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Classic Comments....

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Post any funny quotes from other sources here for the amusement of all.

From the expats forum:

After cutting the price on our house by £25,000 to get the sale the movements on FX in the last 3-4 months have cost us another £20,000.  I'd be crying into my beer but I can't afford to buy it anymore.
We are on our third agent but at least we are starting to see some movement now, Hopefully may have an offer this week at the full asking price we have it at now, but that is still 11% down from our initial price.
our viewers come round, love it to bits, cant wait to come back for second viewing and then proceed to drop off the planet!!! whats that all about then??? are they too terrified to tell us they dont like it, race out the front door and speed off without looking back?!!??!
I'm sure you will hear something soon bridie

there is so many houses up for sale (well around here anyway) and there is still people buying but they have such a huge choice now it just takes the right one to walk through your door

if you don't get offers don't worry it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your house just there is so much competition out there...well i'll just keep telling myself that any way

We hadnt thought of ebay, any ideas of costs? We had looked a little into the Loot as I do know someone who bought out of there, and also considered the classifieds on this site??

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Quote Ladyluck (SingingPig)

"£910 rent a month - on a 250k property your landlord will be laughing all the way to the bank!! "

I thought this was pretty funny. It showed me just how much money people like her must be losing if they think this is a good deal for the landlord.

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Quote Ladyluck (SingingPig)

"£910 rent a month - on a 250k property your landlord will be laughing all the way to the bank!! "

I thought this was pretty funny. It showed me just how much money people like her must be losing if they think this is a good deal for the landlord.

Depends how much the landlord bought it for.

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If you are desperate to sell like we are then why not try the following, it cannot be any worse than what the so called "Estate Agents" are doing for us all.

Find yourself a red envelope and put the following in;

A piece of metal from the kitchen

Some earth from your garden

A piece of wood from your skirting board

Then throw the lot into a fast moving river.

Anything is worth a go at the moment.

Let us know how you get on.

:)

I can vouch for this, as I have done it and its worked. We were trying to sell our house for over a year, did the above and got an offer for full asking price within 2 days.

A friend of mine is a qualified practitioner as gave us the advice.

A few important points:

- Take a "small" piece of wood, masonry or metal from kitchen - you don'y need to throw the kitchen sink in! - but is must be part of the kitchen

- Put in red envelop & seal

- You must throw the envelop into a river "upstream" of the property, preferably during a full moon

This symbolises to all that the house is for sale and sends positive energy to potential buyers...

:lol::lol::lol:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=317075

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I can vouch for this, as I have done it and its worked. We were trying to sell our house for over a year, did the above and got an offer for full asking price within 2 days.

A friend of mine is a qualified practitioner as gave us the advice.

A few important points:

- Take a "small" piece of wood, masonry or metal from kitchen - you don'y need to throw the kitchen sink in! - but is must be part of the kitchen

- Put in red envelop & seal

- You must throw the envelop into a river "upstream" of the property, preferably during a full moon

This symbolises to all that the house is for sale and sends positive energy to potential buyers...

:huh: Throwing it in upstream? are all these buyers scuba divers then or fish ? :blink::lol::lol:

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Nope.

The magic figure is 4.37 % return.

Which is crap.

So if the landlord bought it for 120K in say 1997 has a measly £300 a month mortgage (for arguments sake) and is getting £910 per month thats crap? :blink:

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fed up renting,

LOL, alterntaively if you want to make it big real quick -

- Take a "small" writing implement, it must be made of cheap plastic with a chewed end

- Pop down the local EA's/IFA

-Sign up for a bunch of BTL's at the top of the biggest debt bubble in history

- All you need to do now is NOTHING, just sit there and wait for your future to get flushed down the bog as economic reality sets in.

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So if the landlord bought it for 120K in say 1997 has a measly £300 a month mortgage (for arguments sake) and is getting £910 per month thats crap?

It's barely more than they'd get by selling the place and putting the profit in a deposit account (possibly _less_, depending on how much of the cost of the house they've paid off, if any). Why take the hassle of dealing with maintenance and tenants for a few quid a month?

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Classic!

If you are desperate to sell like we are then why not try the following, it cannot be any worse than what the so called "Estate Agents" are doing for us all.

Find yourself a red envelope and put the following in;

A piece of metal from the kitchen

Some earth from your garden

A piece of wood from your skirting board

Then throw the lot into a fast moving river.

Anything is worth a go at the moment.

:lol::D:lol::D

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So if the landlord bought it for 120K in say 1997 has a measly £300 a month mortgage (for arguments sake) and is getting £910 per month thats crap?  :blink:

That's £610 a month, from which you have to take out maintenance and other costs, plus the hassle of running the property. Plus, you have the risk of voids and the risk that the price might fall and you will lose a lot of the capital value.

If the LL sells now and gets 250k, suppose they end up with 150k equity. Interest on this will net them £500 a month after tax in a cash account. No hassle, no costs, no risk of voids and most importantly of all no capital risk.

Compared with the £610 and all the downsides, I'd take the cash.

So yes, it is a poor return, unless you are very bullish on the value of the property.

frugalista

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It's barely more than they'd get by selling the place and putting the profit in a deposit account (possibly _less_, depending on how much of the cost of the house they've paid off, if any). Why take the hassle of dealing with maintenance and tenants for a few quid a month?

Good point and I whole heartedly agree. Didn't think about that! :P

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Guest Bart of Darkness
Then throw the lot into a fast moving river.

And then jump in after it!

Reduce the number of morons on the planet by 1!

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Ref Workmate.

Him: Prices will go down but they wont crash.

Me: How far do you reckon about -30% yea.

Him: Yea that sounds about right, wont crash though because there is to much money in housing.

Me: Yea i suppose it will be ok if people with the money only lose about 30%

Him: Yea

Me: ill be back in a minute i just need to sort something out.

THIS is what i have to work with day in day out, what is wrong with people.

EDITED:

Wont crash because there is to much money in housing.

Losing 30% does not constitute a crash by any means, its "a bit off"

Edited by theChuz

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Ref Workmate.

Him: Prices will go down but they wont crash.

Me:  How far do you reckon about -30% yea.

Him: Yea that sounds about right, wont crash though because there is to much money in housing.

Me: Yea i suppose it will be ok if people with the money only lose about 30%

Him: Yea

Me: ill be back in a minute i just need to sort something out.

THIS is what i have to work with day in day out, what is wrong with people.

EDITED:

Wont crash because there is to much money in housing.

Losing 30% does not constitute a crash by any means, its "a bit off"

You need to relate it to him directly. Ask him whether he thinks his house will fall from 300k to £210k (or whatever) and whether that's a crash

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You need to relate it to him directly. Ask him whether he thinks his house will fall from 300k to £210k (or whatever) and whether that's a crash

Oh i have done but i think big numbers confuse him but even when i say things like

Me:

"it would be like you having a hundred pounds and me taking 30 pounds away from you for nothing"

Him:

"bah its only 30 quid, we make more than that in 2 hours"

Me: Can i have £30 then

Him: *Puzzled look* no i havnt got my wallet

Me: you miss the point, imagine if it was 100,000 pounds and i took 30,000 pounds

Him: yea so ? i would still have 70,000 pounds, i tell you what you give me 70,000 and ill give you 30,000

Me: why?

Him: phroar look at them t*ts.

His house will fall in value but the others will fall more, but nothing like a crash. He knows this because he is moving next year.

The other day i shown him the front page to HPC, and just for a second when he seen all the little red arrows pointing downwards i noticed his low-brow raised as he squinted.

But he read in the paper that blah blah blah.

Im getting so annoyed with dealing with morons, ive got all the time in the world for people who want to learn but now ive got no patience with people that refuse to think for themselves anymore.

I could carry this on as a massive rant but i wont :lol:

EDITED:

Its a shame it cant be taught in school somehow - Sit down and f*ckin think for yourselves.

Edited by theChuz

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'Its a shame it cant be taught in school somehow - Sit down and f*ckin think for yourselves.'

The authorities will not and must not allow people to think for themselves hence the need for government sponsored education for the masses.

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Oh i have done but i think big numbers confuse him but even when i say things like

Me:

"it would be like you having a hundred pounds and me taking 30 pounds away from you for nothing"

Him:

"bah its only 30 quid, we make more than that in 2 hours"

Me: Can i have £30 then

Him: *Puzzled look* no i havnt got my wallet

Me: you miss the point, imagine if it was 100,000 pounds and i took 30,000 pounds

Him: yea so ? i would still have 70,000 pounds, i tell you what you give me 70,000 and ill give you 30,000

Me: why?

Him: phroar look at them t*ts.

His house will fall in value but the others will fall more, but nothing like a crash. He knows this because he is moving next year.

The other day i shown him the front page to HPC, and just for a second when he seen all the little red arrows pointing downwards i noticed his low-brow raised as he squinted.

But he read in the paper that blah blah blah.

Im getting so annoyed with dealing with morons, ive got all the time in the world for people who want to learn but now ive got no patience with people that refuse to think for themselves anymore.

I could carry this on as a massive rant but i wont  :lol:

EDITED:

Its a shame it cant be taught in school somehow - Sit down and f*ckin think for yourselves.

Forget Big Brother - this is where reality TV is!

Maybe you should have got some crayons and some scrap paper?

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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