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Bossybabe

The Real North/south Divide

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50°F

People in Southern England turn on the central heating

People in Edinburgh put out bedding plants

40°F

Southerners shiver uncontrollably

Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35°F

Cars in the South of England refuse to start

People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20°F

Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats

Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15°F

Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent

People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0°F

Life in the South grinds to a halt

Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10°F

Life in the South ceases to exist

People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°F

Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on

Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°F

Santa Claus abandons North Pole

People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-173°F

Alcohol freezes

Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297°F

Microbial life starts to disappear

The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-460°F

All atomic motion stops

Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-500°F

Hell freezes over

Scotland will support England in the World cup

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Guest Noodle

Had heat index of 50C regularly this year.

Bad right now, I'm covered in a heat rash.

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Had heat index of 50C regularly this year.

Bad right now, I'm covered in a heat rash.

Bad news, old boy. It's really MRSA-thrush.

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Guest Noodle

Bad news, old boy. It's really MRSA-thrush.

It's starting to go now, had it the past few days. Been very humid here.

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It's starting to go now, had it the past few days. Been very humid here.

Mate of mine used to get some sort of fungal infection in awkward places in the heat, he said he had it for years.

Disappeared when his wife started making natural yoghurts which he began eating.

And people say the body isn't complex!

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  • 152 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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