Friday, Jan 30, 2009
Crash Gordon leads the fight to save planet Earth
BBC 'Government backed' news: Brown urges global 'confidence'
'Crash' Gordon Brown today urged world leaders to love the financial crisis as much as he is
He called for "clear reforms" of the financial system to be agreed at the G20 meeting of leading economies in April to rebuild trust in banks. In other words he told the forum that we his "glass is half full" moment and if they said the right things their respective populations would be as stupid as the british and not realise that all these countries had been sleep walking into financial meltdown.
"Crash" said, "There was a real risk that if banks restricted lending to domestic customers only this would harm global trade and exacerbate the economic downturn." - In other words please lend to our british banks or someoene will realise that the banks I have saved are actually insolvent
3 Comments
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1. charlie brooker said...
Like wisdom, confidence is best not received.
Besides, wasn't the last decade one big confidence trick?
2. shining wit said...
I posted this yesterday and as it took me all of 15 minutes to compose I'm posting it again:
__________________________________________________________________________
The Princess Kirsty: "Crash Gordon is approaching!"
The Emperor Merv-Ming the Merciless: "Later posh bird, I like to play with things a while before annihilation."
The Princess Kirsty: "Crash, Crash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the property market!"
Crash Gordon: "D'nay worry chubby one, d'nay people of Britain, I have miwyuns and miwyuns of our great british pooonds, straight off the printing press and still warm, and a devilish plan to make the banking industry and the markets so traans-pearant that no-one can see through them anymore, they will start lending out these worthless bits of paper and be able to give you 500,000 of them for your tiny two bedroom terraced hoooses in swindon once more, and then we will flood the banks with bailooot after bailooot and save the country from annihilation and another 18 years of useless tory government by the end of trading on Friday!"
The Princess Kirsty: "Look! Water is leaking from there eyes Crash?"
The Emperor Merv-Ming the Merciless: "It's what they call tears, it's a sign of their weakness, they have no trust funds to rely on, no buy-to-let properties for their pensions, no fat TV presenter salaries and no pay-off from their over inflated city bonus culture jobs, they will be lying at our feet begging for crusts of bread before the day is over."
The Princess Kirsty: "Thank the lord they aren't French or we really would be in the ****, f-na, f-naa, f-naaa!"
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