Daily Mash: HBOS RISK CONTROL RUN BY EVEL KNEIVEL

THE risk control department at HBOS was run by Evel Kneivel for nearly a decade, it emerged last night.Former executives revealed how the late US daredevil would approve multi-billion pound transactions while snorting cocaine off the buttocks of the prostitute he had been with drinking with all night. Tom Logan, a former HBOS accountant, said: "From about 1999 onwards the bank's business model was based very closely on Mr Kneivel's book Jumping the Grand Canyon on a Rocket Bike: A New Approach to Financial Risk."He rubber-stamped all the major deals. I remember how it was always slightly awkward going into his office, what with all the skanks and whores."We would give him a quick summary of the proposed transaction and then he'd bang the table and shout, 'f*** this pansy-ass shit!'