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General Melchett

Why Does Everyone Bugger Off The Forum When I Come On?

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Guest Skinty
Tell me, do. Dont hold back.

The moustache, the vacuous posts, the faint smell of baked beans. We could accept all that if you came from say Surrey or Sussex. But Essex?

You ask too much.

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Has he gone yet? :ph34r:

It's a sunny afternoon Melchy! We're all outside.

I nipped in as I keep forgetting to print out an e-mail.

Good idea.

I shall make tea and go sit outside. No one cares if you fart in the great outdoors.

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A hoarse guttural laugh came from the flier. "Got you that time, Earth dog," the invisible Mercutian taunted. There was silence. Another belt crashed from the ship, heaved the ground under its impact. Another and another. Still no break in the silence, no cry.

The Mercutian muttered to himself: "The dog is dead, all right." He peered out cautiously. The underbrush was black, sullenly quiet. Great swaths showed where the rays had swept the Earth. With a hoarse chuckle the grotesque giant climbed over the side of his ship. A search beam swung in his hand. He was in deep shadow. He swung the beam in a short arc. There was nothing, only matted vegetation. There was one thick thorny bush he noted, however, extending its bulk behind the bow of the ship. He stepped out a bit, away from the flier's shadow, and swung his beam directly at it. The invisible ray pierced through the interlacing twigs with ease. It picked out a prone figure, lying with arm extended.

The Mercutian chuckled again, but the chuckle changed almost immediately to a throaty cry of alarm. With a swiftness that went incongruously with his awkward bulk, his free arm dropped for his hand ray. There was a sharp burst of flame, a staccato bark. The Mercutian staggered, swayed with sullen pain-widened eyes, and pitched headlong forward.

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Tell me, do. Dont hold back.

You are a good bloke even though you do not know that the Red Cross is in Geneve and its in the avenue of "peace"

You think that there are no spices in France which is not true (harissa)

You like mountain bikes which is fine by me

Keep on posting

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And me, I'm living in the cunty of Essex as well.

forkin ell.

thats free of us.

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fancy a pint, Im from Essex.

I would, but I fell of my mountain* bike a fortnight back (silly ***** that I am) and cracked the odd rib. Cant drink and take pills, or I'll turn even more funny peculiar.

*Yes, I know there are no mountains in Essex. I think this makes me a doubly silly c n u t. Did you know the swear filter bleeps out c n u t?

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I would, but I fell of my mountain* bike a fortnight back (silly ***** that I am) and cracked the odd rib. Cant drink and take pills, or I'll turn even more funny peculiar.

*Yes, I know there are no mountains in Essex. I think this makes me a doubly silly c n u t. Did you know the swear filter bleeps out c n u t?

shoulda bin wearin your shellsuit....

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Guest Daddy Bear
> Why Does Everyone Bugger Off The Forum When I Come On?

I seem to be similarly afflicted - can't think why?

:(

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