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The Masked Tulip

Aroused Kangaroo Terrorising Women In Small Australian Town

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Guest happy?

Clearly. That's the normal aussie male reaction.

No roo's gonna come between me and my sheep.

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Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable

It's amazing what a woman will let you get away with when you're dressed up in a kangaroo costume.

I suppose "My Secret Garden" wasn't far off the mark.

Tomorrow I'll try the Alsatian outfit.

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It's amazing what a woman will let you get away with when you're dressed up in a kangaroo costume.

I suppose "My Secret Garden" wasn't far off the mark.

Tomorrow I'll try the Alsatian outfit.

Nancy Friday? How do I knowe that... I mean, is that a car mag?

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Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable

Nancy Friday? How do I knowe that... I mean, is that a car mag?

I found a copy of it in my grandmother's dildo drawer as a small boy, the day before my Confirmation.

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I found a copy of it in my grandmother's dildo drawer as a small boy, the day before my Confirmation.

Do these ring a bell?

889529711_1b1a9df65c.jpg?v=0

Edit:

Actually, that middle one does look a tad 'roo shaped.

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Do these ring a bell?

889529711_1b1a9df65c.jpg?v=0

Edit:

Actually, that middle one does look a tad 'roo shaped.

Too thick. Moreover, most kangaroos (other than the grey and red) have bifurcated penises.

Btw, I was a biologist for many years, so all this information is due to a professional interest in the creatures...

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This woman though she would film her amorous adventures with the randy roo but he is a bit camera shy....

kangaroo-punch-woman.jpg

Kangaroo vs. John Prescott: who would win?

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Too thick. Moreover, most kangaroos (other than the grey and red) have bifurcated penises.

Btw, I was a biologist for many years, so all this information is due to a professional interest in the creatures...

Why?

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Why?

Twice as much fun?

Seriously though, it gets weirder from a human perspective. Female kangaroos have 2 clitorises and 3 vaginas (sort of), two through which sperm travel and a birth canal which opens up between them at the time of birth. Two vaginas sort of makes sense, given that mammals have two ovaries and hence, primitively, two uteruses. In humans (and I think all placental mammals, though I could be wrong) the two vaginas have joined to form a single tube. I suspect the birth canal (third vagina) in marsupials forms to avoid the ureters (tubes from kidneys to bladder/urogenital sack), the two vaginas being unable to fuse due to the ureters looping through them. Hmmm - these pictures might explain better:

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=KNxIlprcmTYC&pg=PA62&lpg=PA62&dq=urogenital+sack+marsupial+urine&source=bl&ots=d_BjP4GNq1&sig=b-MoucDWiQJ-3UnBV6X1dbRUX_Q&hl=en&ei=pTnvS4f3LoTYsQODybHFDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CBgQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

These sorts of f*** ups happen in evolution all the time. Human spermatic cords loop up over the ureters iirc meaning the poor little buggers have to travel twice as far as they need to. The laryngeal nerve does a similar thing in mammals - going all the way down into the chest cavity and back up again, mean giraffes have 15ft of nerve detour for no good reason. Locusts also have some strange wing nerve wiring going on for similar reasons.

The split ***** is probably to ensure fertilization of both uteruses. You should also note that marsupials don't urinate through there ***** and their testicles are above their *****, not below as in placentals.

Some Australian aboriginals subincise their penises as a right of passage to adulthood, i.e. cut along the underside of the ***** to the urethra, so it is no longer a tube (damn that must hurt). I presume this is to mimic marsupial bifed penises.

And if you think that stuff is weird, just start looking at insects. For instance, some male bed bugs pierce the female's abdominal wall with his external genitalia and inseminates into her body cavity.

Edited to cirdumvent the language filter to write the work ***** instead of *****! Apparently, btw, as far as the lanugage filter is concerned one ***** is bad, but two penises (or penes) is not. That's speciesism if you ask me!

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Kangaroo Dundee!

/me recollects roos as utterly non-threatening. About as much threat as a sheep to an adult human.

They can be a bit nasty if they want to be, piss them off (e.g reject their amorous advances) and roos have a habit of leaning back and kicking out with their legs which can cause some grim injuries. In fact I think a roo killed someone here a while ago when it got their femoral artery after putting the boot in.

:ph34r:

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There were reports that a male speedway fan confronted the kangaroo in a bid to scare it away, but came off second best when it punched him in the face.

:lol::lol: And then the kangaroo went for a pint.

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  • 259 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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