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Wario

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About Wario

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  1. Hey! Guys! Guys! I found him!He of Legend. The Only Man in Britain Who Has Never Had Cause To Ring A Customer Helpline. Praise be! I often vacation near CapeTown, MI. Folks round there don't seem much stupider than your average cockney. Or Desi. Am I missing something? [seriously kingers old man, I'm beginning to worry about you. Have you ever actually lived in blighty? Because you don't seem to know a hell of a lot about it. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Perhaps I'm getting old ... ]
  2. From my "Heritage Doley Experience" under Sailor Ted, Sunny Jim and That Bloody Woman, it'd have to be the rock'n'roll every time. Thing is, you can defeat the intention of the system, and survive a whole winter and more with your health intact, simply by staying under a pile of bedding all day, so you're not crucified by the gas and electric, and keeping quality food, or any food at all, to an absolute minimum (tea is a life-saver, we found. Tea and rollups (baccy puts you right off your grub, it's the secret (among many) of how we were all so goddamn thin and dropdead gorgeous back then )). No fridge, no washing machine, only turn the gas oven on in the hardest bit of winter. Fill the buggger with bricks and sit/slouch/huddle round it in army-surplus greatcoats playing poker and (paper!)D&D and supping homebrew etc. No 'phone, no heating, no lighting, no telly, no sodding baths needed (obviously, since the water was free back then, we could indulge in cold ones of a summer morn. Keep interview clothes and so on clean, by simply not wearing any clothes not required for survival inside the bedsit/squat/abandoned factory. Genius! Shoes don't wear out if you've got your feet up. Used to very pricey. Travel costs (invariably the bus, bike not a sensible proposition) are the real killer when working. That and the hypothermia, bronchitis and rheumatism waiting for it to show up. And free dentistry, always a lifesaving bonus. To Make Work Pay┬ęThe Quiet Bald Man I'd reckon you'd have to double the IngSoc MiniWage
  3. To be fair the film-makers must have had to really scrape the barrel of doleys to find suitable subjects who were thicker, uglier, more ignorant and more unemployable than Hayley, just to make the progamme's premise tenable.
  4. Condolences. Ending up by one of the Blair's portfolio elements. Could happen to anyone. Now I know your shitting me! "First Contact", can't be, no Klingon option there.How does it begin?
  5. Including the shareholders and management. Why go to work under those conditions at all? Even if we did "become competitive" with Asia, it'd be five minutes before the directorial orders were whining "those ******* Asian slaves are too expensive! They want bloody rations and everything. We have to make them "competitive" with , er, ... Zimbabweans, or something." Asia can ****** off and die. Can't afford their garbage any more. On account of being all "competitive" and "outsourced" and all. I guess we'll muddle through without it somehow, not like it's the staff of life or owt.
  6. Damn' right, my man! Better get meself off to a big city someplace, where I won't need a car to get to all my part-time jobs. Because I won't be able to afford one, or even run one. Oh, neither will the new guys either. Wonder how they'll get to the plant on time for that critical graveyard shift?
  7. Seems to some kind of thoughtcrime round here. Not constantly striving to maximise one's taxable/marriageable value, that is. No bloody good to me. Just makes the landowners and the (inevitable?) ex fatter. I'd rather have my time, and a bit more headspace.
  8. This is getting a bit annoying. Seems to be the default "solution" for the more socially isolated and unreflective on this forum. Have you any idea how many (formerly S/E in many cases) unemployed/underemployed tradesmen there are out there at the minute? Not counting the hordes of cowboys from the Accession Countries. How is popping a load of Hep2O together beyond the wit of the average householder? The country is heaving with on-the-beach sparkies and pipe-stranglers ( and brickies, and chippies, and ...) About as realistic as proposing that all those pumped out by our grotesquely bad "education system" be retrained as ploughmen. Typical clerk's cop-out. [ed: effing tags, again]
  9. Serves you right for keeping all your dead hair for making up underwear.
  10. o for the love of darwin not another one. I see Bowman got his barmy posts pulled. Why not go the whole hog and call it "animal spirits"? Or give credit to the animal totems of the otherworld? Does anybody on this site have the faintest ******ing idea what genes actually do ? [ed: tag-*****ery]
  11. How do they get from ship to shore? Zodiacs? Choppers? Or will they never need revictualling or drydock ever again? Do you reckon they might end up eating each other?
  12. They've always been uncannily reminiscent of the handloom weavers of Georgian times to me. Loads of political opinion, highly whiggish, nonconformist, veering under stress into outright jacobinism. (For example, Rabbie Burns was supposed to have gone into the linen trade. Luckily for us he was too much of a waster, and died a nonentity). We forget how crucially important textile technology, especially clothing, was before mechanisation, and how expensive. No expeditions to the Northwest Passage or Tahiti without it. No redcoats. These guys were the kings of labour in those days, and reckoned they could tussle for influence over society's form and direction with the hereditary landowners. Their activities were supposed to soak up all the wretches being cleared from the countryside by Enclosures and Clearances, both in England and the conquered territories of Ireland and Scotland. Then some Spocky meddlers invented a load of shit like steam engines, powerlooms, gas-lighting, and so on ...
  13. It's not quantum rockets to figure out they're terrified, is it ? Hapless strivers seeking to accentuate the absolute lack of distance between themselves and the ghouls in The Abyss. They secretly know it's hell on earth. In their nightmares they find themselves in that world, and wake up screaming. And then they write to the Daily Mail. The rich are barely aware of the existence of any of them.
  14. You could really bring that benefits bill right down. There's an old, tried and trusted bit of hibernian fiscal responsibility yet to be deployed. Export all the doleys to The Other Island.
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