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Reck B

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

Are you slim yourself?

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

Tricky... an age old problem that has perplexed the male sex down the ages.

I dont think an answer has been found.

My best suggestion is that you use subtle psychological trickery: An open discussion is unlikely to end well.

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Find a charity fun run. There are loads. Choose a children's charity that new mothers can relate to. Have a look at Barnardos or Great Ormond Street for example. You and your wife can train together and enter the run. You'll both get/stay fit, you'll both be supporting each other and spending time together and you'll both be doing something to help a worthy cause.

....much more constructive then telling her she's out of shape.

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1# Chance across a old picture

2# Remark that she looks so slim in it as if you only just noticed

3# Have a light hearted chat about it

4# Ask if she would like to look that way again (she will of course say yes)

5# Leave it be

6# Some time later go back to her and ask what the plan is to get back in shape like we where talking about earlier

7# Act like a motivator for her plan, NOT as a grumbler who is unhappy

8# Keep on with the motivation as if your working for her goals, not yours

NB 1:At no point suggest that you even thought about this for a moment until you 'chanced across the old picture'

NB 2: Cross your figures and pray.

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Yes, ripped to the tits.

If you can't be accused of hypocrisy, which it sounds like you wont be in this situation, I would just have a straightforward and honest discussion. My very slim (except for the fact she is 7 months pregnant) other half has no problem telling me if she thinks I am getting a bit heavy, and so I will be within my rights to do the same if she puts on weight later on.

If you are in to fitness, you should be able to put together a good routine for her that will only take 30 mins a day which will start to get results in less than a few weeks.

I dont see the point in hanging around while she gets bigger to find the right moment, it will just mean she has more work to do to get rid of it.

ps - You should be sure she is not pregnant again, could this be a reason for weight gain?

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Guest P-Diddly
Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

You need to accept that it's going to be like hanging out of a Route Master bus on a warm afternoon from now on old son.

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

I take it you are more than willing to babysit whilst she gets some exercise? If it's not something you can do, then any discussion is likely to fall at the first hurdle.

Anyway, possible options.

Family walks instigated by you could be a good starting point.

Mysterious car breakdowns :rolleyes:

Book her a massage as a 'treat'. Having a complete stranger wobble her wobbly bits might repulse her enough to do something about them.

Buy her a nice piece of clothing for Xmas in her 'old' size, that she then has to take back for a bigger one.

Above all, if she does start to do something about it, tell her how good it makes her look!

Edit: to add some more

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

Forward planning is the key.

My missus and I have an agreement that extra-marital sex(but not lovers) is permitted should one of us remain >5kg over our weight when we met for more than 6 months with no good reason. 7-8 months recovery allowed post-pregnancy or post illness(should an illness occur).

This provides excellent motivation for both of us, as we're both a touch jealous.

You may find it a little tricky to negotiate this kind of agreement from the position you are in now, however....

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Guest P-Diddly
Forward planning is the key.

My missus and I have an agreement that extra-marital sex(but not lovers) is permitted should one of us remain >5kg over our weight when we met for more than 6 months with no good reason. 7-8 months recovery allowed post-pregnancy or post illness(should an illness occur).

This provides excellent motivation for both of us, as we're both a touch jealous.

You may find it a little tricky to negotiate this kind of agreement from the position you are in now, however....

She's been at the cream donuts again then? :P

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I take it you are more than willing to babysit whilst she gets some exercise? If it's not something you can do, then any discussion is likely to fall at the first hurdle.

Very true OP, if your missus had got any chance of going down the gym/yoga or whatever, it'll be on the weekend while you look after the little 'un for a few hours. My missus does this while I babysit for three bloody hours on a Saturday afternoon. Still, it's a small price to pay to ensure she doesn't turn into a heifer.

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Forward planning is the key.

My missus and I have an agreement that extra-marital sex(but not lovers) is permitted should one of us remain >5kg over our weight when we met for more than 6 months with no good reason.

Well why not just put on a beer belly and then start screwing around? sounds like a win-win to me. Extra beer and Birds.

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If you can't be accused of hypocrisy, which it sounds like you wont be in this situation, I would just have a straightforward and honest discussion. My very slim (except for the fact she is 7 months pregnant) other half has no problem telling me if she thinks I am getting a bit heavy, and so I will be within my rights to do the same if she puts on weight later on.

If you are in to fitness, you should be able to put together a good routine for her that will only take 30 mins a day which will start to get results in less than a few weeks.

I dont see the point in hanging around while she gets bigger to find the right moment, it will just mean she has more work to do to get rid of it.

ps - You should be sure she is not pregnant again, could this be a reason for weight gain?

If she is it wouldn't be mine... :blink:

I think part of the problem is the demanding nature of motherhood (for which i love her to bits for) makes her tired and going for a jog is the last thing she feels like when I get home and take over.

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I take it you are more than willing to babysit whilst she gets some exercise? If it's not something you can do, then any discussion is likely to fall at the first hurdle.

Anyway, possible options.

Family walks instigated by you could be a good starting point.

Mysterious car breakdowns :rolleyes:

Book her a massage as a 'treat'. Having a complete stranger wobble her wobbly bits might repulse her enough to do something about them.

Buy her a nice piece of clothing for Xmas in her 'old' size, that she then has to take back for a bigger one.

Above all, if she does start to do something about it, tell her how good it makes her look!

Edit: to add some more

Like it.

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Guest X-QUORK
Find a charity fun run. There are loads. Choose a children's charity that new mothers can relate to. Have a look at Barnardos or Great Ormond Street for example. You and your wife can train together and enter the run. You'll both get/stay fit, you'll both be supporting each other and spending time together and you'll both be doing something to help a worthy cause.

....much more constructive then telling her she's out of shape.

Not everyone has a Nanny to dump the sprog on.

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Guest X-QUORK
Forward planning is the key.

My missus and I have an agreement that extra-marital sex(but not lovers) is permitted should one of us remain >5kg over our weight when we met for more than 6 months with no good reason. 7-8 months recovery allowed post-pregnancy or post illness(should an illness occur).

This provides excellent motivation for both of us, as we're both a touch jealous.

Who said romance is dead?

"Right darling, eight months have elapsed since the birth of our daughter and you're still 5.26kg heavier than we first met. You'll be in the spare room tonight as I'll be banging a hooker in ours...problems?"

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Who said romance is dead?

"Right darling, eight months have elapsed since the birth of our daughter and you're still 5.26kg heavier than we first met. You'll be in the spare room tonight as I'll be banging a hooker in ours...problems?"

Romance is :

'Of course, you're welcome to stay and join in.'

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Since having our first child, mrs breck started getting back into shape fairly quickly and was nearing her pre-pregnancy size within about 4 months. Then put it back on again....

How do I get her to get back into shape without hurting her feelings? or should I just say, "look love, get your fat **** down the gym, I can't bear to look at your wobbly stomach any more."

Buy her a 'speak your weight' machine that says 'one at a time please'.

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Who said romance is dead?

"Right darling, eight months have elapsed since the birth of our daughter and you're still 5.26kg heavier than we first met. You'll be in the spare room tonight as I'll be banging a hooker in ours...problems?"

Nice one Quorky, you don't mind if I nick that? I've been racking my brain to come up with an opening gambit that is both tactful and effective.

The missus is in for a treat tonight.

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Nice one Quorky, you don't mind if I nick that? I've been racking my brain to come up with an opening gambit that is both tactful and effective.

The missus is in for a treat tonight.

I've lost 7kg this year,about 15 1/2 pounds.Swimming seems to be the thing and it quickly increases your fitness too.I joined the local gym and have built up to 100 lengths a day (2km) the nice thing is you don't get hot and sweaty either and I reckon it's improved my sleep quality too.You do have to be careful about diet but that is just a matter of being sensible e.g. having chips once a week.

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Guest P-Diddly
I've lost 7kg this year,about 15 1/2 pounds.Swimming seems to be the thing and it quickly increases your fitness too.I joined the local gym and have built up to 100 lengths a day (2km) the nice thing is you don't get hot and sweaty either and I reckon it's improved my sleep quality too.You do have to be careful about diet but that is just a matter of being sensible e.g. having chips once a week.

60 kgs gone since last October's near death experience.

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