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Move Over, Darling – Preferably Right Into The Other Bedroom

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http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_an...icle6832124.ece

There is a point in every relationship when the sheer, unadulterated joy of sleeping intertwined in the lithesome limbs of your gorgeous lover vanishes for ever. This is usually about the same time that your gorgeous lover starts wearing earplugs and an eye mask, becomes entirely unreasonable about who gets which pillow and can no longer understand that duvets are meant to be shared. Horlicks might also have something to do with it.

Last week, the British Science Festival (imagine Glastonbury without the rock stars, the drugs or much dancing) grappled with the issue of the shared marital bed and concluded that it was a terrible idea.

Dr Neil Stanley, a sleep specialist from Surrey University, pointed out to the wide-eyed that bed-sharing came about only in the Industrial Revolution when overcrowding forced couples to sleep together. Before that, husbands and wives routinely kept separate quarters and none of them presumably argued about duvets. The Romans used the marital bed only for bonking. But how times have changed. One recent study showed that, on average, couples suffer 50% more sleep disturbances if they share a bed.

Stanley doesn’t sleep with his wife and, frankly, I’m with him. I have a wife who insists on sleeping in a starfish shape with more supportive pillows than a fluey Hyacinth Bucket. She also land-grabs like a Hapsburg duke. If I retreat more to my side, she immediately shifts up. If I move again, she nicks that space too. By the small hours, I can be found teetering on the edge of the mattress, and when I confront her about it (at least we still talk), she claims it’s because she wants to be close to me. This is a lie. She just wants more space for her starfish.

We solved this problem initially by buying an enormous bed. It was called the Emperor, which I felt was a gratuitously intimidating name for a bed but it did at least enable a starfish and a snorer (did I not mention I’m not the ideal bed partner either?) to pass the night in relative bliss. But then came children and the frequent need for them to be in the bed with us. So I started sleeping in the spare room.

Amazing. I can do what I want, within reason. She can behave like any ocean-based creature she chooses. At first, it was merely a trial separation, born out of necessity: I needed to sleep, she needed to breastfeed. But now the kids are retreating to their own beds (they’ve had enough of the duvet wars as well). And we are running out of excuses. Soon, we will have to admit that we are a couple in our thirties, blissfully married, who prefer to sleep in separate rooms.

Friends we have let into our dirty little secret are appalled. They assume our marriage must be loveless, but we’re actually following a European tradition set by her parents. My father-in-law’s endearing nickname for my mother-in-law is “Funitaâ€. This means “heavy snorer†in Czech. I don’t know how he gets away with it but it’s almost certainly something to do with the fact that for years they, too, have slept in separate rooms. They are well rested. They still like each other. Their marriage can survive pet names like Funita. This must be the reason Europeans divorce far less than we do.

“It’s about what makes you happy,†Stanley explains. “If you’ve been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don’t change, but don’t be afraid to do something different. We all know what it’s like to have a cuddle and then say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?â€

So we have the industrial revolution to thank for having to sleep together all the time.

Just think what this would mean to house prices if this took off, larger houses would be more desirable so you could escape your partner.

How many on here would like to sleep in separate rooms? Or maybe houses??

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http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_an...icle6832124.ece

So we have the industrial revolution to thank for having to sleep together all the time.

Just think what this would mean to house prices if this took off, larger houses would be more desirable so you could escape your partner.

How many on here would like to sleep in separate rooms? Or maybe houses??

My partner and I have seperate rooms - losing the living room in a one bed flat. Will never go back to sharing the same bedroom if we can avoid it.

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I cant get the spare room door open. The problem seems to be all the shoes, handbags etc on the other side.

Advice, please?

Dispose of everything you haven't worn at least three times in the past year. ;)

As you thin out your outfits, I believe the handbag situation will clarify itself.

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I cant get the spare room door open. The problem seems to be all the shoes, handbags etc on the other side.

Advice, please?

You are a tranvestite.

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I cant get the spare room door open. The problem seems to be all the shoes, handbags etc on the other side.

Advice, please?

It's a simple solution, when you shop ignore the labels, try the clothes on and ensure they fit prior to purchase ;)

If the handbags and shoes dont match buy some that do :P

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My misses goes to bed at 9.00 each night, I lie on the sofa drinking scotch and surfing the net till 2.00.

I then go to bed snore and generate lots of heat, (my liver decomposing I suppose).

We both get up at 7.00, 5 hours sleep each a night, simples.

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