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What's Your Favourite Smell ?


monty1080

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And the aroma of a whelk stall outside a south London pub on a hot Saturday afternoon, which hadn't yet been mentioned.

I'll raise your whelks just a little. On the Sunseeker side of Poole Quay one often finds a small mountain of 56lb sacks of week old whelks - destined for crabber's pot baits.

The smell in summer could fell the Twin Towers.

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Guest X-QUORK

The smell in summer could fell the Twin Towers.

Umm...Juvey, I've been meaning to have a chat with you about the Twin Towers, I'm afraid it's bad news...

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Speaking of nasty farts I had a mate of mine who was banned from my house if he had been on the ale the night before. This man used to drop the most eye watering, projectile vomit inducing guffs I have ever had the misfortune to smell. It came to a head one day after I walked into the living room to find the paint peeling off the walls, the cat dead, the flowers wilted and my wife attempting to drag herself towards the window muttering "The horror, the horror" while he sat there with a satisfied look and waving his hand in front of his face.

I exaggerate of course but they really were bad and he really was banned.

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Speaking of nasty farts I had a mate of mine who was banned from my house if he had been on the ale the night before. This man used to drop the most eye watering, projectile vomit inducing guffs I have ever had the misfortune to smell. It came to a head one day after I walked into the living room to find the paint peeling off the walls, the cat dead, the flowers wilted and my wife attempting to drag herself towards the window muttering "The horror, the horror" while he sat there with a satisfied look and waving his hand in front of his face.

I exaggerate of course but they really were bad and he really was banned.

I'll raise that a little more, I used to know a bloke who had necrotic bowel syndrome. His guts were basically rotting away (he is better now ,so happy days). The upshot of this condition was that he farted maybe once every couple of days. I kid you not, I have never gagged from a fart before, but Jesus the smell of those farts gave truth to the phrase '...something's crawled up your a4se and died'. It was the most disgusting smell I have ever had the misfortune to experience. It was a base note of rotting flesh with mid notes of shit and upper notes of fetid week old milk.

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I'll raise that a little more, I used to know a bloke who had necrotic bowel syndrome. His guts were basically rotting away (he is better now ,so happy days). The upshot of this condition was that he farted maybe once every couple of days. I kid you not, I have never gagged from a fart before, but Jesus the smell of those farts gave truth to the phrase '...something's crawled up your a4se and died'. It was the most disgusting smell I have ever had the misfortune to experience. It was a base note of rotting flesh with mid notes of shit and upper notes of fetid week old milk.

Good Lord! Sounds considerably worse than Broccoli Fart Syndrome (BFS).

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Napalm, at night.

To early for me.

"You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing

else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm

in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for

twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't

find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know

that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like - victory.

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Guest X-QUORK

I'll raise that a little more, I used to know a bloke who had necrotic bowel syndrome. His guts were basically rotting away (he is better now ,so happy days). The upshot of this condition was that he farted maybe once every couple of days. I kid you not, I have never gagged from a fart before, but Jesus the smell of those farts gave truth to the phrase '...something's crawled up your a4se and died'. It was the most disgusting smell I have ever had the misfortune to experience. It was a base note of rotting flesh with mid notes of shit and upper notes of fetid week old milk.

This thread is officially no longer wistfully poetic.

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She is a tune in flight, she is day, she is night,

She is the last of my fight, the truth in my sight ...

... It was a base note of rotting flesh with mid notes of shit and upper notes of fetid week old milk.

... necrotic bowel by Calvin Klein

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Umm...Juvey, I've been meaning to have a chat with you about the Twin Towers, I'm afraid it's bad news...

Dear, oh dear. What a terrible business! I must get out more. I'll cash a few of my Lehmann Bros shares and pop down to Woolies tomorrow.

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Guest AuntJess

It seems to be some sort of blokey routine, that when they get together, the 'fart' and 'poo' jokes come out to play.

Mebbe it is a resistance to joining in a poetic sorta thread, a hedge agin anyone thinking that they are cissy.cool.gif

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Speaking of nasty farts I had a mate of mine who was banned from my house if he had been on the ale the night before. This man used to drop the most eye watering, projectile vomit inducing guffs I have ever had the misfortune to smell. It came to a head one day after I walked into the living room to find the paint peeling off the walls, the cat dead, the flowers wilted and my wife attempting to drag herself towards the window muttering "The horror, the horror" while he sat there with a satisfied look and waving his hand in front of his face.

I exaggerate of course but they really were bad and he really was banned.

No dog to blame it on?

Mind you, I could always tell when anyone blamed it on our dog.

Hers had a 'bouquet' all their own.

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Guest AuntJess

- I love the smell of nail varnish - it's enough to make me consider cross-dressing but I get my fix by doing my wife's nails for her.

- I love the smell of ceramic brakes when a car has just come off circuit.

- I love that smell that 2-stroke motorcycles used to make a few year back (Castrol R? was it?)

- Brandy

Buckers

Did you like pear-drops sweets as a kid?huh.gif

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Guest AuntJess

The smell of the stuff I pick out from between my toes. And it tastes good - all chewy and, well, mmmm ... such protein. Sweaty bottoms as well - not just my own. Can't beat a sweaty bottom. Mmmm ...

I do wash and associate with other human beings.

Hmmm. Some of us are more similar to our simian cousins than others.......

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Guest AuntJess

Latikea tobacco?

They do some nice flavours in that shop in the royal exchange in Manc.

smells:

vanilla.

new books.

Ooh! me too! I had forgotten that one.biggrin.gif

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