Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum
Sign in to follow this  
numpty

A Cv Of An Unemployed Man

Recommended Posts

I will be available in January 20, 2009 and I am willing to relocate.

RESUME:

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20520

LAW ENFORCEMENT:

* I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I plead guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

MILITARY:

* I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

* I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

* I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

* I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

* I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

* With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry

(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :

* I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

* I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of

billions in borrowed money.

* I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

* With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my

father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

* I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

* I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

*I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

* I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

* In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

* I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire, 'Condoleezza

Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

* I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.

President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

* My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

* I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

* More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed..

* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

* I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

* I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

* I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

* I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

* I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

* I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

* I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

* I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

* I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

* After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

* I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

* I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

* I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

* I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

* In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

* I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

* I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' aWMD.

* I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

* All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President attended, regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

* I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What about giving permission for the torture of detainees in foreigh CIA prisons?

Obama has signed a decree to stop this immediately, showing Bush for what he was in his first day in office. Also, Guantanamo Bay will close within 1 year. Who will take the ex-detainees may be a stumbling block though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for this.

Anyone now made redundant and having to go through drawing-up or redoing their CV - this does serve as a base - whatever your lack of skills - and no matter what those strange odd periods of unemployement - where you may have wasted your time by watching daytime TV - rather than trekking the himalayas - and helping the locals build a water pump - you'll never ever in your life-time have a CV that looks like this!!!

At least you can sleep at night - even with financial debts.

Lucky that Bush didn't convert, as Blair did to the Catholic faith - gosh - how many hail mary's must he have to say - don't think he'll get them through in his life time.

Thanks for the smile it brought to me - and hopefully others!

Whilst also making me angry that such a man even got to such a post!

Guess it also proves - no matter what - with the right contacts - it's amazing what you can do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With the announcement of the shutting down of Guantanamo Bay, I am wondering if Obama has the balls to begin proceedings for War Crimes against those responsible.

I also note that Blair has setup shop in the US, and I suspect this is to evade the potential for a trial should he be living in the UK. I suspect the US would never allow the extradition of Blair to the Hague.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • 284 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.