piece of paper

Leap back 25 years. "Consolidate all your borrowings into one mortgage over 25 years". p-o-p

They could build a house museum next to the tulip museum. p-o-p

I'm surprised that Amazon hasn't the buying clout to insist that suppliers package all goods in a robot-friendly fashion. These 'jobs' are temporary and will disappear as soon as robots are able to replace them. That won't be long. p-o-p

They get sent on a three day "IT skills" training course to learn how to prepare their CVs using MS-Word? p-o-p

Did your uncle lay down a pipe of port for you as a christening present? No? You're working class. p-o-p

Ercol. p-o-p

The bakery industry has indulged in a silly price war. Burt on second thoughts, they should have all been able to keep a slice of the market. p-o-p

The girl is being played. There is an important legal point involving human rights legislation. The solicitors involved in establishing the point have cherry picked an benefit claimant who is well suited to what they want to show. If they had chosen someone who was not already a volunteer, had no qualifications and was a full-time Kyle watcher, their case would be weakened. p-o-p

Not advocating it but that type of property is more likely to have an architect's certificate than an NHBC. p-o-p

It might be a reflection of how banks view each other but they now take as long to clear as any other cheques. p-o-p

Paddy Power, LSE or similar gambling establishments. p-o-p

So what happened to the other 105bn? Small change nowadays but it must still show somewhere. p-o-p

Dear Mr Estate Agent, Could you contact the council again to establish which councilors I need to approach with brown envelopes of cash in order to receive a more favourable reply. Yours etc"

What does Mr Willetts other brain think? p-o-p

Why? Have they left the EU already? p-o-p

"I always reduce my performance to a level where all my colleagues are able to feel superior regardless of colour, gender, sexual orientation etc. I am proud to say that this has given rise to the impression that I am capable of wrecking everything I touch." p-o-p

Absolutely fine when compared to the French and their savings. Perhaps not quite so good when compared with price of a loaf of bread. p-o-p

no tunnel = no eurostar p-o-p

They could dress the "quasi private police" as Roman Catholics. There was understandable concern that Jesus might descend and address the protestors from the top of the dome in breach of the working at heights regulations. p-o-p

Hasn't Merv signed up this time? p-o-p

Here www.consilium.europa.eu/media/1216793/esm%20treaty%20en.pdf p-o-p

Is she not a lightbulb? Can she not be unscrewed? p-o-p

Is that the new name for an ex-spouse's driving licence counterpart sheet? p-o-p

They knew this a long time ago. 2012 is when pensions are due to be linked to earnings rather than the inflation indeces. http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/pensions/article-1694865/Pensions-earnings-link-to-return-in-2012.html p-o-p

£2.6M in three years? Is that the best the Telegraph can come up with? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-15335242 Never mind the amount of the expenses, get rid of the numbers receiving them. Local Authority staff should be included in a public sector that makes up no more than 15% of the employed workforce. p-o-p