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Nuclear Holocaust Could Knock 30% Off House Prices


OnlyMe

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HOLA441

Property plumpf, mash style.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society...s-200905281788/

NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST COULD KNOCK 30% OFF HOUSE PRICES Print Email this story

A GLOBAL nuclear war followed by a new dark age of terror and despair could further depress the UK housing market, according to the Halifax.

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"Over the medium term we predict that prices would drop by up to 30% as the blackened survivors run around in terror, bleeding from every orifice and the landscape is transformed into mile and after mile of charred, smouldering hell.

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Tom Logan, deputy director of the Association of Mortgage Lenders, inisted there would almost certainly be opportunities for young, professional couples who were not coughing up too much blood.

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Stuart Law of Assetz continued: "obviously desirable properties will do best during armageddon; particularly those boasting reinforced concrete cellars 1,000m below ground or situated in picturesque locations deep inside mountains

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Will probably knock more off those nearer the initial blasts. I estimate 100% off all houses within a 10 mile radius decreasing to probably 50% for houses 20 miles away to maybe a few melted gutters 25 miles away.

Nuclear holocaust will not happen in my back garden. I have 16 trees on preservation orders.

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One of the Mash's best to date.

To manufacture consent you must first remove dissent.

For the elite to turn the people into wilfully obedient sheeple, satire and analysis had to be removed from the airwaves replacing them with agents of Satan like Simon Cowell.

The British crowd has had its madness and now lives in darkness. Globalization has spread that dreadful gloom.

Articles like this in the Daily Mash are an all too brief glimpse of the suspicion, even contempt, with which the true elite must be held.

How did you find out about the Jekyll Island meeting? The mainstream media or the internet?

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I think it's more complex. It's all to do with supply and demand. OK, a lot of people would be wiped out in a nuclear holocaust, but a lot of homes will be destroyed or made uninhabitable by radiation, so the equilibrium might be maintained. It could even be a buying opportunity! I mean, you could buy whole undamaged blocks of flats on the fringes of a radiated area for next to nothing and in 50 year's time they might be safe again and worth a fortune.

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Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable
I think it's more complex. It's all to do with supply and demand. OK, a lot of people would be wiped out in a nuclear holocaust, but a lot of homes will be destroyed or made uninhabitable by radiation, so the equilibrium might be maintained. It could even be a buying opportunity! I mean, you could buy whole undamaged blocks of flats on the fringes of a radiated area for next to nothing and in 50 year's time they might be safe again and worth a fortune.

As long as no-one has eaten your brains by then.

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Guest skullingtonjoe
Property plumpf, mash style.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society...s-200905281788/

NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST COULD KNOCK 30% OFF HOUSE PRICES Print Email this story

A GLOBAL nuclear war followed by a new dark age of terror and despair could further depress the UK housing market, according to the Halifax.

....

"Over the medium term we predict that prices would drop by up to 30% as the blackened survivors run around in terror, bleeding from every orifice and the landscape is transformed into mile and after mile of charred, smouldering hell.

....

Tom Logan, deputy director of the Association of Mortgage Lenders, inisted there would almost certainly be opportunities for young, professional couples who were not coughing up too much blood.

No, no no. The shrewd investor would be buying up buy-to-let fallout shelters before the war kicked off and then rent them out to the highest bidder! Nothing like a crisis to stimulate the market! :rolleyes:

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Sounds like a buying opportunity to me!

I have a cunning plan, like all the best plans it's just so simple. I am going to start a time share company selling.................wait for it...........................time share nuclear shelters.

We can grade the weeks as well, have red (the most expensive) weeks for when we think the time is most right for a nuclear scrap. Who wants in on this fantastic money spinner?

There we go, Krusty is up for it already, she will be doing the bullshi..........I mean marketing spin!

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HOLA4424
Phil and Krusty would be spoilt for choice in their next UK Hotspots program.

Krusty would argue that "the current nuclear conflagration is nothing more than a smokesreen for the real disaster in our midst; that is HIPS. The suspension of HIPS and a modest extension of the stamp duty holiday would easily offset the localized impact of blast waves and contamination"

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