200p Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Government money wasting exercise number: 8766754976655432 LOGGED http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/1...catching-a-bus/ A schoolboy gained a qualification for getting on a bus - despite not knowing he had taken the test. Bobby McHale, 15, received a letter from an exam board recognising his ability to walk to the bus stop, wait for it to arrive and to board the vehicle Buy ****, you know it makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DementedTuna Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) Sensationalist drivel. The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught. There's a full list here, which includes a lot of basic stuff: http://web.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/life.php Awarding certificates such as these is a good way to bolster their self-confidence. It's good tabloid fodder because the majority will default to Daily Mail Rage mode before thinking about it for a few seconds... as evidenced by the comments underneath that article. Sloppy journalism though, they could have made a much better story out of the "video evidence required" part of the "dressing and undressing" qualification. Edited August 15, 2009 by DementedTuna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InternationalRockSuperstar Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilroy Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Government money wasting exercise number: 8766754976655432LOGGED http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/1...catching-a-bus/ A schoolboy gained a qualification for getting on a bus - despite not knowing he had taken the test. Bobby McHale, 15, received a letter from an exam board recognising his ability to walk to the bus stop, wait for it to arrive and to board the vehicle Buy ****, you know it makes sense. I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahBell Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 They should prinbt them on cereal boxes. Collect all 40 and you get a medal too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DementedTuna Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please? Sure, print as many copies as you need: http://store.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/pdf/LS8304.PDF Edited August 15, 2009 by DementedTuna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) I query the need for an examination board, course syllabus etc, and all the paraphernalia that comes with it. Why not just teach them to catch a bus, and pat them on the back and say well done with it? The satisfaction and confidence comes when such students can repeatedly carry such tasks on their own, and not necessarily need to be verified by an external examiner and recorded on a certified piece of paper. I have forgotten the exponential costs, and the obvious plethora of employment such schemes create. Surely a sign of the froth of the economic miracle? I am not qualified to criticize the government by the way. I am waiting for my NVQ3 in Quantitative and Qualitive Pass in Government policy analysis Part 4B. I don't read the normally The (vile) Express by the way! Edited August 15, 2009 by Pseudo Lord Sandwich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please? May I direct you to some directed further reading, by Tommy Toilet before you attempt the exam? [1 mark for writing your name on the exam paper, not toilet paper] Edited August 15, 2009 by Pseudo Lord Sandwich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sillybear2 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught. Can we get Alan Duncan to take this test? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sillybear2 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please? Sure, the BoE decided to print an additional 50 billion of them just last week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNACR Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Sure, print as many copies as you need: http://store.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/pdf/LS8304.PDF You've gotta be sh1ttin me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Don't take the piss. Or the bus for that matter (unless you are qualified). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sillybear2 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) Sure, print as many copies as you need: http://store.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/pdf/LS8304.PDF It's a shame Travelodge doesn't hire recruits with such qualifications. Either that or the college is running a thinly veiled slave labour scheme. Edited August 15, 2009 by sillybear2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammo Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 (edited) Is it bad to admit to once having not succesfully having caught a bus I flunked, I was left to the elements, school had to wait, I was wayside, forgotten, lost to the big bad world with no qualification, no hope, no excuse. That warped me. I was the black sheep, the disillusioned. Much more of that shit and I could have ended up becoming a goth or something. Edit: or even worse, I could have turned out emo.. Edited August 15, 2009 by jammo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Loo Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 nulab have all been awarded the...I can truly ****** an economy badge. Mervyn King received the bronze badge because he hides his face from the public, whereas those who are "on the program" receive the full gold badge. Biddy Baxter, the brains behind the idea said it encouraged imbeciles to perform and be confident in their ********. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no-way Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 i have got to be honest the last couple of evening courses i have done, basic web design and computer maintenence i dont think i could of failed if i tried and on the computer maintenence course the mock test that we were given was exactly the same as the real final exam! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Loo Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 MP, Ima RichBuker, said he applauded the scheme and considered it a qualification worth getting, as he didnt even know what a bus was, or did. "public transport? what the hells that? sounds like something obscure, not for everyday folk, just getting on with the job, like me" said the MP from cunthorpe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 i have got to be honestthe last couple of evening courses i have done, basic web design and computer maintenence i dont think i could of failed if i tried and on the computer maintenence course the mock test that we were given was exactly the same as the real final exam! Makes you wonder if some parties have a vested interest dunnit. How could anyone profit from such a thing?? Hmmm, would a course provider get more funding from failing it's students??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 MP, Ima RichBuker, said he applauded the scheme and considered it a qualification worth getting, as he didnt even know what a bus was, or did."public transport? what the hells that? sounds like something obscure, not for everyday folk, just getting on with the job, like me" said the MP from cunthorpe. seriously though, there's no such place as cunthorpe, is there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted August 16, 2009 Author Share Posted August 16, 2009 seriously though, there's no such place as cunthorpe, is there? You need to enrol on my UK Place Names A-Z course, limited spaces, only £499.99, plus £99.99 non refundable admin fee. Don't let your gremlins hold you back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tim123 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Sensationalist drivel.The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught. There's a full list here, which includes a lot of basic stuff: http://web.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/life.php Awarding certificates such as these is a good way to bolster their self-confidence. It's good tabloid fodder because the majority will default to Daily Mail Rage mode before thinking about it for a few seconds... Actually I did I thought that this looked like a certificate that might be reasonably be given to a mentally disabled person. And concluded that as the item didn't say this, that the individual did NOT suffer from this disability tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scuuzeme Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 To be fair, an exam for kids in how to catch a bus and not p!ss the whole bus off with their behavior would be quite a good thing. Perhaps Boris could could make it a prerequisite for free travel for the under 16's? It would certainly create some more public sector non-jobs I hereby apply for the post of "Catching a bus ability coordinator for Greater London" at a salary of 200k PA plus bonuses and platinum plated pension. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trampa501 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I'm afraid a large proportion of the population where I live could make use of such a course. Why is it so difficult for some people to ask for "a single to X" or a "return to Y?". Many a time the bus is delayed by people who need to ask complicated questions of the driver eg "If I return after 6 from Banbury Road is there a connecting service that passes by the hospital etc etc etc..." :angry: :angry: :angry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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