Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

I Want To Be Alone: The Rise And Rise Of Solo Living


  • Please log in to reply
244 replies to this topic

#91 MrPin

MrPin

    Mild Irritant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,896 posts
  • Location:Turnip Land
  • About Me:Fount of wisdom, and pinnacle of taste!

Posted 01 April 2012 - 07:39 AM

.....not that desperate!.....which makes you wonder why there are some that stay in relationships that are dysfunctional, with emotional or physical abuse with no mutual respect between each other...like walking on eggshells......I can't think of anything that could be worse .....being solo after living in those circumstances must be like being freed from prison....why do people continue to stay? why are they scared of turning their lives around for the better? :unsure:


We fear change! :unsure: :blink:
Ignorance can be cured! Stupidity cannot!

#92 winkie

winkie

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 25,493 posts

Posted 01 April 2012 - 07:42 AM

We fear change! :unsure: :blink:



...so is that one reason why some who leave prison try and find a way back into one? :P
What you don't owe won't worry you.

Less can be more.

#93 TwoWolves

TwoWolves

    HPC Regular

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 947 posts
  • Location:London

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:18 AM

Spot on. Take out the family unit, communities, etc etc. Increase immigration to further destroy any unity. All part of the plan.


Agreed, and typical Guardian crap too.

There's always been single people and the statistics look bad because as we live longer and women live longer than men you get more single older women in the stats. Wait until the next credit crunch, every single woman under 50 will be grasping for a solvent man like their lives depended on it.

#94 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:21 AM

Everyone is different awake eagle. I know there are 1000's of very lonely people out there and I wish I could make them less so. My ex mother in law lost her husband and misses having some one to look after, she is very lonely so we encourage her to go out and, hopefully, find someone else she can have a meaningful relationship with. Me, I don't want someone else. People may find this odd but I am happy and believe I will still be happy in 10 years time. I certainly don't want a partner just incase I have a chronic illness; how selfish is that? I would rather shoot myself!!



Loneliness is a terrible thing. I think it is one of the life lessons to learn to deal with or change.
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#95 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:26 AM

In theory.

In practice the woman still seems to get custody of the kids, as happened in the case of my cousin. He gave up his career with unsocial hours as the manager of a large hotel to take care of the kids whilst his wife worked her way up a law firm via/into a partner's bed. She asked him if she could keep the house to provide stability for their daughter, ostensibly so that she could be in contact with her local friends and go to the same school. It was under contract for sale 2 weeks after he had signed it over and the ex-wife moved the kids 3000km away. The poor guy moved into a shed on his brother's property and hasn't been able to buy a house since due to the crazy prices.

But when it came to custody, guess who got the kids: the lying, cheating mother, or the decent father? You see, she had a good job and owned a house whilst my cousin lived in a shed... Now he gets to see his kids when the wife dumps them on him for the entirety of school holidays because she just can't take care of them all day.



Numerous studies done have shown that women tend to lose love and respect for a man who becomes a house husband - man, on a deep rooted level, has to be the bread winner, protector and 'be a man' for a great majority of women. It is the same reason why rich, successful women chase men who are richer and more successful - it is a deep rooted evolutionary need in them.

All this stuff about connecting with your feelings, being sensitive, etc is bull - that is a way for many men to lose the women in their lives.
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#96 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:27 AM

+1. Mrs Mouse passed away sudenly back in March 2009 ( her kids turned on me and left for the biological father ) and now, in my late forties im looking at dying alone in a pile of my own s### being beaten up by some psycopath care worker.
oh well, at least I have never drawn the dole and I wont die in debt.
I supose the state will dispose of the body and auction my shirt.
Living the dream ma.



Sorry to hear about Mrs Mouse.
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#97 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:30 AM

.....not that desperate!.....which makes you wonder why there are some that stay in relationships that are dysfunctional, with emotional or physical abuse with no mutual respect between each other...like walking on eggshells......I can't think of anything that could be worse .....being solo after living in those circumstances must be like being freed from prison....why do people continue to stay? why are they scared of turning their lives around for the better? :unsure:



101 reasons. Mental conditioning the abused by the abuser to the abuse is the main one.
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#98 thod

thod

    HPC Veteran

  • New Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,213 posts

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:32 AM

What about those of us that never get 'lonely', are not even sure what it means? The schizoid case. How many years have you gone without having a conversation with another person? Yep, you read correctly, I said years.

#99 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:35 AM

What about those of us that never get 'lonely', are not even sure what it means? The schizoid case. How many years have you gone without having a conversation with another person? Yep, you read correctly, I said years.



How can you live without having a conversation with someone?

Do they have internet access in Tibetan caves now?
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#100 thod

thod

    HPC Veteran

  • New Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,213 posts

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:46 AM

How can you live without having a conversation with someone?

Do they have internet access in Tibetan caves now?


With enough money, you need not work. I for example live in rural France, nobody passes by here. It does not matter if they do since I cannot speak French.

#101 The Masked Tulip

The Masked Tulip

    I live on HPC!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37,360 posts
  • Location:Swansea, West Wales

Posted 01 April 2012 - 08:55 AM

With enough money, you need not work. I for example live in rural France, nobody passes by here. It does not matter if they do since I cannot speak French.



Interacting with other human beings is good for your mental health and soul - please consider it.


:)
The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.

The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing that we can ever truly control - whether we are good or evil.


The political triumph of the American Right has been to advance relentlessly the economic interests of the country's richest people, while emphasising a swath of moral, social and foreign policy issues that motivate and certainly distract middle-class and poor voters.

#102 thod

thod

    HPC Veteran

  • New Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,213 posts

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:04 AM

Interacting with other human beings is good for your mental health and soul - please consider it.


Hey, you talked to me. Your my best friend now, did you know that? I love you. :)

#103 Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods?

    HPC Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,091 posts
  • Location:God's own earth

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:06 AM

Numerous studies done have shown that women tend to lose love and respect for a man who becomes a house husband - man, on a deep rooted level, has to be the bread winner, protector and 'be a man' for a great majority of women. It is the same reason why rich, successful women chase men who are richer and more successful - it is a deep rooted evolutionary need in them.

All this stuff about connecting with your feelings, being sensitive, etc is bull - that is a way for many men to lose the women in their lives.


Very true. I always warn my friends who consider becoming house husbands of this aspect of female psychology. I will also be warning my sons about the connecting with your feelings, being sensitive trap. Once I understood how much bs that stuff was, my romantic relationships (as opposed to friendships) with females improved immeasurably.

A TV interview I saw with a couple the better part of 20 years ago burnt an understanding of this into my mind. Husband was a real man's man - been a miner and he lost his job when the pit shut. Wife became the main breadwinner, and she basically said that she lost respect for him and stopped putting out. I doubt their marriage lasted, which was sad given they had 3 or 4 kids iirc.

It doesn't have to be as huge as becoming a house husband; even having a hiccup in your career or being temporarily unemployed is enough for a lot of women to lose respect. In my younger days, I had a couple of hiccups in my career before getting back on track and each time the woman went as well as the job. You could see the cogs turning. Both times the set back turned out to be a precursor to a leap forward. Both times, once "success" was back on the table, the women concerned started "showing regret" and came sniffing around again. Both of them were alleged "feminists." The strange thing is that I don't think they quite understood themselves why their feelings had changed. It makes one dreadfully cynical, and much more careful/choosy. Thank god I didn't have kids or significant assets at the time.

The courts don't seem to treat house husbands who are dumped after giving up their careers in the same manner as house wives. The setbacks and loss of future earnings in this ageist world are almost as bad for men as for women. It is a real injustice and makes an absolute mockery of the lip service paid to equality.

Edited by Tiger Woods?, 01 April 2012 - 09:15 AM.

"I would offer congratulations were it not for this tentacle gripping my leg." - Jack Vance

#104 Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods?

    HPC Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,091 posts
  • Location:God's own earth

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:10 AM

How can you live without having a conversation with someone?

Do they have internet access in Tibetan caves now?


Back in 1994 I lived buy out in the stick for 5 months by myself. The TV blew up 1 week in, and I never bothered getting it fixed. Grunted briefly to people at the checkout, but that is about it. Managed to do a lot of very good research during that time. Wasn't too much of a problem then, and I could do it now much more easily now that I am older.
"I would offer congratulations were it not for this tentacle gripping my leg." - Jack Vance

#105 Nicnic

Nicnic

    HPC Newbie

  • New Members
  • Pip
  • 12 posts

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:50 AM

.....not that desperate!.....which makes you wonder why there are some that stay in relationships that are dysfunctional, with emotional or physical abuse with no mutual respect between each other...like walking on eggshells......I can't think of anything that could be worse .....being solo after living in those circumstances must be like being freed from prison....why do people continue to stay? why are they scared of turning their lives around for the better? :unsure:

1.Because the majority are scarred stiff of being alone. How many people leave their partner before finding someone else? Not many in my experience. And those who have been dumped make it a priority to find someone else as soon as they can;
2. They cannot afford to live on their own with rent and house prices at ridiculous levels;
3. They stay for the kids; I did for about 10 years and still think this was the right thing to do.

There are many reasons and perhaps we expect too much because it is drummed into us that finding the perfect mate is the be all and end all. Then reality hits!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users