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brassed off brit

Recession Hits Gadget Freaks

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THE Apple Tw@tPhone has topped the list of items owned by tw@ts, it has been confirmed.

Tw@t organisation Tw@t Brand Analysis polled its database of tw@ts to discover which tw@t accessory was this year's ultimate in tw@t.

A spokesman said: "Aston Martin topped the tw@t poll for three years with tw@ts who don't actually own one but, because they're tw@ts, think it would be cool if they did. It is the very essence of tw@t.

"However, the recession has down-scaled aspirational tw@thood, making tw@ts covet the sort of affordable gadgets that helps them constantly update and redefine the type of tw@t they want to be."

He added: "The Tw@tPhone enables them by being at the very tw@tting-edge of new tw@tology."

Other leading tw@t brands include Rolex, Dom Perignon and Ferrari, suggesting that many tw@ts think they are living in a Jay Z video instead of a 12 year-old Barrat estate on the outskirts of Reading.

But the top 10 was once again dominated by tw@tology brands such as Nintendo, YouTube, BlackBerry and Bang & Olufsen, confirming that people who care about things like brands actually have few real friends and very little to do except sit at home in the dark watching the light flickering across a dozen sad little screens.

The Tw@tPhone was released in 2007 as the ultimate accessory for people who need a personal organiser and mp3 player that is also a camera, a games console and a really bad phone.

Hatfield-based tw@t Charlie Reeves, said: "I work in the claims department at Direct Line and live in a very small flat above a key-cutting shop.

"How else am I supposed to pretend that I'm really Tom Cruise in Minority Report? You tell me."

Hope this brings a little joy to your lives! taken from the mash!

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