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Ruffneck

Your Worst Ever Meal?

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Was at this bistro type place , there is a place that does good kebabas down the road but thought i'd try something different.

Ordered a large roast meal expecting plain old lamb , carrots , peas and mashed/roast potatoes with a basic gravy.What i actually got was grey lamb that was tough as old boots , no peas or carrots but CHIPS FFS and a sort of mashed cauliflower/brocolli cheese thing next to the chips.The gravy was sweet and had a barbecue sort of taste! they also had a BBQ ribs on their menu and i strongly suspect it was the same sauce as used in that dish.

How can you ****** up a roast dinner so badly? Can anyone top that shocker?

The only one that tops it for mine is fish & chips in Northern Ireland back in the late 90s.It came in a polystyrene container and when we got down to the beach with our chips and bit into them there was a distinct vegemite/bovril type taste.I believe the polystyrene had starting melting and this 'flavour' had made it's way into the food inside the container.

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A one-eyed scotsman once served us a shit sandwich.

I don't know how much it was, they're still printing the bill. :(

He certainly made a dog's dinner of the country.

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Went to a Cotswold hotel (not even remotely in the cheap range) with my parents just before my wedding for a meal and was served up quite possibly the worst plate of grub I have ever seen in all my days. I had a steak, the old man had fish and chips and Mrs Ding had ravioli. The ravioli was described as being hand made but had blatantly come from the Sainsburys across the road and had been covered in BBQ sauce (I shit you not) before being nuked in the microwave, when she lifted one with her fork the whole congealed plateful came up with it. My steak looked like something you'd see on the beach in the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan and was beyond inedible and the old mans fish was semi frozen. The final straw was the 3 square inch piece of muddy black plastic included in the salad.

I was so infuriated that they expected someone to actually pay for such a turd of a meal that I dispensed a shouty bollocking usually reserved for only very special occasions and dared them to charge us a penny, which they reluctantly didn't.

Another gem was dinner with an ex in another rather pricey pub in the Cotswolds where she was confronted with an economy sized garden worm in her salad.

Eating out in the UK generally is a lesson in disappointment, find a good one and stick to it, and as the OP said why do so many places **** up a Sunday Roast?

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I had a particulalry badly cooked octopus in Greece back in 1994. Also had the worst fish I'd ever eaten on that trip too. I think they had some sort of machine they used to pump luke warm olive oil into the fillet.

Had a very bad meal at the best restaurant in New Zealand in 1995. The "spring lamb" tasted like rotten mutton. It was the only meal I have ever refused to pay for.

My undergraduate college had some shocking meals. Dessert always had crushed pineapple in it. Finally, after a couple of years there appeared bowls of what seemed to be chocolate mousse with no visible pineapple. We all expressed surprise...only to discover that at the very bottom of the bowl, surrounded by mousse was a gratuitous dollop of crushed pineapple... :(

However, the worst meals are the ones that have left me cleaned out, so to speak.

The cream in my 20th birthday cake woke me up at 3am in the morning. Opened up both ends simultaneously for about 3 hours and sent me to bed for 4 days. It was so violent everything came out in a 135 degree cone. Luckily I lived in a college, so there were multiple facilities.

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Guest anorthosite

A one-eyed scotsman once served us a shit sandwich.

I don't know how much it was, they're still printing the bill. :(

Sometimes I feel this site has a collective case of OCD on a certain subject :huh:

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Went to a Cotswold hotel (not even remotely in the cheap range) with my parents just before my wedding for a meal and was served up quite possibly the worst plate of grub I have ever seen (didn't eat it) in all my days. I had a steak, the old man had fish and chips and Mrs Ding had ravioli. The ravioli was described as being hand made but had blatantly come from the Sainsburys across the road and had been covered in BBQ sauce (I shit you not) before being nuked in the microwave, when she lifted one with her fork the whole congealed plateful came up with it. My steak looked like something you'd see on the beach in the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan and was beyond inedible and the old mans fish was semi frozen. The final straw was the 3 square inch piece of muddy black plastic included in the salad.

I was so infuriated that they expected someone to actually pay for such a turd of a meal that I dispensed a shouty bollocking usually reserved for only very special occasions and dared them to charge us a penny, which they reluctantly didn't.

Another gem was dinner with an ex in another rather pricey pub in the Cotswolds where she was confronted with an economy sized garden worm in her salad.

Eating out in the UK generally is a lesson in disappointment, find a good one and stick to it, and as the OP said why do so many places **** up a Sunday Roast?

Can't say I agree with that. Don't think I can remember having a really bad meal anywhere round this way. True, some stuff is better than others but I genuinely can't remember being served anything I would have sent back or refused to pay for.

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Can't say I agree with that. Don't think I can remember having a really bad meal anywhere round this way. True, some stuff is better than others but I genuinely can't remember being served anything I would have sent back or refused to pay for.

Maybe I'm just unlucky but I tend to do a lot of road trips and I've found it rare to get a meal worthy of what you paid for it, especially in places that charge like a wounded rhino. The real shockers are rare but I've had a few and I'll eat pretty much anything though somewhere expecting 15 quid or more for what is essentially a plate of gristle and soggy veg is taking the piss. I'll pay then grumble for a few hours, I won't pay for anything off or still frozen.

On a more positive note I'm more than happy to check out the good places as recommended, Brown's in Oxford is a bit of a favourite :)

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Customer: "Waiter!! This steak is so tough it's totally inedible. Take it back to the chef and tell him to stick it up his @rse!"

Waiter: "It will have to join the queue, sir. There's a bogognaise and a fillet of sole ahead of you..."

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Customer: "Waiter!! This steak is so tough it's totally inedible. Take it back to the chef and tell him to stick it up his @rse!"

Waiter: "It will have to join the queue, sir. There's a bogognaise and a fillet of sole ahead of you..."

angry_chef-12160.jpg

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I often get a bacon roll etc at a mobile greasy spoon because you can watch them cook it in front of you.

Have to say that most are very good, so I was a bit shocked the other day to see the cook put the bacon on top of burnt in black residue on the plate. Every other place is meticulous in scraping the steel plate with a wall paper stripper, but this woman just plonked the bacon on top of the old residue.

You really have to wonder just what some people eat at home. She seemed amazed when I complained. The bacon came off the plate, cooked but covered in black bits. She seemed to think that this was normal.

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Oh yes, and at my first year at uni every catered meal was diabolical, though i suppose you'd expect that as its really just 'school dinners' - Guess Jamie oliver missed them.

Incidentally, it seemed to turn more people into veggies than the animal rights folk or health brigade as they just didnt trust the meat - im positive i once saw an eyeball in amongst the battery farmed lamb shanks once.

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Worst meal I ever had was in Shanghai. First course was a soup. I swear it looked like dirty dish water, with human spit on the top. And considering the locals weren't always that friendly round there, I suspect it really was saliva.

Second worst was one of those ten course fancy meals (you can tell I'm so cultured haha) in Cannes, France. The actual food was ok, but each course was so tiny and the wait so long that we had to get up and leave before it was over. We were absolutely famished.

I don't recall any horror stories from the UK funnily enough. When they serve up s*** here, there's no surprise because that's just exactly what you expected.

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I had a curry in a pub from the Hungry Horse chain the other day, utterly awful.

The popadoms (sp) were just crappy microwave ones, the chicken was tough as old boots and the Naan was stale, the only good thing was the sauce that has a nice kick to it.

All my other mates (who ate various things) were equally unimpressed, but what does one expect from these places. I'll never be eating at a hungry horse again!

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Guest theboltonfury

So called silver service restaurant in the Reebok Stadium, Bolton. Reflections, I think it was called.

4 years ago, still picking the risotto out now.

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A chicken dansak in Rusholme that had cocktail cherries in (I assume it had pineapple from fruit cocktail in)

Edible. Yes. Interesting yes. Want another? No.

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A vegetarian set meal in Chinatown. Everything was swimming in cheap recycled grease thus everything tasted sweaty and stale, and the copious amounts of added MSG amplified this revolting flavour. To make matters worse there was a surprising lack of vegetables for a vegetarian meal. I could only manage a few mouthfuls. Thankfully the ex father-in-law was paying and he took the blame for choosing such a crap restaurant.

Anothers strong contender was a very cheap and nasty meal in an American-style diner in Watford. My colleague found a used tissue in her salad. When she complained the staff gave us a complimentary cheap bottle of luke warm pomagne which merely added insult to injury. We decided that the meal was so bad that we walked out without paying, even though our employer would have footed the bill, as we were on a residential training course.

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Dinner my wife cooked on Wednesday. Dolmades made with some frozen leaves she found in a asian grocers. It was like trying to eat lumps of salt wrapped in plastic bags.

Needless to say she'll use proper ones next time.

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To be honest it has become a bit of a lottery when it comes to eating out, when you are in the habit of making really good food at home from fresh and healthy ingredients most places offer up a poor alternative that has to be paid for.....not that it stops you eating out on special occasions with special people, but when you do best stick to your favorite tried and trusted places then there is a higher chance you will be satisfied, not to say that things don't ever change...they most probably will.

....also there is a lot to be said for word of mouth....bad places get bad press the same as good places get good press....providing bad service or bad food can be the death of a business. ;)

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Every meal I was served as a young airman in 1988 was vile. Rock hard tatties. Raw meat. Everything had curry powder in it. Yuk.

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I get quite annoyed when I order a sweet and sour in a nice seeming chinese restaurant and get something that isn't as good as the sweet and sour I make at home. Anyway, I spent a lot of time in hospital as a kid so I've got a lot of ties for worse meal ever - my mum used to have to bring me in dinner because I wouldn't eat the food there and I had no chance of being released while I wasn't eating. Considering I always had a healthy appetite even when I was sick it said a lot about the food that I refused to eat it.

I have no experience of hospital food apart from when I have visited people and the food trolley came around....didn't look exactly appetising, now I know why people bring in the extras for patients...I noticed a fair bit of wastage on the plates,slop for the pigs.

School dinners were great though, brown stew and dumplings, roast beef and roast potatoes, the curry was good too...loved the chocolate pudding and chocolate custard, treacle pud, all make by hand and cooked on the premises by the best dinner ladies in the world..I could go on.

I don't think you can beat home cooked food....even paying a fortune for something you expect to be good can work out to be disappointing, also when you cook it yourself you know what has gone into it. I find Chinese restaurants and takeaways put so much MSG in their foods it makes me feel sick a few hours later and have to drink about 2 pints of water because I feel so dehydrated....so can only eat Chinese if I cook it myself now.

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Guest Mrs Bradley

I have no experience of hospital food apart from when I have visited people and the food trolley came around....didn't look exactly appetising, now I know why people bring in the extras for patients...I noticed a fair bit of wastage on the plates,slop for the pigs.

School dinners were great though, brown stew and dumplings, roast beef and roast potatoes, the curry was good too...loved the chocolate pudding and chocolate custard, treacle pud, all make by hand and cooked on the premises by the best dinner ladies in the world..I could go on.

I don't think you can beat home cooked food....even paying a fortune for something you expect to be good can work out to be disappointing, also when you cook it yourself you know what has gone into it. I find Chinese restaurants and takeaways put so much MSG in their foods it makes me feel sick a few hours later and have to drink about 2 pints of water because I feel so dehydrated....so can only eat Chinese if I cook it myself now.

I have fond memories of school meals back in the 1960s. it was good grub! I agree about home cooked food with some notable exceptions over the years.

Worst meal was in a pub in Hay on Wye. I ordered a lasagne and the parmesan tasted and acted like plastic. On complaining the landlord was rude and surly: Inferred that I did not know decent food when I was served it. I asked him for a sample to take away for analysis but he declined. So few people complain as they can't be bothered, they just vote with their feet, so poor food quality is perpetuated.

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