The Onion: Thousands Of Abandoned, Foreclosed Homes Threatened By Florida Hurricane

"Those who haven't already lost everything to the housing-market crash are urged to evacuate their homes immediately," said Robert Menken, head meteorologist at the National Weather Bureau. "That should be about 10 or 12 of you. Everyone else, please stay where you are, probably on the couch of some in-law who lives near Atlanta."..."It's a ghost town around here," said Fort Myers native Carol Hodge, who saw some of the neighborhood's last few squatters flee on Monday. "Or, rather, more of a ghost town. People haven't really lived in this county since 2008."