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Posts posted by BigLog

  1. Not possible. I've never had the affluent lifestyle you describe, so I can't lose it.

    And while I have had a couple of years of plenty recently, if they mount up to 20 (an unlikely eventuality, to be sure) I shall be in the position to draw a pension from what will, by then, be a seven-figure fund.

    I worked in Pension's companies, the odds are stacked against you to live long enough to draw much if anything, there's a life lesson there for you.

  2. I sincerely hope you did not mean that. As the OP has posted, she has a job that pays peanuts. But, being a kept woman, she could have saved ALL that money. Even a cleaner would be well off after saving 20 years worth of salary.

    She just did not keep any (or enough) for the rainy day, and yet still expects to live at the same level that she did. Tough, but maybe she and her children would do well to tighten their belts a bit.

    If you think this is a sob story, just wait a few more years. There's much more pain to come.

    No she couldn't have saved all that money, I know her / there situation.

    It's funny isn't it, that both a MAN and a WOMAN are needed to produce a child, but here she is being LUMBERED with 4 children to look after them FULL TIME and with NO MAN who was responsible for those 4 children standing up to their responsibilities LIKE A MAN.

    Where's your criticism of the men involved here ??

  3. I should probably have added: if this was someone I knew and cared about, of course I'd be looking to help.

    But sometimes the best help you can give (short of becoming a sugar-daddy for life) is a cold shower to adjust expectations. IIRC there's a biblical story about saving through seven years of plenty to survive seven of shortage. A person who has failed to save through twenty years of plenty needs her expectations adjusted, and I've identified two candidates for that based on nothing more than what you posted.

    How very judgmental of you.......

    So when a woman stays at home for 20years to look after her 3 (then 4) children, whilst her partner (common law Husband) goes to work and provides, and who later on in life develops depression causing marital breakdown, sh*theads like you expect her to have saved for 20years for that eventuality ??

    Like I said, you have no compassion nor any proper advice to provide apart from hindsight.

    I sincerely hope the same happens to you one day to teach you a life lesson.

  4. Doesn't look uncharitable to me: this post seems designed to press all the buttons of "why should we [taxpayers] pay for this person to go on living an overprivileged lifestyle most of us will never be able to afford, but to which she has hitherto helped herself?"

    The never-never house and lots of sprogs might've been just a person with a lifelong expectation of being 'kept'. But school fees are a step too far by any sane standard! Get rid of those and the car, and she might start to get some sympathy from those of us who think the person who said "God helps those who help themselves" was making a sensible point.

    Oh stop it please - where is your compassion ??

    She was in a relationship for 20years. Him an Art Valuer at 'posh Auction house (which you'd all have heard of)' , her a Ballet School Teacher. They weren't your common wayne-waynetta types (sorry, but you're even making me make judgements here).

    And they were together for 20years - him developing Depression during that time.

    So 3 children during that time does not seem unreasonable.

    I suppose if she did marry him and then took him (legally) to the cleaners via the courts, your tone would then be what exactly ?? That she was a gold digger and that the legal system is unfair ??

    I, as a man, have heard tooooooo many stories of irresponsible men who seem to think that the responsibility of providing for THEIR child stopped the moment after their relationship broke down (sooner if I'm being blunt).

    That makes ME personally ashamed to be a member of the male species.

    ......just re-read your post and realised you're very ignorant. Go re-read my posts. Children 1&2 are on scholarships - do you understand what that means ?? Child 3 is paid for by P1 and is expected to get a scholarship in 2 years time or he'll go to a state school - it's child 4 from P2 that is this issue here as that little girl is a 3 year old and they're are about to lose their home due to a drunk fool. Therein lies the problem.

  5. I take it she can't get help from her previous partner - has she got the child support people involved (or threatened to)?

    I know you say "nice ordinary people", but it sounds as if she has picked two consecutive deadbeats (what was his illness?) and this has been coming for a long time.

    I think she is probably going to have to get repossessed; if she has 4 children presumably she will be fairly high up on the housing list. If her partner is drunk and vindictive he can probably stymie any scheme such as renting the house out that she comes up with. In order to separate from him she is probably going to have to lose the house.

    With the summer vacation coming up fast are her students going to move on? That will compound the problem.

    I can't see any way out of it except to live at a reasonable level (stocking up on kids clothing, car repairs etc) then stop paying the mortgage and wait to be repossessed. Stuff any spare cash under the mattress not in the bank!

    Thanks Cartimanua51,

    She does get some help from previous partner - he pays the child school fees for child number 3 (the first 2 children are on scholarships).

    I think she has got the CSA involved but p*ss-head has 5 children in total (not from 2 relationships either from what I remember).

    The illness for number 1 is depression. They are still both on speaking terms and it sounds as though they did give it and their relationship a very good go.

    The Drunkard's suggestion was for her to get out of the house and for them both to rent the house as an empty unit. When she confronted him with 'and where are me and your daughter supposed to live' he said it wasn't his problem.

    Yes, you are dead right about the students / lodger. The lodger has already found a flat to move to in the next week. The students are foreign and are going back to their home countries in the next 2 weeks.

    She is quite a posh lady (so ?!) and her 1st partner is a Valuer for a well known Auction house (fine art etc). Partner number 2 was a dreadful mistake by all accounts.

    Not sure what you mean by stocking up. Her job earns her peanuts (and I mean that literally).

    My advice to her was to try and save the house (as I'm convinced the uprooting of her posessions would be devastating for her). She's thinking of buying a shipping container and putting all her stuff in that and storing it somewhere.

    To be honest, the more I think of it, the more it makes me really sad........

    Thanks for your help - it really is appreciated.

  6. Hi,

    I've got a female friend who is in a terrible situation - she is unmarried, her partner has left her in a deep mess.

    She had 3 children from a previous 20year relationship (never married). She then left him (due to his illness which she could no longer cope with) and later on found a partner whom she had a little girl with (3 year old).

    They (partner 2 and her) bought a house in joint names (I repeat, they didn't get married).

    He, subsequently left her in the house all by herself which she has had to keep afloat using students and lodgers - and he paid towards the house by way of voluntary contributions (apparently he has a drink problem).

    Recently, he had a bicycle accident and has been unable to work (he is a film editor). So he hasn't been able to pay towards the house.

    Basically, they are on an interest only mortgage and without his support, she is going to lose the house.

    He is playing serious silly buggers because whatever equity is in the house (not a lot) he is determined to make sure that she doesn't get any (even if he doesn't either).

    To me, a bystander, this doesn't sound right.

    A woman with 4 children is about to be made homeless because of a drunk idiot who won't even take care of his own 3year old child.

    Please, what suggestions can you make ??

    This is very upsetting and unsettling for her and her children - who are very ordinary, nice people.

    Please, serious suggestions.

    She has gone to a Solicitor and CAB and neither have been much help.

    She really doesn't have a pot to p*ss in (she drives around with loose change to cope with food, petrol etc).

    Thanks in advance.

  7. Just worth reminding new readers of the world according to dogbox (the first post followed - by 49 pages of bewilderment was here ) :

    As some of u know I recently bought in Berlin.

    My next target is Morocco, here's why:

    * No income Tax on the rent (double Taxation agreement applies so no UK Tax will apply) - note I am only looking at high quality property within a low rise, low density mega resort (classy though) with 3 18 hole golf courses, hospital, equestrian centre, polo pitch, water parks, gucci and other leading retailers on sight, 800 berth marina, and my property has a 60 year mooring berth (very rare) all fully managed including the rent side, forested green area, full security, restaurants, cinemas, Olympic pools, bowling alley, shopping centre - all very tastefuly done in Moroccon style by UK and Spanish builders - so renting will be easy).

    *Capital Gains Taxed above £60k @ 20% in first 5 years. Between 5 - 10 years its 10%. After 10 years its 0.

    *The King has announced 'plan Azur', which aims to have Morocco become a premier destination by 2010.

    *Huge developments - Dubai style are underway backed by none other than Emaar Properties

    *An 8km tunnel will link Gibralter to Tangiers by 2008

    *The 'stars' are moving in. The Beckhams, Jude Law and Brad Pitt have recently bought - this is important, it sets the trends.

    *An 'open skies' agreement has been signed and the Government guarantee world class airport upgrades by 2010.

    *Ryan Air have announced flights to beginn by this summer

    *White sand, huge beaches so much more attractive than the black sand Canary Islands and over 1 hour clser.

    *'Exotic, yet close'

    *Huge infrastructure improvements underway. The Americans are investing billions in new ports.

    *Its just a hop from Spain BUT PRICES UP TO 10 X LOWER

    *Im buying off - plan yet only part with 40%. The balance in 2009, yet I can sell on at any point. So my 40% leveredges me into 100% exposure to the market

    Once the public begin holidaying here 'en mass' the stampede will begin. IT WILL HAPPEN, JUST LIKE MEXICO HAS (and Mexico is much farther away).

    Spain is yesterdays news and Morocco is almost as close.

    I think Im about to sign up for a villa - www.lejardindefleur.com (more MEW Im afraid). Within the most prestigious development - Saidia. £180k right on an 18 hole Golf course (3 to choose), marina and u get 60 year mooring rights for £10k!!!!!!!

    Olympic pools, gated community, cinema, polo, equestrian centre, on the beach(6 km white sand), backed by snow capped mountains, forested area, plentiful water from mountains, on site Swiss rental company.

    Villa has own pool. Fully serviced. Free membership to the club house. £180K!!!!! Totally safe gated development, all low rise, hospital on site.

    Gucci and many others already purchased the shops surrounding the Marina - I wonder why?

    The same at La Manga in Spain would be £1m +.

    Rent for £4000 per week or more once site becomes well known. £60 per month maintenance charge includes pool maintenance and gardener. I think it will rent all year given the Golf and huge variety of quality facilities and year round climate. But even if it only rents for say 35 weeks and even if I only get say £1500 per week (which wont happen), the yield is still exceptionally high.

    The bit I really like is only having to part with 40% for 3 years. Ok no yield on the 40% so I loose say £3600 pa interest, but I genuinely expect the value to more than double over 3 years. I look at property all over the world and have found nothing of this quality for the price this close to home. Places such as Bulgaria are way less important given the short season and lack of feel good sun factor.

    Villas come fully furnished right down to tea spoons.

    This post has been edited by dogbox: 10 April 2006 - 01:17 PM

    How it looked earlier this year .....


    Some of us (me and Catara) did try very hard to warn others.

    Unfortunately people only hear what they want to hear.

  8. Sorry mon ami. Didn't mean to get your gander up on purpose. Accept my apologies, svp.

    But here's my first reply to you, pasted above. Do you notice the 2 wink/smileys. That suggests a wry smile/tongue in cheek reply. Wasn't meant to mean anything more than that. Sorry if you interpretated otherwise. :(

    My apologies to you too as well.

    I was only trying to help the OP by bringing his attention to things that maybe he hadn't considered (and I really didn't know the word awesome was going to cause such offence). Of course my French would be 'under the table' compared to other people's (and so on and so on etc !).

    Learning a language takes a lifetime IMO and, what amazed/frustrated me about my own abilities was the deluge of basic everyday words I simply didn't know (and how many others I didn't know and hadn't even considered). And if you're ever in a situation that calls for immediate natural speech, quickly (like say in a dispute, a car accident, something where no one is going to give you any slack, you will have your work cut out).

    Another example. The last dinner party I was at there was a Belgium who claimed his French was perfect (yes, there we go again) - we had a similar discussion as here (though no trading insults !) and I then simply asked him if he knew the word for 'puddle' in French ?? He didn't and there and then I'd made my point.

    Anyway, posting like this, it can be hard to make my point, so, I apologise a 2nd time to you too - no offence was ever my initial intention !

    Kindest regards.


  9. Care to contribute anything worthwhile to the original post or are you just going to act like a juvenile until the thread dies a death....... :rolleyes:

    Ha ha.

    That's a bit rich coming from you.

    I know you have issues comprehending written English, but re-read your 1st post to me. In that you insult me no less than 3 times (in the first 2 sentences, claiming this that and the other and making huge assumptions about my abilities and then finishing off claiming linguistic superiority when you know nothing about me).

    All I seemed to have done is use the word 'awesome' and you've blown a gasket (the reason I'd used that word was two-fold; 1) several times I'd meet French people who mistakenly thought I was French - which of course wouldn't be just on accent now would it !? DOH !! and 2) I have an issue with people who claim to speak a language 'perfectly' when I know that they are no where near perfect, in fact the opposite).

  10. Nope. You could mimic a French accent. I can teach a parrot to do the same ;)

    By your own admission, you failed to grasp the main tenets of the language, it's nuances , relevance to its culture, it's slang etc.

    My French accent is acceptable but still sounds "foreign" to every French person I meet.

    Unlike you, I can watch tv, read the broadsheets, talk, laugh at French humour (yes, it exists ! ) et al.

    I only NEED to speak English when a Brit tourist asks me for help in the local Carrefour....... ;)

    I think you need to brush up on your English, I didn't say I couldn't do any of those things (I said just not as good as I'd have liked).

    And maybe your standards are a lot lower than mine. Sorry, no 'maybe'.

  11. If you really could speak other languages you would understand this. You think in the other language. Otherwise you are translating while you go (which shows you are very clever and quick witted) but you don't really "speak" the language. My German fits this description and its (admittedly) very annoying and at times you stop and go back to something else.

    Not sure what you mean by this, but I'm taking it that you don't believe me ?? :angry:

    I spoke awesome French (and I mean awesome) but 'knowing' a language is knowing it at MANY levels. Can you argue in French ?? Can you negotiate in French ?? Can you recite a poem in French ?? Can you appreciate a comedian's sense of humour in French ?? Can you read broadsheet French newspapers ?? Can you understand a teenage French 'yob' who slurs his words and talks 'slang' ??

    These are just SOME of the things that I, with my 'awesome' French couldn't do 100% and that is VERY frustrating. Can you speak French with a neutral accent ?? I could, other Frenchmen would praise me endlessly, but pronouncing French perfectly (from the back of the throat - guttural sound's if I remember correctly) is not an easy task - most English people cannot do this.

    And that's even before we go onto writing anything (CV, legal letter, letter of complaint, covering letter for a job whatever etc etc).

    I'm genuinely not trying to put the OP off, just highlighting the sorts of obstacle's just the language itself will present.

  12. I lived abroad for 5 years, learnt the languages, integrated as much as I could (in fact hated to meet another English person!), but personally I found it too hard, and ended up returning to the UK (albeit in a much better location to the one I left and albeit for reasons other than the culture / language).

    But here are my personal observations......

    There are SO many things to consider when moving abroad, that I'd be surprised you'll have thought of them all (in fact I know you won't).

    Firstly, take a look at your local knowledge in the UK. You're not even aware of it, because it's second nature to you.

    Example (and in NONE of my examples am I trying to slag people/locations off). If I said "Wigan", immediately it conjures something up in your mind, no matter how small that conception is (about the area, the type of demography, the people who originate there, the nightclubs, the class of people, the accent etc etc you understand ??). If you were to bump into someone with an accent from 'up north', again, a zillion things / thoughts would pass through your mind (subconsciously). In another country, this cannot happen because you simply haven't lived there long enough. Ask yourself, will you be able to spot a rogue french plumber if one tried to rip you off ?? Or a crafty 'cockney' type frenchman ??

    You might meet a woman over there who may be ticking all the right boxes, and again, because of your lack of experience / language deficiencies she may actually be a right slapper and because you're all cooey because she has a french accent you wouldn't have any idea at all !!

    Do you understand what I'm trying to say ??

    Television also. You'll see 'celebrities' on the box and have no idea who they are (they could be the most famous people in France and you wouldn't have a clue).

    In a nutshell, you'll lose your identity as you're neither French, but at the same time bitter about England and that'll put you in never never land.

    Oh, and another thing that comes to mind, is trust me, after a while, physically your mouth (NOT to forget your mind) will get fed up of trying to speak another language which is NOT your own 100% of the time (again, it's a MAJOR uphill struggle to command any 2nd language to anywhere near the command of your own native tongue - trust me, I know, I speak 4 and none of them can match my English because I haven't spent my lifetime learning the others).

    Finally, you may know in England, how to 'play' the system. In France you'll be stumped big time, you'll be the most naive kid on the block.

    But then again, if your a really chilled out kind of guy that won't find any of the above frustrating............

  13. This is a very interesting thread - might I add my comments.

    1) Why would anyone want to retire at 55 ?? In fact, why would anyone want to retire at all ????

    I've never understood the idea of retiring - it's like getting to the final chapter in one's life as quickly as possible. I feel as though we are only on this world for a brief time, and most people just want to 'take', how about contributing to the end ?? Perhaps it's just that there are SO many people out there who hate their jobs and can't wait to leave it (in which case, why not find a job you love and which you'd hate to have to ever leave it) ??

    2) Eating out ?? Funnily, as I've gotten more and more obsessed with healthy eating, the last thing I'd dream of doing is going to the Indian or Italian a few times a week (keep doing that and you won't be needing to worry about Retiring!!!).

    3) Holidays ??? Again, it's like people are soooo stressed, so much hate their work that they have to get away for 2-4 weeks a year to take the 'pain' away.

    Just my personal observation.


  14. Almost everybody who tell's me they've been to Morocco 'for just a day' - it was usually to Tangiers.

    Then when you ask what they thought, they'll usually say that they didn't like it.

    This reaction is so consistent / common.

    Unfortunately, it's because of the VERY reason Michael has said - it used to have such a bad reputation as it is within the first 5 minutes that you get this terrible impression that the whole of Morocco is just like that entrance from Tangiers port.

    I haven't been there for at least 3-4 years, so I'm sure that it's improved a lot - but when I arrived over 5 years ago (by car) it wasn't a pleasant experience at all.

    Asilah, however is really nice (the sea / beach that is) - very calm.

  15. It's good to see the 'old' crowd back together, all we need is dogbox and we can write another 300 pages.

    P.S. Not embarrassed, phlegmatic.

    I remembered the other one..... The Soup Dragon !!

    Not sure whether phlegmatic is the right word - more like 'stunned into silence'.......

    Yeah, good ole Dogbox, where is he now I wonder ?? Back on the C4 forum ??

    Anyway ES, glad to see you're still in denial.....

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