Baby Due In 3 Weeks

[MississippiJohnHurt]

I wonder if it has anything to do with this?

0Average cost of bringing up a child to 21 reaches £180k

The article is 3 years old so adjusted for inflation the costs would be closer to ?200k now

Just train them as chimney sweeps when they get to 5. It basically nets out the cost by the time they get to 18.

[Lander]

Just train them as chimney sweeps when they get to 5. It basically nets out the cost by the time they get to 18.

[I want a house!]

Should I turn the nipper straight over to social services? What kind of parent must I be to contemplate starting a family in rented accomodation? I feel so ashamed.

What you trying to say? I'm having one too but I'm not going to make the poor kid poor before its even born, a slave to a morgaged house that costs more than rent.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

[Battenberg]

re: school catchment, you can choose a rental house right by your prefered school when the time comes.

This.

I have 3 kids and I rent. It means they go to a fantastic little local school in a small rural area and a fab high school.

[Y-QUERK]

When its born check if it has a barcode on its forehead.

[bazzzzzzz]

Should I turn the nipper straight over to social services? What kind of parent must I be to contemplate starting a family in rented accomodation? I feel so ashamed.

It's unfortunate.

If you owned a house any untimely death on your part would result in the mortgage being paid off and permanent security for your dependents.

[the_duke_of_hazzard]

Got two kids - 2 and 1 years old.

We're moving later this year for schools, as it turns out where we're renting all the schools are sh1t.

It will cost me a couple of grand to move at most and all I have to do is tell the landlord we're off. If we'd bought we'd be screwed.

Oh, and we're going to be renting. Of course.

[DementedTuna]

Renting is great if you have kids, you can rent somewhere close to a really great school for a little while, get one of your kids in there, then move out somewhere cheaper and all future kids will get to go to the same school because they already have a sibling there.

I will definitely be renting right up until any kids are in secondary school. If I've bought by then, then we can always pull the rental scam, have mail forwarded and a landline installed in the new place. £5k for 6 months, pretty good price for securing places in a good state school.

All these mugs spending an extra £100k+ for a house in a good catchment area when all they need to do is rent for a year or so.

Catchment areas are a brilliant counter-argument to any crazy nesting wives pacing around in a buying frenzy... as they do.

[the_duke_of_hazzard]

Renting is great if you have kids, you can rent somewhere close to a really great school for a little while, get one of your kids in there, then move out somewhere cheaper and all future kids will get to go to the same school because they already have a sibling there.

I will definitely be renting right up until any kids are in secondary school. If I've bought by then, then we can always pull the rental scam, have mail forwarded and a landline installed in the new place. £5k for 6 months, pretty good price for securing places in a good state school.

All these mugs spending an extra £100k+ for a house in a good catchment area when all they need to do is rent for a year or so.

Catchment areas are a brilliant counter-argument to any crazy nesting wives pacing around in a buying frenzy... as they do.

The really good schools round our way insist you have to be there when you apply and when you start, and they do home visits to check you really live there.

[HAMISH_MCTAVISH]

Should I turn the nipper straight over to social services? What kind of parent must I be to contemplate starting a family in rented accomodation? I feel so ashamed.

Nooooo, don't be silly. Diversity is good for children. New experiences broaden their mind. Just think of how much fun you'll have, being able to sort through the kids toys every 6 months, as you have to pack them to move. Perhaps you could even donate the ones they've grown out of to the neglected kids of the junkies next door, that'll make you feel better. And think how much extra care of them you'll take, not knowing who your neighbours are, or whether they are on the sex offenders register. PLus, when they get to school age, you can move them to a different school, twice a year. So when they get bullied for moving around so much, like a pack of gypo's, at least you'll know they don't have to put up with it for more than another 6 months. And the money you'll save on painting and decorating their rooms will certainly be a benefit. Maybe you can teach them to look for animal shapes in the 1970's woodchip paper on the ceiling, it could stimulate their imaginations and everything.

No, I wouldn't worry about the social services. Just explain to them you are doing all of the above "because you don't want to be a debt slave, living in a slave's rabbit hutch"...... I'm sure they'll be very understanding.

You'll be fine.

[moneyfornothing]

Nooooo, don't be silly. Diversity is good for children. New experiences broaden their mind. Just think of how much fun you'll have, being able to sort through the kids toys every 6 months, as you have to pack them to move. Perhaps you could even donate the ones they've grown out of to the neglected kids of the junkies next door, that'll make you feel better. And think how much extra care of them you'll take, not knowing who your neighbours are, or whether they are on the sex offenders register. PLus, when they get to school age, you can move them to a different school, twice a year. So when they get bullied for moving around so much, like a pack of gypo's, at least you'll know they don't have to put up with it for more than another 6 months. And the money you'll save on painting and decorating their rooms will certainly be a benefit. Maybe you can teach them to look for animal shapes in the 1970's woodchip paper on the ceiling, it could stimulate their imaginations and everything.

No, I wouldn't worry about the social services. Just explain to them you are doing all of the above "because you don't want to be a debt slave, living in a slave's rabbit hutch"...... I'm sure they'll be very understanding.

You'll be fine.

Now now Hamish.. just the expert we need advice from on Parenting .. remind me how many children you have ?

By inference, can I also assume that you are unlikely to be owning a house as well given your expert views on ownership?

[erat_forte]

Nooooo, don't be silly. Diversity is good for children. New experiences broaden their mind. Just think of how much fun you'll have, being able to sort through the kids toys every 6 months, as you have to pack them to move. Perhaps you could even donate the ones they've grown out of to the neglected kids of the junkies next door, that'll make you feel better. And think how much extra care of them you'll take, not knowing who your neighbours are, or whether they are on the sex offenders register. PLus, when they get to school age, you can move them to a different school, twice a year. So when they get bullied for moving around so much, like a pack of gypo's, at least you'll know they don't have to put up with it for more than another 6 months. And the money you'll save on painting and decorating their rooms will certainly be a benefit. Maybe you can teach them to look for animal shapes in the 1970's woodchip paper on the ceiling, it could stimulate their imaginations and everything.

No, I wouldn't worry about the social services. Just explain to them you are doing all of the above "because you don't want to be a debt slave, living in a slave's rabbit hutch"...... I'm sure they'll be very understanding.

You'll be fine.

Good grief I didn't think Aberdeen was that bad. I feel sorry for you Hamish. Perhaps you should move down to Dundee, you might find more of a community spirit and better neighbours!

[US Citizen]

Congratulations on your expected baby.

In just 3.5 weeks, this thread may still be going, but dont worry, you'll be exhausted from lack of sleep and changing nappies every 2-3 hours or less, feeding, nappy changing (I mention it twice, because that all you ever do), and the same all over again, sometimes all at once.. Your disposable income will shrink to amount of loose change down the back of the sofa and you will never be happier in your life.

One thing I can say, you wont care if your renting or buying and thats what its all about. The best of luck and best wishes.

Edited June 10, 2009 by debt-free

[winkie]

Should I turn the nipper straight over to social services? What kind of parent must I be to contemplate starting a family in rented accomodation? I feel so ashamed.

Give over, are you having a laugh...read your own signature and think about it.

All a nipper wants is a solid safe and reliable family, the way things are going if any child is not living in rented accommodation now they had better get used to it because the chances are they will some time in their future...no big deal.

[Dr Renter]

Totally agree with the sentiment of this thread. I have a 10 week old daughter and rent. Pay £900 a month for a lovely 3-bed cottage in a gorgeous village just outside Bath. Average house price in the village is £450k.

Awesome school 2mins away. Shop, village hall, GP practice, pub, train station, quiet and friendly neighbours, rolling countryside. Fantastic quality of life, no debt, plenty of money in the bank and flexibility if we need to move for work.

A bull would deride me for not buying a 2-bed slave bid in a shit area. They just don't get the concept of quality of life, probably because they don't have one.

[kingsgate]

Should I turn the nipper straight over to social services? What kind of parent must I be to contemplate starting a family in rented accomodation? I feel so ashamed.

You scum!!!!

Jeremy Kyle needs to have words with you. You don't care about that kid, because you are iresponsible SCUM.

[mattydread]

I haven't even been able to decorate the nursery in Winnie the Pooh wallpaper

Will my child be bullied at school? Will they suffer an inferiority complex because we live in a really nice 250 year old house and not an estate slavebox?

I don't want my child to be disadvantaged by my lack of home ownership...

Educate at home - children aren't even safe in a nursery anymore.

I couldn't even contemplate having kids in this country.

Good luck.

[huntergatherer]

It's such a shame that people perceive wealth on whether one owns a home or not. It makes it much worse when baby talk happens and people look shocked that one could quite happily start a family in rented accomodation.

Unfortunately a lot of the lemmings believe you can't start a family unless you're a home owner, or at least they frown upon it.

I know couples who either:

a. Won't get married until they're settled in a home they've bought.

b. Will get married and will need to buy a house as soon as they can after the marriage in order to feel they have a 'base'.

It's all about timing really, no set way to do anything in life. Unless you're a sheeple follower of course.

I think many couples were pressured into buying the big family house (and big mortgage) or rather marrying the house first (and big mortgage) and then have a family later.

I believe there are examples where having a baby in this situation is seen to be a 'way out' of their underlying mortgage worries. Further down the line, when financial reality kicks in, family stress leads to a break up.

The so called freedom of ownership is actually enslavement to debt. A newborn could be born into slavery debt or have more freedom where parents are renters.

[heather5]

As others have said - once kiddlie arrives - all will change and it'll be your family unit in focus - where you all are is important - but only if you are together - wherever that may be and whenever - even if you do have to move several times over until things fall into place.

Someone mentioned about would kiddlie be bullied for being in rented accommodation etc - and someone else mentioned that it's only recently that owning a home has been seen as imperative to having kids.

I'll chime in.

My parents generation - I'm in my 40's - very few people bought - many were in Council housing - and if not Council - then rented.

And they were what was then considered middle-class people - i.e. young parents with professional jobs - but just starting out - like everyone else but the few.

It's only in this money grabbing last 20-30 years that some how your house or rather lack of it is perceived as an issue in this country vs who you are and what you stand for - and what you are to others in your community and how you treat your kids.

Prior to that - people just did what they could afford housing wise and the kids came - and grew-up and were often none the wiser - and it didn't come into it at school as a kid - in fact - you never even thought of it as a kid until you were 18 or so - and you started comparing yourself to friends or rebelled against your parents saying - I'll never be rented accommmodation when I marry and have kids.

Countries elsewhere - it's very rare in a place like HK and even cities in China - for the locals to actually own - and they've rented tiny places and brought up the kids successfully - such that encouraging their education and supporting them towards a better life has been more important than where they live. India is similar in my experience - but that's 15 years-ago.

France, Germany and other places with top cities - many families rent because buying is not the thing there - sure they do have better tenancy protection than here - and that's what should be changed in this country to my mind - rather than encouraging people to buy what is stupidly unaffordable or what is wholely inappropriate for their situation.

It's only this country that there is an obsession.

My Gran & Grandad rented a Council house - and brought up 4 kids there - and my Gran, now 97 - still lives in the house - although it is falling down around her because the Council won't pay for the structural upkeep.

In fact, as some have said here - you are being a very responsible person by not getting into debt you can't afford or which sacrifices your life with them just to pay for it.

It's odd times - and the property market is odd - but kids will settle wherever if they have a loving family around them who helps them understand what's going on - particularly as if it's presented as a new opportunity.

Sure, they have to upsticks and make new friends - but that's what they'll have to do as adults - so building confidence young will help them.

You may have to move several times over for your job - and your family will have to follow you - just make sure you are a strong family emotionally - and you'll cope with it.

I was brought up in rented accommodation - as was my brother - it was only when there were three of us - and my Dad had progressed that we went to bought (a new build on a special deal).

Again, it's the laws for renting that need to be changed rather than you slavishly buying.

Finally, bullying - I suffered severe bullying as a kid - had my arm broken, regularly beaten-up, head down the loo - by the local kids - all middle-class well to do kids - but by that time my parents had bought a huge big house (run down and almost derelict at a knock-down price - still wasn't done-up by the time I left home) - and the deal was - I lived in a big house - and they lived in a slightly smaller one.

So go figure.

Don't worry about it - go with the flow - and enjoy parenthood - particularly when they are young - they don't need much other than you and they won't know about what environment they are in until they are - well by today's standard - 8-ish?

Good luck with the birth - what a joy - and enjoy.

[shell]

As others have said - once kiddlie arrives - all will change and it'll be your family unit in focus - where you all are is important - but only if you are together - wherever that may be and whenever - even if you do have to move several times over until things fall into place.

Someone mentioned about would kiddlie be bullied for being in rented accommodation etc - and someone else mentioned that it's only recently that owning a home has been seen as imperative to having kids.

I'll chime in.

My parents generation - I'm in my 40's - very few people bought - many were in Council housing - and if not Council - then rented.

And they were what was then considered middle-class people - i.e. young parents with professional jobs - but just starting out - like everyone else but the few.

It's only in this money grabbing last 20-30 years that some how your house or rather lack of it is perceived as an issue in this country vs who you are and what you stand for - and what you are to others in your community and how you treat your kids.

Prior to that - people just did what they could afford housing wise and the kids came - and grew-up and were often none the wiser - and it didn't come into it at school as a kid - in fact - you never even thought of it as a kid until you were 18 or so - and you started comparing yourself to friends or rebelled against your parents saying - I'll never be rented accommmodation when I marry and have kids.

Countries elsewhere - it's very rare in a place like HK and even cities in China - for the locals to actually own - and they've rented tiny places and brought up the kids successfully - such that encouraging their education and supporting them towards a better life has been more important than where they live. India is similar in my experience - but that's 15 years-ago.

France, Germany and other places with top cities - many families rent because buying is not the thing there - sure they do have better tenancy protection than here - and that's what should be changed in this country to my mind - rather than encouraging people to buy what is stupidly unaffordable or what is wholely inappropriate for their situation.

It's only this country that there is an obsession.

My Gran & Grandad rented a Council house - and brought up 4 kids there - and my Gran, now 97 - still lives in the house - although it is falling down around her because the Council won't pay for the structural upkeep.

In fact, as some have said here - you are being a very responsible person by not getting into debt you can't afford or which sacrifices your life with them just to pay for it.

It's odd times - and the property market is odd - but kids will settle wherever if they have a loving family around them who helps them understand what's going on - particularly as if it's presented as a new opportunity.

Sure, they have to upsticks and make new friends - but that's what they'll have to do as adults - so building confidence young will help them.

You may have to move several times over for your job - and your family will have to follow you - just make sure you are a strong family emotionally - and you'll cope with it.

I was brought up in rented accommodation - as was my brother - it was only when there were three of us - and my Dad had progressed that we went to bought (a new build on a special deal).

Again, it's the laws for renting that need to be changed rather than you slavishly buying.

Finally, bullying - I suffered severe bullying as a kid - had my arm broken, regularly beaten-up, head down the loo - by the local kids - all middle-class well to do kids - but by that time my parents had bought a huge big house (run down and almost derelict at a knock-down price - still wasn't done-up by the time I left home) - and the deal was - I lived in a big house - and they lived in a slightly smaller one.

So go figure.

Don't worry about it - go with the flow - and enjoy parenthood - particularly when they are young - they don't need much other than you and they won't know about what environment they are in until they are - well by today's standard - 8-ish?

Good luck with the birth - what a joy - and enjoy.

Great post!

Re: kids being bullied for living in rented home 'issue'. So what if the place you're renting is bigger and nicer than 90% of the homeowner parents you know? With a large garden to boot. Do your kids get bullied then?

Nah. Any kind of kid can get bullied. Coming from a rented home or owned home doesn't make any difference.

[i wanna house]

I know you were being a bit sarcastic anyway,but society/upbringing has conditioned us to think you might need the "stability" of owning your home when starting a family .The rule book and our way of life in the UK is being turned upside down at the moment .In the ensuing instability,you need max flexibility ,so,actually by renting you are doing the very best for the security of your new arrival . I own a house,bought 15 years ago but would not go near property right now .Good luck with the baby,enjoy it all,all too soon they grow up!!!

nonsence