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justanewbie

"never Been Better" Says Mr Brilliant

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Brushing aside any suggestion of a downturn in the market,

Marcus Brilliant of Jeremy Leaf Estate Agents, East Finchley

said that he expects record sales this month, next month

and the forthcoming year.

"We have more properties than ever before, fewer buyers

than at any time in our history and fewer sales than any

year since records began. Now is definitely the time to buy."

Expansively gesturing to a six foot high pile of advertising

brochures for several thousand properties he continued,

"Never have we had so much time to devote to less customers.

We are confident that buyers will see the sense in leaping in

to the market quickly before it topples altogether into a

frenzied blood bath. We are urging first time buyers to act

immediately while prices are still at their optimum."

Referring to a lady in the back room who was hurriedly

putting on her coat, Mr Brilliant expanded,

"Our staff are able to show potential buyers an absolute

wealth of provocatively priced residences in desirable

locations. Delaying a purchase now is very, very foolish."

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/he...ouse_prices.php

Edited by justanewbie

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Brushing aside any suggestion of a downturn in the market,

Marcus Brilliant of Jeremy Leaf Estate Agents, East Finchley

said that he expects record sales this month, next month

and the forthcoming year.

"We have more properties than ever before, fewer buyers

than at any time in our history and fewer sales than any

year since records began. Now is definitely the time to buy."

Expansively gesturing to a six foot high pile of advertising

brochures for several thousand properties he continued,

"Never have we had so much time to devote to less customers.

We are confident that buyers will see the sense in leaping in

to the market quickly before it topples altogether into a

frenzied blood bath. We are urging first time buyers to act

immediately while prices are still at their optimum."

Referring to a lady in the back room who was hurriedly

putting on her coat, Mr Brilliant expanded,

"Our staff are able to show potential buyers an absolute

wealth of provocatively priced residences in desirable

locations. Delaying a purchase now is very, very foolish."

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/he...ouse_prices.php

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Very funny newbie!

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Estate Agent Mr Brillaint:

"The fact that developers are still building new properties all the time means that the market is looking positive. We are not about to encounter the problems we had in the Eighties."

Imagine the headline: "Barratts to halt all house building activity."

Mr Brilliant? More like Mr Dim!

Edited by Sledgehead

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Newsflash:

Barratts, Bovis, McCarthy&Stone, Redrow, Wimpey, Berkely and ******** to halt ALL Residential Development immediately

In a move that sent the Construction & Building Materials sub-index negative for the first time in history, every property developer in the country announced they would cease all residential property development as of 12:00am today.

The announcement was accompanied by a rush for the doors at estate agents up and down the country. A rush that is for the toilet doors.

Estate agents, who have been known to suffer bouts of verbal diarrhoea at the best of times, found themselves fighting over cubicles as their bowels involuntarily voided all contents of their bodies.

Marcus Brillaint of estate agents Jeremy Leaf admitted things were bad, having previously cited the absense of an all-out halt to development as the sign of a "great time to buy".

"You can appreciate the value of a good ensuite at times like this," said Mr Brilliant, determined to put a positive spin on the dire news whilst desperately trying to cram a prolapsed kidney back up his rectum.

Edited by Sledgehead

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East Finchley Herald

Friday 12th August 2005

===============

Police were called today to attend an incident at an Estate Agency

in the borough when a crowd of about three thousand people attempted

to enter the premises.

Asked what had happened, Marcusdown Brilliantine commented,

"Well we had a customer who wanted to view a house."

Further coaxing of Mr Brillaintine ellicited the information that the

three thousand people were house sellers desperate to gain a single

viewing of their property.

"We haven't had a serious customer for six weeks," added the

dishevelled Agent. "It was quite a shock."

Riot squad officers, aided by mounted police, took five hours to

clear the street, seriously hampered by house sellers begging

police officers, "Give us a break, guv. At least have a look.

We'll knock twenty grand off."

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Yeah but, well, but that Mark Brollint, he said he had a big

one an' I believed 'im an' so did Marcie Wallbanger, but

when we got 'im behind the chip shop we couldn't find it

and had to sit on his finger instead, the liar !

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Yeah but, well, but that Mark Brollint, he said he had a big

one an' I believed 'im an' so did Marcie Wallbanger, but

when we got 'im behind the chip shop we couldn't find it

and had to sit on his finger instead, the liar !

disgusting, but well informed

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Estate Agent Mr Brillaint:

Imagine the headline: "Barratts to halt all house building activity."

Mr Brilliant? More like Mr Dim!

...are they employing th Mr.Men now???

that's a new one!!...Mr Tickle can subtly remove all the SSTC signs that have been springing up,While Mr Smelly can keep talking bullsh1t and stink the room out.

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well, at least we are now dealing with facts rather than speculation and arguments.

though its going to take at least 5 years to settle back down to normal prices. with the government and VIs fighting it all the way. tozzers.

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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