My Thoughts About Reducing Stress

[Mrs Imp]

Stress

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

While I was on my way to work, I started to think about why I was quite so stressed. I have looming deadlines with very little time to complete, and I'm sure that's the same for everyone, Imp included. Then when I get home from work it's time to start doing the washing up from breakfast, popping to the shop for food, cooking, ironing and sorting out the washing. Admittedly, some of this can be done at the weekend, but I'd rather not spend the whole weekend doing housework. It's the same for Imp. The working day doesn't really end at 5 when we leave our respective offices, but carries on at home.

Supposing one of us was to give up work, or at least work part time. The benefits would be two fold, especially if every family were to adopt this strategy. Imp (coz I would be the one to quit/reduce my hours) would be able to come home to a clean tidy house with the dinner on the table (slippers in front of the fire, children lined up in height order etc etc etc) and be able to relax and forget about the day's stress and I wouldn't be stressed about work because I wouldn't have any. Put this accross the whole country and surely this would reduce the number of stress related sick days taken off, increase the country's productivity and reduce the NHS bill. Secondly, it would reduce disposable income, so house prices would have to come down even further, to more sensible levels.

I think I must be a little bit of a traditionalist, as I would rather it be me do the housewifing than Imp. That's not to say that all women should stay at home, but it generally seems to make sense, especially if you want clothes that come out of the washing machine the same shape and colour that they went in

At the moment people are often cash rich and time poor, or cash poor and time poor. The only people who are cash poor and time rich are the unemployed. Some make the most of it, some quite clearly don't. I would expect unemployed people to have spotless houses, delicious home-cooked food, and gardens full of veg, not to mention clean, tidy, well behaved children. Those are things that require time, and time is what they have.

Ah well, those are my thoughts.

[Ceinwyn]

Stress

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

<snip>

Ah well, those are my thoughts.

I hear you and I'm totally with you. I am currently studying full-time to retrain as a teacher, working in an office part-time (14h/week) and have a 5yo. During the semester, there is just no time for anything going beyond basics like dishes and laundry. Looking at my flat at the moment, it's probably going to take most of my semester break to catch up with the housework and make a head start both in organizing my housework and my workload for the next semester to feel a bit less stressed come the autumn.

It doesn't help that my partner works long hours as the main bread winner since he understandably wants to kick back when he comes in in the evening.

So I'm torn between hoping for a dry hot summer (to go and spend time outside with my 5yo) and praying for a cold rainy summer (to stay indoors and sort through all the boxes in the cupboards as well as deep-clean).

It's always easier if you have a clearly defined role, rather than trying to balance serveral things at the same time.

[str mofo]

I hear you and I'm totally with you. I am currently studying full-time to retrain as a teacher, working in an office part-time (14h/week) and have a 5yo. During the semester, there is just no time for anything going beyond basics like dishes and laundry. Looking at my flat at the moment, it's probably going to take most of my semester break to catch up with the housework and make a head start both in organizing my housework and my workload for the next semester to feel a bit less stressed come the autumn.

It doesn't help that my partner works long hours as the main bread winner since he understandably wants to kick back when he comes in in the evening.

So I'm torn between hoping for a dry hot summer (to go and spend time outside with my 5yo) and praying for a cold rainy summer (to stay indoors and sort through all the boxes in the cupboards as well as deep-clean).

It's always easier if you have a clearly defined role, rather than trying to balance serveral things at the same time.

holly shit. Im just trying to get my wife to leave teaching. Im just sick of the workload and stress for her. You only live once, dont waste it.

[council dweller]

Stress

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

While I was on my way to work, I started to think about why I was quite so stressed. I have looming deadlines with very little time to complete, and I'm sure that's the same for everyone, Imp included. Then when I get home from work it's time to start doing the washing up from breakfast, popping to the shop for food, cooking, ironing and sorting out the washing. Admittedly, some of this can be done at the weekend, but I'd rather not spend the whole weekend doing housework. It's the same for Imp. The working day doesn't really end at 5 when we leave our respective offices, but carries on at home.

Supposing one of us was to give up work, or at least work part time. The benefits would be two fold, especially if every family were to adopt this strategy. Imp (coz I would be the one to quit/reduce my hours) would be able to come home to a clean tidy house with the dinner on the table (slippers in front of the fire, children lined up in height order etc etc etc) and be able to relax and forget about the day's stress and I wouldn't be stressed about work because I wouldn't have any. Put this accross the whole country and surely this would reduce the number of stress related sick days taken off, increase the country's productivity and reduce the NHS bill. Secondly, it would reduce disposable income, so house prices would have to come down even further, to more sensible levels.

I think I must be a little bit of a traditionalist, as I would rather it be me do the housewifing than Imp. That's not to say that all women should stay at home, but it generally seems to make sense, especially if you want clothes that come out of the washing machine the same shape and colour that they went in

At the moment people are often cash rich and time poor, or cash poor and time poor. The only people who are cash poor and time rich are the unemployed. Some make the most of it, some quite clearly don't. I would expect unemployed people to have spotless houses, delicious home-cooked food, and gardens full of veg, not to mention clean, tidy, well behaved children. Those are things that require time, and time is what they have.

Ah well, those are my thoughts.

Yes.

I'm currently switching from full-time to part-time and should be just working 17 or 18 hours per week by the end of June. My wife's not working at the moment and spends a lot of her time on the garden and keeping things spotless, baking etc.

And the drawbacks......we will have about 100 quid a week to live on (just the 2 of us plus cat) after paying rent/C.T.

Can we live on this? Yes but only because we're pretty well geared up for it. We won't be stressed out by those unexpected expenses.

[Tiger Woods?]

Stress

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

While I was on my way to work, I started to think about why I was quite so stressed. I have looming deadlines with very little time to complete, and I'm sure that's the same for everyone, Imp included. Then when I get home from work it's time to start doing the washing up from breakfast, popping to the shop for food, cooking, ironing and sorting out the washing. Admittedly, some of this can be done at the weekend, but I'd rather not spend the whole weekend doing housework. It's the same for Imp. The working day doesn't really end at 5 when we leave our respective offices, but carries on at home.

Supposing one of us was to give up work, or at least work part time...

...Ah well, those are my thoughts.

+2

Oh yes. Miss D'oh and I have certainly come to this conclusion too. We are lucky in that we are in a situation where we can do something about it (June 26 is the final day of working for someone else for both of us). The two person working family is a disaster for precisely the reasons you outlined. Life turns into a Sisyphean nightmare when both people are working long hours. The weekend and evenings aren't a break, but time to catch up on the housework/paperwork before collapsing in front of the idiot box for an hour before going to bed. It is barely a life...and we aren't going to take it anymore. I pity those who are trapped in this life with huge mortgages for the next 25 years. It is just too horrible to conceive, and there is no need for it other than to line the pockets of the landowners and bankers.

When one of us is not working, the other comes home to food on the table and a clean and tidy house. We are much, much happier, and much more productive at work too.

[gotoutintime]

Most of my stress faded after jacking in work and leaving the UK. Sometimes the really slow pace of life can get to me out here in the Philippines when I want to get something done but am getting used to it now.

I got a little stressed when my FTSE trade went the wrong way yesterday but went and booked a nice massage with 2 Filipinas @ £1.50 each, job done!

[Mrs Imp]

Maybe they should bring back the old fashioned rules where when a woman gets married she has to leave her job

My work has verbally agreed to a reduced working week for me. Unfortunately, we've just hit a really busy patch and we've lost 2 staff members from my department, so it's unlikely to happen any time soon. My cunning plan is to take a day off as time off in lieu every week (have about 10 to take in next 3 months). Doesn't help with the deadlines, but certainly helps with the stress levels.

[hilltop]

Used to be that people kept a pig at the bottom of the garden. It was a useful supply of winter food. But the chief advantage of having a pig is that talking to it is so destressing. Chuck the pills...get a pig.

[Mrs Imp]

OR get the pig to go into work for you.

[council dweller]

Just a thought but I wonder if this is the first recession where people dicide to work less rather than more!?

If so, we're heading for a fiscal nightmare.

[TopTaff]

I think what Mrs TT and I would like most is the choice . I'm damn sure that if we could really afford it she would love to knock her working week in half (currently32 hours) but Oh! the allure of topping up our 'Vulture fund' (local EA's words not mine)

And with two kids fast approaching Uni age I'd like to be able to let them decide to go to Uni or not dependant on their aptitudes / wishes not finance

[TeddyBear]

More flexible working would certainly help. I know of a project management job that was just advertised, decent pay for 2 days a week based from home with a bit of travel to London outside of this. They had about a thousand applications from well qualified people.

There is so much opportunity for flexible working with mobile email etc these days and the desire for it from employees is massive but most companies seem to stay strictly wed to the old fashioned face time way of doing things.

[blankster]

Shorter working hours would benefit most people, except they'd probably have less money.

One has to work long enough to pay for basic needs plus a safety margin, but over and above that, increasingly, there's a trade-off between time and money. An extra day off each week is worth the loss of £100 per week for a lot of people - I'd certainly rather work 4 days for £400 than 5 for £500 (figures for illustrative purposes only, not my actual income!).

[The Masked Tulip]

Brits are killing themselves working long hours to keep up with the Jones. It is madness.

[Firefly]

Shorter working hours would benefit most people, except they'd probably have less money.

One has to work long enough to pay for basic needs plus a safety margin, but over and above that, increasingly, there's a trade-off between time and money. An extra day off each week is worth the loss of £100 per week for a lot of people - I'd certainly rather work 4 days for £400 than 5 for £500(figures for illustrative purposes only, not my actual income!).

I'd rather work 2 days for £500.

[Guest An Bearin Bui]

Stress

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

etc...

So why don't you just live your dream then? If you want to work part-time or give up your work, why not do that? It's your opinion that a home-maker lifestyle would be easier so you can easily accomplish that by giving up work. Personally, both my OH and I enjoy working and don't find it stressful to keep the schedule required, largely because we both pull our weight around the home. I find a lot of women who do work full-time are very stressed because of it but this is largely because their husbands/partners are lazy gits who want the money and status that a working wife brings but then aren't happy to compromise and accept that they need to do more childcare and housework to compensate.

A colleague of mine had this issue with a husband who doesn't believe he should do housework so once they had their daughter, she gave up work for a couple of years and is now working but only 3 days a week. Whatever floats your boat, really!

[Ceinwyn]

holly shit. Im just trying to get my wife to leave teaching. Im just sick of the workload and stress for her. You only live once, dont waste it.

Sweeeeet Jesus

Please tell me she's teaching secondary with a crappy specialist subject in an inner city academy.

[Ceinwyn]

Shorter working hours would benefit most people, except they'd probably have less money.

One has to work long enough to pay for basic needs plus a safety margin, but over and above that, increasingly, there's a trade-off between time and money. An extra day off each week is worth the loss of £100 per week for a lot of people - I'd certainly rather work 4 days for £400 than 5 for £500 (figures for illustrative purposes only, not my actual income!).

I went part-time after having my daughter. A work pal of mine used to bring up at least once a month how much better we part-timers had it. I usually replied with: If you think you can live with half a salary, there's no reason why you couldn't work part-time. That's usually enough to shut her up for a week

[gilf]

I think I'm about to be controversial and get lots of people shouting at me, but here goes.

Don't worry I think they are about turn their attention on me.

I have made this point before, but I will do so briefly again. It is my opinion that Women's Liberation is a major factor in the ills of the world we now live in. I'm not for a single second saying equality for women is a bad thing simply that I believe getting what women wanted was at the expense off all that was good about being a women, having the ability to bring up a stable family. That might be a a nightmare for some women but for a vast majority it is their ultimate goal (just look at the vast sums spent on IVF as an example).

To be a little less controversial it's not really about women, but more about dual income with both people working, there is no reason why the man cannot fill the home maker function. It's no so much equality of the sexes it's self but the path that getting everybody out to work had on society in general.

Of course there are multiple causes, but the high cost of living and a lack of moral guidance for me do stem form the break down of the traditional family unit, and those two things have a massive impact on the way our society currently operates, in the main for the worse.

....

Going back to the original point, I do agree, there is far more to life than work, I for example could earn about twice what I do now, but I'd much rather have a stress free life working 9-5. My wife and I don't have kids so we don't have the outside workload so either one of us giving up work wouldn't really have much of an impact time wise, but I so keep thinking about reducing my hours a bit, possibly working a 4 day week.

[Mrs Imp]

So why don't you just live your dream then? If you want to work part-time or give up your work, why not do that?

As I said in another post, I intend to. It wasn't practical previously as we had a flat in Cardiff to pay mortgage on (now sold) plus rent in Aylesbury. Even with belt tightening, one salary would struggle with that. Now I just have to remind my employer of our verbal agreement and I'll be stacking up the home made scones and jam (any takers?)

I'd like to keep part-time for the mo as I have a lot of friends at my office and enjoy the social side of things. So hopefully part-time would give me and Imp reduced stress (by allowing the houseowrk to be done) and I'd get to socialise with my friends. Win/win, as long as we're a little careful with money.

Edited May 28, 2009 by Mrs Imp