Friday, May 30, 2008
And they don't mean Kirstie & Phil
Timesonline: There goes the neighbourhood: bloodsuckers thrive on credit slump
Of all the crises triggered by America's property crash, the economists never predicted a plague of blood-sucking mosquitoes — spawned in the stagnant swimming pools of unsold or abandoned luxury homes.
The phenomenon is threatening to turn into a disaster for cities such as Las Vegas, where land values in some areas tripled every year during the boom, prompting developers to build thousands of million-dollar mansions, complete with lavishly proportioned swimming pools and outdoor Jacuzzis.
Posted by lvmreader @ 11:06 PM (820 views) Add Comment
16 Comments
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1. lvmreader said...
Mortgage!
To be sung to the tune of Thriller! by Michael Jackson
It's close to midnight
something evil's lurkin' in the dark [Kirstie & Phil]
Under the moonlight
You see a sight that almost stops your heart [Rate Hike]
You try to pay
Inflation takes the payment before you make it
You start to freeze
As horror looks you right between the eyes
Wage paralyzed
'Cause this is Mortgage
Mortgage night
And no one's gonna save you
From the rate about to hike
You know it's Mortgage
Mortgage night
You're fighting for your life
Inside a killer
Mortgage tonight, yeah
You hear the door slam
And realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand
And wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes
And hope that this is just imagination
Girl, but all the while
You hear a creature creepin' up behind [Kirstie Allsop]
You're outta time
'Cause this is Mortgage
Mortgage night
There ain't no second chance
Against the thing with the forty bips girl
(Mortgage)
(Mortgage night)
You're fighting for your life
Inside a killer
Mortgage tonight
Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade [Foxtons]
There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life
They're out to get you
There's bailiffs closing in on every side
They'll repossess you
Unless you change that number on your dial
Now is the time
For you and I to cuddle on that DFS sofa
All through the night
I'll save you from the terror on the screen
I'll make you see
That this is Mortgage
Mortgage night
'Cause I can lend you more
Than Mervyn King would ever dare try
(Mortgage)
(Mortgage night)
So let me hold you tight
And share a
(killer, diller, chiller)
(Mortgage here tonight)
'Cause this is Mortgage
Mortgage night
Girl, I can lend you more
Than Mervyn King would ever dare try
(Mortgage)
(Mortgage night)
So let me hold you tight
And share a
(killer, Mortgage)
I'm gonna thrill you tonight
Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood [Estate Agents]
To terrorize y'all's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without deposit for putting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside their house's shell
I'm gonna hike you tonight
(Mortgage, Mortgage)
I'm gonna hike you tonight
(Mortgage night, Mortgage))
I'm gonna hike you tonight
I'm gonna hike you tonight
Mortgage night, babe
[Rap]
The foulest stench is in the air [Nu Labour]
The worst results in 40 years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb [bankers, bailiffs and other knobcheeses]
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your wallet will haemorrhage
for no mere mortal can resist
the evil of the Mortgage
2. lvmreader said...
Property bugs
— The Mandarin Oriental hotel in Knightsbridge, London, faced a multimillion-dollar compensation claim in 2007 after an American lawyer and his wife were bitten hundreds of times by bed bugs during a five-night stay
— Luxury mansions in Gauteng, Johannesburg, were infested by three varieties of rat in 2006
— Residents in a luxury apartment complex in Jersey City, US, were plagued by cockroaches living in an empty apartment this month
— The Upper East Side of New York suffered a bed-bug infestation in 2007. A council official wanted to ban sales of reconditioned mattresses
3. markj69 str05 said...
Someone has spare time on their hands. I don't suppose it was written by a disgruntled ex-estate agent?
Not bad though.
4. markj69 str05 said...
Ooops, Just to clarify, point 3 directed at point 1.
5. Gettinglikemymother said...
Why don't they just drain the pools, for heaven's sake?
6. icarus said...
Estate Agent: "Don't worry sir, they're not malarial".
7. quiet guy said...
I think lvmreader's 'Mortgage' is great. Good material for a YouTube video. Ideally, all the zombie actors would be played by well known property bulls.
Fancy your hand at a bit of acting Kirsty, Stuart et al. ?
8. uncle tom said...
If anyone wants a serious solution to the problem (do we have any lurkers from the US here??) - tip a quart of diesel into the pool - the bugs can't do their stuff through a film of oil!
9. markj69 str05 said...
@UT - That would also increase the property price significantly.
10. drewster said...
UT yes this particular problem is easily solved, but it just goes to show what unintended consequences there are to the building boom. Other problems (in America) include abandoned homes being turned into crack dens; homes being turned into cannabis factories; fly-tipping on the front lawns; structurally unsound houses collapsing; fires raging out of control; and more. When there's just one empty house on a street then the neighbours keep an eye on it. But in places like Cleveland, Ohio where entire streets are being abandoned, the problems are worse.
11. paul said...
UT, any oil will do the trick - even a bottle of olive oil.
12. paul said...
lvm I think your thriller analogy is a bit stretched, but
a) You are the orinigial conspiracy theorist.
b) "And they don't mean Kirstie & Phil" is rather good.
c) Speaking personally, you have been proven more right than other conspiracy theorists on this site, so you maintain some respect from me.
S2R1, take note. personally I will not hold truck with numerologists. You are a reasonable person but recently you've gone all ranty and silly.
13. mark said...
the hotel we are in , in vegas has emptied one pool due to a drought....
14. lvmreader said...
@Paul,
Thank you for the compliment ( I think). But please, do define "conspiracy theorist" for me.
Point out the things I have uttered which are "conspiracy theories".
In all cases, I will respectfully reply.
Was it the CDO predictions? Or the Oil predictions? How about the synthetic CDO stuff?
15. jimmy_joe said...
"the hotel we are in , in vegas has emptied one pool due to a drought...."
A drought in the desert? Who'd have thunk it!
Is it really a drought or has the fact that their lifestyle is unsustainable finally dawned, and they're cutting back to something more appropriate?
16. indiablue19 said...
Oh, here we go rocket science again! Drain the flaming pool why doncha? If we can't overcome THIS mind-boggler, why bother saving the species [homo sapiens that is] at all.