Dangerous Woman Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 What to make of Kirstie Allsopp? The valkyrie of vacant possession, a strident, snorting hockey captain who, along with that fey bald bloke, made homes into game shows. I swing from feelings of embarrassed fondness to pillow-biting fury. Sometimes, I think she’s a bit of a lumpy treasure; at others, that she should be hanging from her own curtain tassels. Almost all the girls I’ve known all my life have been more or less like Kirstie. In a blaze of intimate self-publicity, she leapt from the sinking property market, abandoning the leftover bald bloke, and bought a derelict house in Devon, which she is doing up on a frayed, genteel shoestring, to show the rest of us how to have a cosy, tasteful recession. The wondering about Kirstie is over. She has become a bosomy Wodehousian monster. Who on earth commissioned this format, of a middle-class, strident, plummy wife of a property millionaire, speculating on a £300,000 second home, who goes on to tell the mortgage-strapped, indebted, fearful workers that what they really ought to be doing is finding local artisans, throwing their own pots, blowing their own glasses, knitting their own toilet paper and going through the skips of their betters to make lovely, lovely, cosy, cosy, get-together light supper areas? Kirstie’s Homemade Home is such a monstrously patronising piece of class-bound, lady-bountiful do-goodery that it would beggar Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield to come up with a more cynical satire. Kirstie has crossed the threshold to become one of television’s undead. She now believes that what she has to say is important, that it’s real, instead of being simply light entertainment. We can only hope she finds some darling, ever so clever little local ropemonger. What’s truly disappointing, but I suppose unsurprising, is that she has such class-bound, predictable taste. It looks like the Princess Diana memorial holiday home — what’s technically known as late-1990s naff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dispossessed Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 I lost any respect for her after hearing on R4 telling village folk it was their fault that so many 2nd homeowners were buying up their properties and that the solutuion lay in their hands, you could have driven a truck through the hole in her argument. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_duke_of_hazzard Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 What to make of Kirstie Allsopp? The valkyrie of vacant possession, a strident, snorting hockey captain who, along with that fey bald bloke, made homes into game shows. I swing from feelings of embarrassed fondness to pillow-biting fury. Sometimes, I think she’s a bit of a lumpy treasure; at others, that she should be hanging from her own curtain tassels. Almost all the girls I’ve known all my life have been more or less like Kirstie. In a blaze of intimate self-publicity, she leapt from the sinking property market, abandoning the leftover bald bloke, and bought a derelict house in Devon, which she is doing up on a frayed, genteel shoestring, to show the rest of us how to have a cosy, tasteful recession.The wondering about Kirstie is over. She has become a bosomy Wodehousian monster. Who on earth commissioned this format, of a middle-class, strident, plummy wife of a property millionaire, speculating on a £300,000 second home, who goes on to tell the mortgage-strapped, indebted, fearful workers that what they really ought to be doing is finding local artisans, throwing their own pots, blowing their own glasses, knitting their own toilet paper and going through the skips of their betters to make lovely, lovely, cosy, cosy, get-together light supper areas? Kirstie’s Homemade Home is such a monstrously patronising piece of class-bound, lady-bountiful do-goodery that it would beggar Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield to come up with a more cynical satire. Kirstie has crossed the threshold to become one of television’s undead. She now believes that what she has to say is important, that it’s real, instead of being simply light entertainment. We can only hope she finds some darling, ever so clever little local ropemonger. What’s truly disappointing, but I suppose unsurprising, is that she has such class-bound, predictable taste. It looks like the Princess Diana memorial holiday home — what’s technically known as late-1990s naff. Great stuff. I heard KA on Radio4 saying "house prices will never go down because men will always want to put a roof over their wives heads". Fetch the guillotine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stew Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Brilliant <clapping smilie> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R K Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Great stuff.I heard KA on Radio4 saying "house prices will never go down because men will always want to put a roof over their wives heads". Fetch the guillotine! A spade Kirsty, a spade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrB Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 hehe, funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dangerous Woman Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Bump, so more people can enjoy the rant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BoomBoomCrash Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 That's Krusty alright. Her reinvention as little Miss frugality is shallow and unconvincing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckmojo Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Superbly-written rant! It's true though. She's an evil version of little britain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bajista Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 We can only hope she finds some darling, ever so clever little local ropemonger. Classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Fantastic stuff. Where oh where have Channel 4 and certain newspapers got the idea that everyone loves this stupid bint? Or that she's somehow posh totty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oracle Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 That's Krusty alright. Her reinvention as little Miss frugality is shallow and unconvincing. it is rather amusing watching this whole media-driven priesthood crumble before our very eyes they,and the people behind them really are quite pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Men In A Boat Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Where oh where have Channel 4 and certain newspapers got the idea that everyone loves this stupid bint? Or that she's somehow posh totty? I'm gonna need therapy, the trailer for her new show says shes going to get 'down and dirty'..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
housespider Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 My son has always maintained that I remind him of her! How could he! After everything I've done for that boy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@contradevian Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 (edited) Fattened him up?(Just kidding. No pun must ever be lost.) Whenever I see her, all I can think is that she would "cook up" nicely and would crackle nicely on the spit with an apple in her mouth. I need help! Edited April 20, 2009 by rover2000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD MAN Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 What to make of Kirstie Allsopp? The valkyrie of vacant possession, a strident, snorting hockey captain who, along with that fey bald bloke, made homes into game shows. I swing from feelings of embarrassed fondness to pillow-biting fury. Sometimes, I think she’s a bit of a lumpy treasure; at others, that she should be hanging from her own curtain tassels. Almost all the girls I’ve known all my life have been more or less like Kirstie. In a blaze of intimate self-publicity, she leapt from the sinking property market, abandoning the leftover bald bloke, and bought a derelict house in Devon, which she is doing up on a frayed, genteel shoestring, to show the rest of us how to have a cosy, tasteful recession.The wondering about Kirstie is over. She has become a bosomy Wodehousian monster. Who on earth commissioned this format, of a middle-class, strident, plummy wife of a property millionaire, speculating on a £300,000 second home, who goes on to tell the mortgage-strapped, indebted, fearful workers that what they really ought to be doing is finding local artisans, throwing their own pots, blowing their own glasses, knitting their own toilet paper and going through the skips of their betters to make lovely, lovely, cosy, cosy, get-together light supper areas? Kirstie’s Homemade Home is such a monstrously patronising piece of class-bound, lady-bountiful do-goodery that it would beggar Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield to come up with a more cynical satire. Kirstie has crossed the threshold to become one of television’s undead. She now believes that what she has to say is important, that it’s real, instead of being simply light entertainment. We can only hope she finds some darling, ever so clever little local ropemonger. What’s truly disappointing, but I suppose unsurprising, is that she has such class-bound, predictable taste. It looks like the Princess Diana memorial holiday home — what’s technically known as late-1990s naff. Krustie is a result of artistocratic interbreeding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Congreve Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 (edited) Good to see some more Krusty bashing on here. There's been plenty of previous threads about Krusty, from which the most apt summary I have seen so far was: "Fat, stupid c**t!" I have to apologise, I can't remember who to credit for this pearl, but nonetheless, spot on that poster! Edited April 20, 2009 by General Congreve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
housespider Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Whenever I see her, all I can think is that she would "cook up" nicely and would crackle nicely on the spit with an apple in her mouth. I need help! Well, I must be honest and admit that when I see photos of myself as a child, all I can see is something akin to a pig in a wig. Before you get too excited I must tell you that I don't look like that anymore........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Great stuff.I heard KA on Radio4 saying "house prices will never go down because men will always want to put a roof over their wives heads". Fetch the guillotine! There's going to be a few million OO women well-pissed off with the hopelessly outmoded thinking in evidence in those words.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleKev Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 enough said. With looks like that who need brains? come on, we all fancy her on this forum dont we? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezerinno Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Yes, apart from all those that don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hovis Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 enough said. With looks like that who need brains?come on, we all fancy her on this forum dont we? All Krusty threads must feature her true image. It's the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric pebble Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Fattened him up?(Just kidding. No pun must ever be lost.) Excellent M Durch...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icingonthecake Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 come on, we all fancy her on this forum dont we? Wouldnt say no to a go on them puppies, nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Men In A Boat Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Wouldnt say no to a go on them puppies, nice. Bleurgh, hanging like puppies in a sack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.