Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum
Sign in to follow this  
thedude

Wow Wow Wow

Recommended Posts

My gf pointed this one out to me, we were particularly amused by the description.

WOW!! WOW!! WOW!! Look at this recently refurbished two bedroom end terrace property with VERY MODERN FEATURES! The property comprises of a well landscaped low maintenance front and back garden, lounge, state of the art kitchen and state of the art family bathroom. UPVC double glazing. Gas Central Heating. The location is close to local schools, local amenities and motorway links.

Is it ever acceptable to use the phrase "Wow!! wow!! wow!!" other than when describing an emerging techno pop group from Lithuania?

Is this sort of language usual for EA's or is it the precursor to "Please please please?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It irks me that they describe it as "with very modern features", they are either modern or not, they cannot be "very modern".

Edited by zebbedee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest happy?
My gf pointed this one out to me, we were particularly amused by the description.

Is it ever acceptable to use the phrase "Wow!! wow!! wow!!" other than when describing an emerging techno pop group from Lithuania?

Is this sort of language usual for EA's or is it the precursor to "Please please please?"

On the semi-literate description "comprises of" - the 'of' is redundant. Either write "comprising: item1; item2;" etc or "comprises; item1; item2; etc. depending on tense.

On the house itself:

The chimney stack looks as though it's been amputated - get a surveyor to check it as it may not have been done properly - it should be capped-off with adequate ventilation. The cooker in the kitchen has been sited under another chimney stack - make sure this has been properly supported as it may collapse. The faux wood floor in the living room has been laid across the existing floorboards at 90 degrees to the correct direction - the floor now runs in the same direction as the underlying joists - which just looks bizarre to anyone who has an eye for this sort of thing.

The 'low maintenance' front garden is probably some cheap bits of slate - or worse concreted over: which is a pity because the neighbours on either side go to the effort to grow plants in their garden. The house has obviously been up for sale for months because the tree in the front garden is bare

The bathtub is plastic - it's also very large and will cost a pretty penny to actually fill. If there is an immersion tank make sure it's actually big enough to fill the bath - lots of them aren't.

The bedroom appears to be clinical white - this is great if you want to live in the set from Kubrick's masterpiece 2001 but not very practical nor very restful. The white bed surround will take scuff marks from everything from the dog, to the vacuum cleaner, to your passionate love affair.

This house has obviously been chavved-up by a 'developer' on the last throw of the dice. Most of what's been done is already quite dated (but largely superficial) and clearly the property isn't shifting. If you genuinely like it, I'd wait till October and put a cheeky offer in - promising to have it off their hands by Christmas.

Oh, and the mirowave oven is sited dangerously high - no-one under seven foot six will be able to use this without spilling burning liquid on themselves.

Edit: There's a notice on the living-room window - I'm betting it's from the mortgagees in possession. Make that offer low!

Edited by happy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, wow, wow, a house I could afford! They really are cheap up north!

Though it seems to want all the innards stripped out and replaced before one could bear to live there. :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow...........Unbeilevable

as Kate Bush would say.

Stange, as I never had her down as being a fan of online gaming.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive been looking at a few repos but wont be jumping in until next year when I have my 10% deposit..The prices I have seen are around the 85-90k for a 3 bed semi..what would you offer if you were going in now?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable

That decor is straight out of "Show-Me-How-To-Paint-My-******ing-House" or somesuch similar TV series.

Laminate flooring, stainless steel sink with faux marble top, 'breakfast bar' with space for torn off big flat panel TV and torn out fireplace replaced with a red box thing to put generic Ikea shitvases in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable
Ive been looking at a few repos but wont be jumping in until next year when I have my 10% deposit..The prices I have seen are around the 85-90k for a 3 bed semi..what would you offer if you were going in now?

50k. Screw them. Screw them hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable
God that's bleak country.

Howling gales, no trees, no shelter. Looks like nothing grows there either.

Let's hope the roof's nailed-down properly.

I wouldn't touch anywhere that doesn't have at least one or two rooms done in polystyrene tiling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Is it ever acceptable to use the phrase "Wow!! wow!! wow!!" other than when describing an emerging techno pop group from Lithuania?

Excellent! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It irks me that they describe it as "with very modern features", they are either modern or not, they cannot be "very modern".

I agree. However, the one exception would be for a flat that was put up for sale a few years back, which had a high spec Star Trek Next Generation interior, that's what I call very modern, if not very, very modern.

This is the BBC news story on youtube of the flat.

Wow, Wow, Wow and I'm not even a Star Trek fan.

Edited by Take Me Back To London!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My gf pointed this one out to me, we were particularly amused by the description.

Is it ever acceptable to use the phrase "Wow!! wow!! wow!!" other than when describing an emerging techno pop group from Lithuania?

Is this sort of language usual for EA's or is it the precursor to "Please please please?"

I saw a few in S. Wales where the opening line is

"ITS A TARDIS!"*

*apostrophe missing on purpose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Complete with crooked, poorly taken photos of the interior. But ooo, a rainbow.

Those wonky interior shots are giving me inner ear problems... are we sure the whole house isn't slightly to one side? Or maybe the EA has one leg shorter than the other? :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Complete with crooked, poorly taken photos of the interior. But ooo, a rainbow.

I wonder if they'd do a deal over fixtures and fittings? If they would I'd offer them a grand to take that horse's head away with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry to appear stupid but can I ask the significance of the tape over the shower taps? I've noticed other houses with tape across the toilet pan and wondered what it was about.

Not stupid at all. When houses are repoed, the services are cut off. The tape indicates that taps, toilets etc should not be used as there is no water to "wash stuff away", if you get my drift.

Edit: Also boilers, etc.

Edited by narrowescape

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • The Prime Minister stated that there were three Brexit options available to the UK:   285 members have voted

    1. 1. Which of the Prime Minister's options would you choose?


      • Leave with the negotiated deal
      • Remain
      • Leave with no deal

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic


×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.