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Families Are Dumbf****!


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HOLA441

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

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HOLA442

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke.

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HOLA443

She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke.

I am ashamed of my sex. Why are they [almost] all so stupid? :o

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HOLA444

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

It's weddings mate, they will break into heretofore untapped seams of mentalness in some ladies. Best thing to do is keep your head down and dodge the bullets when they start to fly and only get involved if and when the plans and ideas get out of control and begin to require Donald Trump levels of financial backing.

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HOLA445

She is a bird. The vast majority of them (Not all) are selfish, mental and not open to reasonable debate in any way shape or form. Just forget about it and be glad you are a bloke.

No kidding, she is sending me copies of texts she's sent to my mum.

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HOLA446
Guest X-QUORK

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

If anyone spoke to me like that the only way they'd get to enjoy the wedding is through the local paper.

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HOLA447

Now we don't have much info to go on - however is it possible there is a bit of sibling jelousy in there ? The anger sounds like a bird who may actually like you rather more than she is supposed to.......:)

Bossybabe - You are not all bad - but jeez some of you can be lunatics !!

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HOLA448

Just put it down to hormones. :lol:

I've had all that with little sis. It's like walking on egg-shells. Eventually I say something and - CRACK - one breaks and all hell is let loose. I'm then subjected to a barrage of irrational anger; accussed of stuff I had no idea I'd done.

A little piece of advise - don't get angry. It only eats you up, and the other person has absolutley no idea that you are so pissed with them. Just let it go. IMHO.

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HOLA4411

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

If we are doing family stories and weddings, I'll give you the one about my Mum's side.

45 years ago her Aunt was getting married. Two wedding invites, to the Aunt's sister and niece arrived a day later than the others and before they arrived the sister and niece spoke to some distant relatives who mentioned the wedding invite.

Since that day the sister has only spoken to the rest of the family at funerals.

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HOLA4412
Guest Skinty

Get married on an expensive holiday where none of the guests can afford to come along. That way instead of spending loads of money on some stupid function room and dinner for a load of guests who aren't going to appreciate it, you spend it on yourself, enjoy it all and also don't have to deal with the others.

When I get married it will might well be somewhere inaccessible by road in the Scottish highlands or islands.

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HOLA4413

I would seriously consider the possibility that the personality disorder traits you are witnessing in the future sis-in-law might be common in the females of that entire family. Perhaps one is just hiding her true persona from you until you are hooked, line and sinker?

Spot On MT.

As with all purchases, Caveat Emptor :)

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HOLA4414

Just put it down to hormones. :lol:

I've had all that with little sis. It's like walking on egg-shells. Eventually I say something and - CRACK - one breaks and all hell is let loose. I'm then subjected to a barrage of irrational anger; accussed of stuff I had no idea I'd done.

A little piece of advise - don't get angry. It only eats you up, and the other person has absolutley no idea that you are so pissed with them. Just let it go. IMHO.

The above highlighted phrase is such an insight - often uttered by people who are or have been mentally abused for some time.

There is even a very well-known book on Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders which uses that phrase as its title.

What you describe is classic control abuse behaviour from someone who, well, do some googling for the phrases. The fact that you have no idea what you have supposedly done, and often no explanation is forthcoming, is a clear sign of an abuser abusing someone IMPO.

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HOLA4416

No kidding, she is sending me copies of texts she's sent to my mum.

Ah, classic isolation technique - trying to isolate you by getting everyone on her side.

Before long everyone will be doubting you, everyone will be siding with her and not believing you. Of course, experienced people with emotional intelligence will spot her for what she is a mile off - but naive people, people who want an easy option, people who have been bullied in the past, etc, will find it easier to give in to her than face the wrath of standing up to her. You need to nip this in the bud right now.

May I suggest some reading?

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/a-shrink-for-men-index/

http://www.sharischreiber.com/articles.html

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HOLA4417

I would seriously consider the possibility that the personality disorder traits you are witnessing in the future sis-in-law might be common in the females of that entire family. Perhaps one is just hiding her true persona from you until you are hooked, line and sinker?

I think he is talking about his brother's wife so it is too late for soem already ;)

(Or could be his sister's civil partner, HPC is a broad church after all. Lest it never be said I've got anything against any crackpot minority)

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HOLA4418

I thought this was normal behaviour... huh.gif

Ah, a broken man. You need to find your balls or to have some seriously good therapy! :rolleyes:

Joking aside, there is nothing normal nor healthy about it as women who are allowed to get away with this behaviour basically go through life abusing others and emotionally damaging them. Also, research has shown that the more they are 'indulged' in this behaviour the worse and worse they become.

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HOLA4419

I think he is talking about his brother's wife so it is too late for soem already ;)

(Or could be his sister's civil partner, HPC is a broad church after all. Lest it never be said I've got anything against any crackpot minority)

Ah, I thought it was the sister of his wife to be. Oh dear.

You only need one person like this in a family to basically destroy the family as a unit and as individuals - once their 'job' is done they usually move on leaving years of emotional hurt and anxiety behind them... ready to start again on a new family, on a new individual.

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HOLA4420

Get married on an expensive holiday where none of the guests can afford to come along. That way instead of spending loads of money on some stupid function room and dinner for a load of guests who aren't going to appreciate it, you spend it on yourself, enjoy it all and also don't have to deal with the others.

When I get married it will might well be somewhere inaccessible by road in the Scottish highlands or islands.

Yep, that is the way to do it - go on holiday to somewhere special and just do it. Maybe take your parents and those really close to you but no more. Why people have the need to have distant relatives to these events is always suspicious in my book.

It will all be over in to 7 years anyhow.

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HOLA4421
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HOLA4422

If that is the case, you really have to wonder why she isn't hassling her directly.

Yes, just re-read it and it sounds like the wife of his brother.

To change tact, she could have been more tactful... but little girls do love being bridesmaids and te little girl might dot on her uncle... then again, the sis in law could just want the daughter to be bought a really nice epxnesive princess dress... and, of course, to have that girly ego pecking order thing that is so important to most women but flies over most mens' heads.

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HOLA4424
Guest Skinty

Emotional blackmail and bullying only works if you let it.

If you truly don't give a ****** then they just get frustrated and give up.

It's all based on the premise that you care about the relationship. The moment they realise that you truly don't, then they start to make amends.

Mainly so they can get power over you again.

This isn't specific to women but is a characteristic of bullies in general.

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HOLA4425

Getting married this year, and sis-in-law asked me why my 3 year old niece hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid.

Well I'm the groom, I pick the best men, bridesmaids nothing to do with me.

Now getting accused of being a bad uncle, spineless and a tw@t and being told she never wants to speak to me again.

Fu**ing families

It sounds like this has already gone too far to have an non-awkward outcome. Assume this is your brothers wife. Are they still together? Can he not bring her in to line. Its the brides prerogative to choose the bridesmaids, and if she has enough little cousins on her side then it just too bad, you can have everyone being a bridesmaid. If she only has one other niece, than I can see why she might feel a little disappointed that her daughter wasn't chosen, but turning it in to an argument is out of order. People that interfere with other peoples weddings are plonkers, its not their party.

I got married last year, and fortunately didn't have any of this interference, but then they would know better than to try and tell me what to do.

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