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Kelly Brook Is Single!


Guest theboltonfury

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HOLA441

I stand by disinterested - a man is never uninterested in a woman (unless he's gay).

So, a man is more attractive if he's 'impartial, unbiased and just' towards a woman?

I would've thought it would be pretty difficult for someone to casually demonstrate their impartiality in initial wine-bar conversation... :D

EDIT: I was so astonished by the whole choice-of-word thing, that I forgot to be outraged by the a-men-is-never-uninterested-in-a-woman thing! So, well done for that! :lol:

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HOLA442

I was thinking of more easily made mistakes such as confusing her with Brook Shields (name) or someone who is a bit similar to her in terms of who she is and what she does.

Well I think I'd definitely be able to bed her since I genuinely don't know who she is.

Is she a film star? What's she been in then?

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Guest theboltonfury

Well I think I'd definitely be able to bed her since I genuinely don't know who she is.

Is she a film star? What's she been in then?

She's just well known for being fit.

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Guest theboltonfury

Oh is that it. I was struggling to figure out why she was famous too.

A modern day Raquel Welsh. Shit actor, terrible presenter, just bloody marvellous to look at.

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I'd crawl over broken glass for a w@nk on her shadow.

Oh I like that sir, verily I do. :lol::lol:

<Noted for future pub banter>

I do presume you know she's agreed to do Playboy?

I'm saving my pennies and have chosen a stash area that would rival Alcatraz.

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Guest theboltonfury

Aren't people with a CV like that normally called 'models'?

Yes. Then they split into 2 groups.

Catwalk - often ugly, skinny and spotty, but look great in clothes. Utterly conceited, pretentious and scabby little things.

Glamour - more my sort. Caked in make up, big knockers, big hair, sky high heels. Thick as pig shit and do you want you want if you ply them with LaBoutins.

Our Kelly, is more the latter.

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HOLA448

Glamour - more my sort. Caked in make up, big knockers, big hair, sky high heels. Thick as pig shit and do you want you want if you ply them with LaBoutins.

Now we are talking !! I like this look too. In fact most blokes do - hence why they appear in lads mags !!

Have you noticed the latest fashions for birds these days ? It is almost like the look to go for is the 'complete and utter fake slag' look. Massive hair, too much makeup, fake eyelashes. Even non slutty birds are at it.

Not that I mind like.....

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Guest theboltonfury

Now we are talking !! I like this look too. In fact most blokes do - hence why they appear in lads mags !!

Have you noticed the latest fashions for birds these days ? It is almost like the look to go for is the 'complete and utter fake slag' look. Massive hair, too much makeup, fake eyelashes. Even non slutty birds are at it.

Not that I mind like.....

It's great when these looks come round again. We pretend not to have any interest, but really, we're delighted.

I remember a few years ago and all the rage for birds was cloggy type wedges. I despaired. What I wanted was at the end of the night to have my way with Mrs Fury whilst she tottered around in 5 inch leopard skin stilettos, not some mutliple 'wrap around the calf' comfortable wedge. I am so easily pleased, and I think most guys are too.

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uh oh

I must be gay.............

Get the right leather jumpsuit, aforementioned 5 inch leopard skin heels (ideally with a boot attached), way to much makeup, decent haircut, ball gag and a rubber mask, should be good to go cool.gif

Got to remember to have safe sex though - get a paper bag over your head to avoid lasting injury.

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Guest theboltonfury

Get the right leather jumpsuit, aforementioned 5 inch leopard skin heels (ideally with a boot attached), way to much makeup, decent haircut, ball gag and a rubber mask, should be good to go cool.gif

Got to remember to have safe sex though - get a paper bag over your head to avoid lasting injury.

I'm sorry, but some things are off limits.

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HOLA4414

She's probably after Gavin Henson now he and charlotte church seem to have split.

Didnt she dump Jason Statham for more sucessful Billy Zane. Although maybe Statham is more sucessful now.

Maybe she's doing the same with rugby players.

That is the first and last celeb based post i intend to make.

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Guest theboltonfury

She's probably after Gavin Henson now he and charlotte church seem to have split.

Didnt she dump Jason Statham for more sucessful Billy Zane. Although maybe Statham is more sucessful now.

Maybe she's doing the same with rugby players.

That is the first and last celeb based post i intend to make.

I would imagine that most professional athletes who (mostly) treat their bodies as temples would rather die that date the useless, gobby, flabby, sack of shit that is Charlotte Church.

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HOLA4416

I would imagine that most professional athletes who (mostly) treat their bodies as temples would rather die that date the useless, gobby, flabby, sack of shit that is Charlotte Church.

I have to admit ive always wondered what gavin henson, who could probably get any woman he wanted, saw in the chain smoking, kebab chomping grease hound that is charlotte church.

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HOLA4417

I would imagine that most professional athletes who (mostly) treat their bodies as temples would rather die that date the useless, gobby, flabby, sack of shit that is Charlotte Church.

And she was so angelic a mere decade ago. Just goes to show what money can do to some people, and not for the better.

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Guest theboltonfury

And she was so angelic a mere decade ago. Just goes to show what money can do to some people, and not for the better.

They let Barrymore get to her.

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Guest theboltonfury

Now he really is an object lesson in profligate self destruction.

Just shows that no matter who you are, no matter how long you've been at the very top, you can be finished in a split second, forever.

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HOLA4422

Just shows that no matter who you are, no matter how long you've been at the very top, you can be finished in a split second, forever.

Absolutely.

Celebrities tend to think they are invincible, but fame is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever.

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Guest theboltonfury

Kelly Brook for anyone on here will be.

Very likely.

However, once upon landing at Gatwick about 15 years ago, I found myself standing next to the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in the actual flesh, who in turn was standing next to the ugliest man I'd ever seen in the flesh. I was stunned and yet given real hope in life.

I'd just disemabarked from the samne plane as Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett.

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HOLA4424

Very likely.

However, once upon landing at Gatwick about 15 years ago, I found myself standing next to the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in the actual flesh, who in turn was standing next to the ugliest man I'd ever seen in the flesh. I was stunned and yet given real hope in life.

I'd just disemabarked from the samne plane as Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett.

lylelovett8.jpg

Cripes!

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HOLA4425

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