OzzMosiz Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke. I am ashamed of my sex. Why are they [almost] all so stupid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingding Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families It's weddings mate, they will break into heretofore untapped seams of mentalness in some ladies. Best thing to do is keep your head down and dodge the bullets when they start to fly and only get involved if and when the plans and ideas get out of control and begin to require Donald Trump levels of financial backing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzzMosiz Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke. No kidding, she is sending me copies of texts she's sent to my mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families If anyone spoke to me like that the only way they'd get to enjoy the wedding is through the local paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Now we don't have much info to go on - however is it possible there is a bit of sibling jelousy in there ? The anger sounds like a bird who may actually like you rather more than she is supposed to....... Bossybabe - You are not all bad - but jeez some of you can be lunatics !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahoo Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Just put it down to hormones. I've had all that with little sis. It's like walking on egg-shells. Eventually I say something and - CRACK - one breaks and all hell is let loose. I'm then subjected to a barrage of irrational anger; accussed of stuff I had no idea I'd done. A little piece of advise - don't get angry. It only eats you up, and the other person has absolutley no idea that you are so pissed with them. Just let it go. IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHERWICK Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Eventually I say something and - CRACK - one breaks and all hell is let loose. I'm then subjected to a barrage of irrational anger; accussed of stuff I had no idea I'd done. I thought this was normal behaviour... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I would seriously consider the possibility that the personality disorder traits you are witnessing in the future sis-in-law might be common in the females of that entire family. Perhaps one is just hiding her true persona from you until you are hooked, line and sinker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families If we are doing family stories and weddings, I'll give you the one about my Mum's side. 45 years ago her Aunt was getting married. Two wedding invites, to the Aunt's sister and niece arrived a day later than the others and before they arrived the sister and niece spoke to some distant relatives who mentioned the wedding invite. Since that day the sister has only spoken to the rest of the family at funerals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinty Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Get married on an expensive holiday where none of the guests can afford to come along. That way instead of spending loads of money on some stupid function room and dinner for a load of guests who aren't going to appreciate it, you spend it on yourself, enjoy it all and also don't have to deal with the others. When I get married it will might well be somewhere inaccessible by road in the Scottish highlands or islands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay Beautiful Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I would seriously consider the possibility that the personality disorder traits you are witnessing in the future sis-in-law might be common in the females of that entire family. Perhaps one is just hiding her true persona from you until you are hooked, line and sinker? Spot On MT. As with all purchases, Caveat Emptor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Just put it down to hormones. I've had all that with little sis. It's like walking on egg-shells. Eventually I say something and - CRACK - one breaks and all hell is let loose. I'm then subjected to a barrage of irrational anger; accussed of stuff I had no idea I'd done. A little piece of advise - don't get angry. It only eats you up, and the other person has absolutley no idea that you are so pissed with them. Just let it go. IMHO. The above highlighted phrase is such an insight - often uttered by people who are or have been mentally abused for some time. There is even a very well-known book on Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders which uses that phrase as its title. What you describe is classic control abuse behaviour from someone who, well, do some googling for the phrases. The fact that you have no idea what you have supposedly done, and often no explanation is forthcoming, is a clear sign of an abuser abusing someone IMPO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I am ashamed of my sex. Why are they [almost] all so stupid? I know several women who feel the same as yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 No kidding, she is sending me copies of texts she's sent to my mum. Ah, classic isolation technique - trying to isolate you by getting everyone on her side. Before long everyone will be doubting you, everyone will be siding with her and not believing you. Of course, experienced people with emotional intelligence will spot her for what she is a mile off - but naive people, people who want an easy option, people who have been bullied in the past, etc, will find it easier to give in to her than face the wrath of standing up to her. You need to nip this in the bud right now. May I suggest some reading? http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/a-shrink-for-men-index/ http://www.sharischreiber.com/articles.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I would seriously consider the possibility that the personality disorder traits you are witnessing in the future sis-in-law might be common in the females of that entire family. Perhaps one is just hiding her true persona from you until you are hooked, line and sinker? I think he is talking about his brother's wife so it is too late for soem already (Or could be his sister's civil partner, HPC is a broad church after all. Lest it never be said I've got anything against any crackpot minority) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I thought this was normal behaviour... Ah, a broken man. You need to find your balls or to have some seriously good therapy! Joking aside, there is nothing normal nor healthy about it as women who are allowed to get away with this behaviour basically go through life abusing others and emotionally damaging them. Also, research has shown that the more they are 'indulged' in this behaviour the worse and worse they become. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I think he is talking about his brother's wife so it is too late for soem already (Or could be his sister's civil partner, HPC is a broad church after all. Lest it never be said I've got anything against any crackpot minority) Ah, I thought it was the sister of his wife to be. Oh dear. You only need one person like this in a family to basically destroy the family as a unit and as individuals - once their 'job' is done they usually move on leaving years of emotional hurt and anxiety behind them... ready to start again on a new family, on a new individual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Get married on an expensive holiday where none of the guests can afford to come along. That way instead of spending loads of money on some stupid function room and dinner for a load of guests who aren't going to appreciate it, you spend it on yourself, enjoy it all and also don't have to deal with the others. When I get married it will might well be somewhere inaccessible by road in the Scottish highlands or islands. Yep, that is the way to do it - go on holiday to somewhere special and just do it. Maybe take your parents and those really close to you but no more. Why people have the need to have distant relatives to these events is always suspicious in my book. It will all be over in to 7 years anyhow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Ah, I thought it was the sister of his wife to be. If that is the case, you really have to wonder why she isn't hassling her directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 If that is the case, you really have to wonder why she isn't hassling her directly. Yes, just re-read it and it sounds like the wife of his brother. To change tact, she could have been more tactful... but little girls do love being bridesmaids and te little girl might dot on her uncle... then again, the sis in law could just want the daughter to be bought a really nice epxnesive princess dress... and, of course, to have that girly ego pecking order thing that is so important to most women but flies over most mens' heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spaniard Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 ... and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Well, it's an ill wind ... You should ask her to put that in writng. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinty Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Emotional blackmail and bullying only works if you let it. If you truly don't give a ****** then they just get frustrated and give up. It's all based on the premise that you care about the relationship. The moment they realise that you truly don't, then they start to make amends. Mainly so they can get power over you again. This isn't specific to women but is a characteristic of bullies in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worzel Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid. Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me. Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again. Fu**ing families It sounds like this has already gone too far to have an non-awkward outcome. Assume this is your brothers wife. Are they still together? Can he not bring her in to line. Its the brides prerogative to choose the bridesmaids, and if she has enough little cousins on her side then it just too bad, you can have everyone being a bridesmaid. If she only has one other niece, than I can see why she might feel a little disappointed that her daughter wasn't chosen, but turning it in to an argument is out of order. People that interfere with other peoples weddings are plonkers, its not their party. I got married last year, and fortunately didn't have any of this interference, but then they would know better than to try and tell me what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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