Welcome to the nhs credit crunch stressline this is a recording.All of our councellors are busy right now.Please hold.
Cue music...Things can only get better
You are through to the nhs credit crunch stressline to enable us to deal with your call more effectively please choose one of the following options:
For.. a little bit cheesed off...Press 1
For.. very pissed off and lost your job ...Press 2
For.. lost my job,no money ,the mrs has fecked off and I'm losing the house....Press 3
For ..General feeling of despair ..Press 4
If lines are busy call back later....but please do call