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Olympics Opening Ceremony


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#1 juvenal

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:22 PM

I've noted that punk luminary Johnny Rotten wants no part of this national beano, but his words in the Independenti today raise anew fears of the acute embarrassment I experienced at our UK effort at Bejing's Olympic Closing Cermenony.

Remember Boris in his rumpled-uncle suit? His bafflement at holding and waving a flag? The appearance of a bus (like a Triang toy in that vast arena) with an old rock star, a soccer player and a motley bunch of multicultural 'dancers' aboard?

'They're going to do this thing', said Johnny, 'Where celebrities go around the stadium on the back of flat-top lorries. So there will be Naomi Campbell in a Vivienne Westwood dress, followed by Madness doing 'Baggy Trousers'...'

Oh dear. Sounds horribly like the Parade of Floats at Wareham Town Carnival.....

I have visions of an Eddie Stobart mechanic, lower legs visible under a broken-down lorry, as Madness bravely launch into their other number, shouting "Tommy! Have you got a ******* adjustable?"...

Edited by juvenal, 19 April 2012 - 12:28 PM.

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#2 hotairmail

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:28 PM

I don't suppose half the planet (India and China) have even heard of them. So it won't be very interesting for them.

I think they would be more impressed by lots of people dancing and fireworks. The Chinese use the Red Army, the Indians its railway workers....perhaps we could mobilise the entire NHS.

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#3 thecrashingisles

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:28 PM

'They're going to do this thing', said Johnny, 'Where celebrities go around the stadium on the back of flat-top lorries. So there will be Naomi Campbell in a Vivienne Westwood dress, followed by Madness doing 'Baggy Trousers'...'


Sounds dire. I thought Cool Britannia was dead and buried.

#4 TheCountOfNowhere

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:29 PM

I can guarantee...it will be the most expensive open ceremony in history....and we will all be paying for it for years. :angry:

#5 Frank Hovis

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:32 PM

Couldn't give a monkey's what they do, I won't be watching it.
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#6 Big Orange

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:35 PM

At least the New Year's firework display was impressive...

#7 Bloo Loo

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:36 PM

snip

I have visions of an Eddie Stobart mechanic, lower legs visible under a broken-down lorry, as Madness bravely launch into their other number, shouting "Tommy! Have you got a ******* adjustable?"...


you are clearly not thinking of the weeks of realtime telly they can make out of this.

the days of anguish of the Stobart driver trying to get there on time, the right bagginess for the Madness trousers, just the right amount of sick on the track for that perfect UK atmosphere...
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#8 Diver Dan

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:36 PM

I can guarantee...it will be the most expensive open ceremony in history....and we will all be paying for it for years. :angry:


They're planning to reuse the countdown timer to show how long until it's all finally paid off - They'll need to add a few extra digits to it first though.

Interestingly, the 1948 games was run on an absolute show-string budget and managed to turn a fairly healthy profit.
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#9 cashinmattress

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:39 PM

Why not have some of your silly morris dancers leading the ceremony?

#10 Spot

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:42 PM

I can guarantee...it will be the most expensive open ceremony in history....and we will all be paying for it for years. :angry:

I'm sure you will be proved correct and i'm sure we'll be looking at it thinking "where did the money go? This is sh1t".

#11 Scary

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:42 PM

I don't suppose half the planet (India and China) have even heard of them. So it won't be very interesting for them.

I think they would be more impressed by lots of people dancing and fireworks. The Chinese use the Red Army, the Indians its railway workers....perhaps we could mobilise the entire NHS.


Counting on Al Qaeda to provide the fireworks?

#12 hotairmail

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:46 PM

Why not have some of your silly morris dancers leading the ceremony?




:lol: The really great thing about being English, we get to pay for your Commonwealth Games too.

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#13 rantnrave

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:49 PM

At least the New Year's firework display was impressive...

They should copy the guys at Oban - compressing a 20 minute display into under 60 seconds by accident...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6QtigLJD_4

#14 Bloo Loo

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:53 PM

They should copy the guys at Oban - compressing a 20 minute display into under 60 seconds by accident...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6QtigLJD_4


what would have filled the other 19 minutes?
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#15 porca misèria

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 01:00 PM

Don't they still have that "olympic torch" thingey introduced by the Nazis to symbolise the glory of the master race?

If you or I paraded around the country with a symbol like that and big publicity, I expect we'd be locked up.




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