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Dubai

The Birds And The Bees

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Since I've been on this forum I have come across plenty of folk with a "common sense" head on their shoulders and experience to boot. So I'm seeking your advice.

I need to ask a question which may sound daft, but advice would be appreciated.

At what sort of age should you discuss "the birds and the bees" with children?

On the one hand, I'd like them to enjoy their childhood without being burdened with the sordid facts of life! And on the other, I'd like them to understand the possible consequences of keen curiosity and kiss-chase!

After reading stories of 11 year old pregnant girls, I have a feeling things need to be hurried along these days!

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Aww... come on! There must be some wise Parents on the forum! Surely you're not all single "Never Want Kids" types!!

It's a genuine question.... honest!

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Since I've been on this forum I have come across plenty of folk with a "common sense" head on their shoulders and experience to boot. So I'm seeking your advice.

I need to ask a question which may sound daft, but advice would be appreciated.

At what sort of age should you discuss "the birds and the bees" with children?

On the one hand, I'd like them to enjoy their childhood without being burdened with the sordid facts of life! And on the other, I'd like them to understand the possible consequences of keen curiosity and kiss-chase!

After reading stories of 11 year old pregnant girls, I have a feeling things need to be hurried along these days!

I suggest a first step is to find out when/how your children's school starts to address the subject and then decide whether you wish to vary/add to this. Well run schools are quite good at it, and have a lot more experience - whereas its your first time. This is not to say your own judgement is irrelevant, merely that they may offer some sound practical advice. In particular they will hopefully be able to advise how to discuss the topic at earlier ages while retaining the enjoyment of childhood. Its as much how you discuss it as when IMO.

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Guest X-QUORK
I suggest a first step is to find out when/how your children's school starts to address the subject and then decide whether you wish to vary/add to this. Well run schools are quite good at it, and have a lot more experience - whereas its your first time. This is not to say your own judgement is irrelevant, merely that they may offer some sound practical advice. In particular they will hopefully be able to advise how to discuss the topic at earlier ages while retaining the enjoyment of childhood. Its as much how you discuss it as when IMO.

Seems like sensible advice to me. Most kids find out about the facts of life through whispers in the playground and might find it uncomfortable if their parents try to explain. I'd say that it's important to let them know they can always ask any questions on the subject and leave it at that unless you have particular concerns.

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Seems like sensible advice to me. Most kids find out about the facts of life through whispers in the playground and might find it uncomfortable if their parents try to explain. I'd say that it's important to let them know they can always ask any questions on the subject and leave it at that unless you have particular concerns.

+1

I agreethat its not the facts of life that are really the problem. Its the emotional aspects, peer pressure, and other influences that confuse children about how they should behave in relation to the 'facts'. Its the delicate balance between offering support and not interfering, and still helping them come through feeling good about themselves, and in the eyes of their classmates.

I think most parental worries are best covered by developing general character, self-confidence and some assertiveness in children. Of course there are specifics of a more medical nature that are important too.

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Seems like sensible advice to me. Most kids find out about the facts of life through whispers in the playground and might find it uncomfortable if their parents try to explain. I'd say that it's important to let them know they can always ask any questions on the subject and leave it at that unless you have particular concerns.

Agree with this. I think kids will only find out about this sort of stuff earlier and earlier with the advent of internet porn, which whilst it has its advantages for us adults, it does risk the youngsters losing their innocence earlier than you would really want.

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Thanks all for the very good advice.

I'll only bring it up if asked directly! Phew!

Slightly OT, but semi related funny story. A friend of a friends kid (about 3 years old) said to her mum after she had given birth to her little sister (thats the mum that gave birth BTW) "Mummy, has your vagina gone back to normal yet?" In front of strangers to make it doubly embarrasing.

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Slightly OT, but semi related funny story. A friend of a friends kid (about 3 years old) said to her mum after she had given birth to her little sister (thats the mum that gave birth BTW) "Mummy, has your vagina gone back to normal yet?" In front of strangers to make it doubly embarrasing.

I have a true story almost identical to this. The roomful of neighbours at a coffee morning, with the 6 year old holding forth (at top volume) on Mummy and Daddy enjoying having sex . The 'Mummy' in question said to me she wished the earth could have opened up and swallowed her.

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"Mummy, has your vagina gone back to normal yet?"

"No dear, your father tells me it's like a wizard's sleeve."

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Guest Skinty
"No dear, your father tells me it's like a wizard's sleeve."

Cue comments at school about Mummy's vagina and Harry Potter just before social services pay a visit ...

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Guest absolutezero

Wait until they ask you questions and keep it simple.

They'll tottle off and come back with more questions and you de-simplify.

eg. First time: "Daddy planted a seed inside Mummy". That may be enough.

When they come back with another question having thought about that, give them the next answer, and so-on.

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If you have a daughter. Never mention the subject - EVER. Don't you know anything?

If you have a son - it is only permissible to discuss it AFTER he gets laid, and then only in general terms and NEVER refer to finding any woman remotely attractive if she's under 35. You've seen American Pie haven't you? :rolleyes:

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