspecing Earth. It rent the air in twain and probably tore a hole into the next dimension as well as echoing repeatedly off the walls of the hall where the ceremony was taking place. I remember a moment of silence (once the last guff- echo had faded into gassy memory of course) before the entire hall collapsed into gales of laughter and I slunk away, mortified for life.

I never took a bollocking or anything for it strangely enough as everyone who spaoke to me afterwards said it was one of the funniest things they had ever witnessed.

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When I was 16 we had a variety show type thing (because in Ireland the 4th year is an optional year where you basically doss about for a year). Other than having to play Scary Spice (this was Ireland a decade and a half ago so there were no black kids in my school), I was also one of the members of Sister Sledge (as I just said we had no black people in my school). On the day of the concert we had a dress rehearsal performed in front of the school. We were all there in our Sister Sledge outfits but the person who was doing the sound messed up so we were stood there for minutes, not knowing what was going on and with everyone staring at us so I eventually took the executive decision to just sing the song acapella. Since I had no way of conveying this to the other girls I just had to start singing and hope they sang along so I had a few seconds of singing "We are family..." all by myself before luckily the rest of the girls joined in with me - if I'd died on my **** with that it would have been excruciatingly embarrassing. I have no idea what I would have done if I'd gone through the whole chorus without anyone joining in but I think it might have involved wishing I'd be swallowed by a massive hole in the ground.

You could turn that experience into a syndicated TV show and make millions I tell ya.

glee-fox-show.jpg

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Guest Skinty

- One USB stick with presentation on it.

- Someone else's laptop connected to the digital projector.

- Adobe photoloader

- Pictures of myself on the USB stick ... naked.

- An international conference.

Lessons learnt:

- Use a clean USB stick

- If you are wearing a hat then put it over the damn projector rather than faff around trying to close windows.

- Academics fall asleep after the first presentation.

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- One USB stick with presentation on it.

- Someone else's laptop connected to the digital projector.

- Adobe photoloader

- Pictures of myself on the USB stick ... naked.

- An international conference.

Lessons learnt:

- Use a clean USB stick

- If you are wearing a hat then put it over the damn projector rather than faff around trying to close windows.

- Academics fall asleep after the first presentation.

:)

Can we see the pics then?

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Guest Mrs Bradley

Walked down a corridor in a college, with my skirt tucked into my knickers!unsure.gif

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Guest Skinty

Walked down a corridor in a college, with my skirt tucked into my knickers!unsure.gif

I once walked passed a woman in the street who had done that. It didn't occur to me afterwards what was wrong as otherwise I would have told her.

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  • 152 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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