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House Price Crash Forum


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Posts posted by Antsy

  1. here's something we crammed into a small hole earlier... aliens are landing in the kitchen and may suit hobbit or person with a serious stoop. And how did the EA levitate to get that picture of the bathroom?


    They still haven't dropped the price on the Roman style knocking shop either. Looks great from the outside, but the inside is beyond belief. Not so much interior design than an interior crime. Against humanity:


  2. Sorry LAurejon, as good as your advice normally is, in this case hoping that the landlord would return your deposit is like continuing to supply goods to a business that is in serious danger of going under - while you'd be within your legal rights to get your cash back, it would be a costly and long winded affair with no guarantee of getting a result (for instance, if they declared bankruptcy). Protect your cash - look for a new home, don't pay the deposit's worth of rent and remember- if they are in financial trouble, who\s to say they'll be able to afford to fix the place up if something goes wrong?

  3. Apologies if you have seen this one before. From the Daily Mash. Made me laugh, though.


    WORRIED homeowners were cheered last night as economists revealed that next year's house price collapse will lead to widespread starvation and prostitution among Britain's estate agents.

    ImageThe upbeat report says the entire profession will be on the streets begging for food by next August, apart from those who manage to get jobs as sex whores by lying about their previous occupation.

    Professor Wayne Hayes, the Van Hoogstraten chair of prices at the House Institute, said: "Great news, the pin-striped tit-cockers are all going to starve to death. Slowly."

    Bill McKay, 56, a homeowner, said: "When I'm looking around a house I don't need some dick in a lilac shirt telling me 'this is the en-suite bathroom'. I can see it's the en-suite bathroom. It's got a great big ******ing bath in it.

    "I can also tell the difference between a desirable upscale property in a sought after location and a rat-infested bedsit with a brothel on one side and a crack house on the other. Do you think I'm blind, or just stupid?"

    Charles Reeves, 42, said: "Subjects would benefit from modernisation? So previous resident died and rotted into the floorboards and now the whole house will have to be marinaded in Dettol for a year to get rid of the stench."

    Tom Booker, 35, said: "I have to walk two miles to the newsagent because the only things the shops round here sell is houses. I don't care if my place halves in value, I just want to buy a paper."

    Nikki Hollis, 26, said she was looking forward to picking up a cheap second hand Mini once all the estate agents were forced to hand their's back.

    She said: "I would buy one now but I'm worried someone would think I was in the property business and stuff shit up the exhaust."

    According to the report estate agents are currently worth 'absolutely ****** all' to the British economy, which would be £600 billion better off if they all dropped dead overnight.

  4. A few months ago my accountant kept babning on about taking money out of my wife's business and puttig it into commercial property. What with the coming recession I thought he was mad and got fed up of hearing it so I persuaded her to sack him and get a new accountant. Just as well, given that commercial rents and values are now disappearing down a black hole.

  5. Indeed, I think that's why an average drop of 6.8% in London is so shocking. Sellers are having to drop prices an average of 6.8% just get people through the door. Once they have an interested buyer there is every chance that a lower figure will be negotiated (it's unlikely to be higher!)

    Most areas of London have a 'froth factor' of 15-20% added since 2005, a kind of speculators premium that people have been willing to pay while there were double-digit increases. Now those days are behind us, buyers and sellers will be well aware the future next year might be nominal falls or at the very best, tiny sub-inflation 1 or 2% growth.

    Mmm. Several houses in my area going off the market and reappearing a week later with 5 per cent knocked off. This won't do much for confidence, especially as people are now probably starting to tot up what they (over) spent in the run up to Christmas.

    Amazing how everyone believed the Rightmove figures as they moved up but are now treating them with scepticism -'they're only ASKING' prices. Right - what people get will be a few percent lower. Ho ho ho, merry Christmas.

  6. http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.a...p;agentid=13290

    THis has always seemed pretty overpriced . . . (one can buy places in the same development that are twice as big for about half the price).

    BUT - "All of the expensive furniture is included, most of which has been imported around the world. The huge plasma television and computer can also be yours."

    Which makes it a snip at £1.1m, especially since the furniture is so amazingly tasteful and doesn't in any way make me want to scoop out my eyeballs with my bare hands in horror.

    Christ, that sofa looks like a gynaecological model. And since when was Friern Barnet a short ride from Central London? Do they mean by helicopter?

  7. Half a million? Maybe if it was done up.

    "This unique double fronted property is almost triangular in shape..." yep, you've sold me there. I'm sure all my rectangular furniture will fit in nicely...


    Not only does it look like the previous occupant died in there (check out the zimmer frame on wheels and the wheelchair), they've also featured the trolley they must have used to drag out the coffin. I bet if you look closely there's a commode hidden amongst the floral decor - I just haven't spotted it yet.

  8. C'mon, it's only 0.25% as a sop to the government and other assorted whingers. Let's see if they can drop it again after Christmas - my money says that won't be possible. Banks are unwilling to pass on the cut, lending is not so much being pruned as having a Brazillian wax, so costs for borrowers (especially anyone with so much as a hint of bad credit) are going up regardless, and the fact that food prices are soaring means they just don't want to borrow as much as they did. When no-one is willing to shell out a fortune anymore and sentiment changes... hmm. I wonder. Anyway, on a personal note, I might be better off now as the wife is part-paid in dollars each month and hopefully the pound will weaken a bit...

  9. DON'T leave him with your deposit and then try and get it back via small claims. It is notoriously difficult to enforce court orders and you face losing it - especially as the baliffs will be run off their feet in the New Year! All he has to do is move home after selling the flat and you've lost track of him. Just fail to pay the last month's rent. Much less hassle, believe me.

  10. As sent to the wife from a working mums' website earlier.

    Job Title

    Home Based Estate Agents


    Flexible hours to suit


    London & South East, Midlands, Bristol, Cardiff, Liverpool, Manchester

    Company Name

    WOW Property

    Company Description

    We are a young, new, and innovative approach to buying and selling homes in the UK. We provide a full-service estate agency, using the Internet, and efficient business processes to provide home buyers and sellers with a fast high-quality service and value at a fixed price.

    Due to our rapid growth we are seeking highly motivated and polished individuals who want to be part of something NEW and Revolutionary as featured in the Daily Telegraph, Channel 4 and the Daily Express offers vendors a fixed fee of £899 to sell their home.

    We have seen our National Agent Network (NAN) grow to 45 with a planned increase to 200 by December 08. As a WOW Agent, you would be working on a self-employed basis. Please note this is not a franchise and there is NO setup cost or fees required.

    Job Description

    We set up appointment for you to visit potential home sellers from pre-qualified leads. You will visiting the vendor at their home, advising on the Wow services and securing the instruction, agreeing price, taking and writing details such as photographs, measurements and “OpenHouses” where as oppose to having the inconvenience of multiple viewings, we aim to show a minimum of 10 buyers around a property in 60 minutes at a flexible time to yourself. The hours are flexible, to fit around your family commitments.


    The potential is unlimited and the average earnings are approximately £15,000 per annum upwards. You will be paid on property sales, “OpenHouses,” and instructions. Our target is to ensure our agents are successful in their respective territories and in return receive a consistently high income.

    Skills requirements

    An estate agency or sales background is not necessary, however it is essential that you have a confident and outgoing personality with good communication skills. We will provide you with ongoing training, equipment, advice, and support based on our own experiences and that of other Agents as well as all your leads. Home internet access, mobile phone and own transport is essential.

    Low cost, no skills necessary, could probably tuck the baby under your arm while you do it... A threat to high street EAs (the mums might be a bit more personable...)? Or a final demonstration, as if it was needed, of how a monkey in a wig could sell a house to someone who likes it. Discuss.

  11. Ah - I've been up to this recently. Parking was the main consideration (it can be a nightmare at specific times). However - you can argue that it will change the character of the area - are local schools good? Are local parents being forced out of the area because there are no family homes? Luckily for me Bromley's MPs recently sent out a newsletter saying how they were concerned by increasing numbers of high density deveolopments being built in gardens. Our local developer hopes to concrete over the garden to build his hutches, thus lending me another handy objection. Be creative without over-egging the pudding. To those who think I'm a NIMBY, everyone knows that there's a shortage of family housing in London and more 2 bed flats than anyone really wants (it's just that they're forced to live in them as they can't afford a normal house with space and a garden). Once they're converted, that's it - they won't get converted back.

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