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Empty Cv In The Recession? Fear Not, Get A Qualification In How To

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Government money wasting exercise number: 8766754976655432

LOGGED

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/1...catching-a-bus/

A schoolboy gained a qualification for getting on a bus - despite not knowing he had taken the test.

Bobby McHale, 15, received a letter from an exam board recognising his ability to walk to the bus stop, wait for it to arrive and to board the vehicle

Buy ****, you know it makes sense.

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Sensationalist drivel.

The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught.

There's a full list here, which includes a lot of basic stuff: http://web.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/life.php

Awarding certificates such as these is a good way to bolster their self-confidence.

It's good tabloid fodder because the majority will default to Daily Mail Rage mode before thinking about it for a few seconds... as evidenced by the comments underneath that article.

Sloppy journalism though, they could have made a much better story out of the "video evidence required" part of the "dressing and undressing" qualification. :P

Edited by DementedTuna

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Government money wasting exercise number: 8766754976655432

LOGGED

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/1...catching-a-bus/

A schoolboy gained a qualification for getting on a bus - despite not knowing he had taken the test.

Bobby McHale, 15, received a letter from an exam board recognising his ability to walk to the bus stop, wait for it to arrive and to board the vehicle

Buy ****, you know it makes sense.

I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please?

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I query the need for an examination board, course syllabus etc, and all the paraphernalia that comes with it. Why not just teach them to catch a bus, and pat them on the back and say well done with it?

The satisfaction and confidence comes when such students can repeatedly carry such tasks on their own, and not necessarily need to be verified by an external examiner and recorded on a certified piece of paper. I have forgotten the exponential costs, and the obvious plethora of employment such schemes create. Surely a sign of the froth of the economic miracle?

I am not qualified to criticize the government by the way. I am waiting for my NVQ3 in Quantitative and Qualitive Pass in Government policy analysis Part 4B.

I don't read the normally The (vile) Express by the way!

Edited by Pseudo Lord Sandwich

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I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please?

May I direct you to some directed further reading, by Tommy Toilet before you attempt the exam?

SP_tommy.BG.gif

[1 mark for writing your name on the exam paper, not toilet paper]

Edited by Pseudo Lord Sandwich

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Guest sillybear2
The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught.

Can we get Alan Duncan to take this test?

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Guest sillybear2
I did a dump in the toilet, can i have a certificate to wipe my **** with, please?

Sure, the BoE decided to print an additional 50 billion of them just last week.

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Is it bad to admit to once having not succesfully having caught a bus :lol:

I flunked, I was left to the elements, school had to wait, I was wayside, forgotten, lost to the big bad world with no qualification, no hope, no excuse. That warped me. I was the black sheep, the disillusioned. Much more of that shit and I could have ended up becoming a goth or something.

Edit: or even worse, I could have turned out emo..

EmoPussies.jpg

Edited by jammo

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nulab have all been awarded the...I can truly ****** an economy badge.

Mervyn King received the bronze badge because he hides his face from the public, whereas those who are "on the program" receive the full gold badge.

Biddy Baxter, the brains behind the idea said it encouraged imbeciles to perform and be confident in their ********.

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i have got to be honest

the last couple of evening courses i have done, basic web design and computer maintenence

i dont think i could of failed if i tried

and on the computer maintenence course the mock test that we were given was exactly the same as

the real final exam!

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MP, Ima RichBuker, said he applauded the scheme and considered it a qualification worth getting, as he didnt even know what a bus was, or did.

"public transport? what the hells that? sounds like something obscure, not for everyday folk, just getting on with the job, like me" said the MP from cunthorpe.

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i have got to be honest

the last couple of evening courses i have done, basic web design and computer maintenence

i dont think i could of failed if i tried

and on the computer maintenence course the mock test that we were given was exactly the same as

the real final exam!

Makes you wonder if some parties have a vested interest dunnit.

How could anyone profit from such a thing??

Hmmm, would a course provider get more funding from failing it's students???

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MP, Ima RichBuker, said he applauded the scheme and considered it a qualification worth getting, as he didnt even know what a bus was, or did.

"public transport? what the hells that? sounds like something obscure, not for everyday folk, just getting on with the job, like me" said the MP from cunthorpe.

:D:D

seriously though, there's no such place as cunthorpe, is there?

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:D:D

seriously though, there's no such place as cunthorpe, is there?

You need to enrol on my UK Place Names A-Z course, limited spaces, only £499.99, plus £99.99 non refundable admin fee.

Don't let your gremlins hold you back.

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Sensationalist drivel.

The certificate and program is mainly intended for kids with learning disabilities, for whom simple tasks like making a cup of tea and using public transport do sometimes need to be taught.

There's a full list here, which includes a lot of basic stuff: http://web.aqa.org.uk/qual/uas/units/life.php

Awarding certificates such as these is a good way to bolster their self-confidence.

It's good tabloid fodder because the majority will default to Daily Mail Rage mode before thinking about it for a few seconds...

Actually I did

I thought that this looked like a certificate that might be reasonably be given to a mentally disabled person.

And concluded that as the item didn't say this, that the individual did NOT suffer from this disability

tim

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To be fair, an exam for kids in how to catch a bus and not p!ss the whole bus off with their behavior would be quite a good thing.

Perhaps Boris could could make it a prerequisite for free travel for the under 16's?

It would certainly create some more public sector non-jobs :)

I hereby apply for the post of "Catching a bus ability coordinator for Greater London" at a salary of 200k PA plus bonuses and platinum plated pension.

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I'm afraid a large proportion of the population where I live could make use of such a course. Why is it so difficult for some people to ask for "a single to X" or a "return to Y?". Many a time the bus is delayed by people who need to ask complicated questions of the driver eg "If I return after 6 from Banbury Road is there a connecting service that passes by the hospital etc etc etc..." :angry: :angry: :angry:

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