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Estate Agent Speak


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#16 Spark

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Posted 06 August 2009 - 09:16 PM

Much sought after.


The EA spelling mistakes are really annoying.

"much sort after" and "flower boarders" were the ones I remember on the EA details I was looking through.

Deceptively spacious is an interesting phrase. It's either spacious or they are trying to deceive you into believing it is spacious!
Care must be taken not to focus too much on the PRICE of a house. The VALUE of a house is much more important.

#17 Bishbashbosh

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 12:09 PM

Compact and bijou is surely the classic!

There is a new set of flats being built in Montpelier, Bristol. The development is surrounded by a colourful fence covered in adverts and pictures about 1m high by 1.5m. Some scallywag has appropriately daubed in tiny lettering below one of the artist impressions "(Flat Shown is actual size)"
Jamie Davis, Bristol

#18 fallingbuzzard

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Posted 10 October 2009 - 06:51 PM

I have started to hate the use of the word "residence". What's wrong with house? Other than it being insufficiently ponsy to flog a 3 bed terrace for 500k!

#19 waitingandsaving

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Posted 12 October 2009 - 08:25 PM

I reckon the word residence is used because so often nowadays they can't actually truthfully use the word "house".

A residence is somewhere that people reside... that cardboard box and sleeping bag combo under a bridge could still be legitimately called someone's residence. And an EA could take a cleverly angled photo of it, with the crisp autumnal leaves showing through some joisty bits to make it look industrial factory type internal photo, and put it up on rightmove for 100k, and call it an open air studio residence....

#20 MattW

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 07:08 PM

Has anyone noticed how 'Haart' use slightly corny phrases at the start of their property description. How very 'tabloid' of them. :rolleyes:
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#21 notnow

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Posted 28 October 2011 - 11:06 AM

" Highly presented " has to be one of my favourites. Allways makes me smile.

BUT
"5 bedroom" when one of them was the garage, or "4 bedroom" when one of them was the garage , or "3 bedroom" when one of them was the garage

All drive me mad.

#22 notnow

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Posted 28 October 2011 - 11:11 AM

" Highly presented " has to be one of my favourites. Allways makes me smile.

BUT
"5 bedroom" when one of them was the garage, or "4 bedroom" when one of them was the garage , or "3 bedroom" when one of them was the garage

All drive me mad.


Nearly forgot - "Cash buyer preferred" Usually translates as "falling down / no planning permission ever applied for / mundic block (Cornwall).

#23 notnow

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Posted 02 January 2012 - 05:33 PM

Found the following on an Abbotts rightmove ad. I cannot decide if it was caused by a liquid lunch or lack of vocabulary, As an avid fan of "just a minute" on the radio, I keep getting the urge to buzz in with "repetition" -

The seller of this fantastic property and has found another property and has therefore price very realistically, therefore early interested will be expected so make early viewing arrangements to be in with a chance.

I shall go with liquid lunch I think.

#24 kev-all-in

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 11:55 PM

How about this little gem....

320,000
3 bedroom detached house for sale
IVRY STREET, IPSWICH

:blink: :blink:believed to date back to 1990 of red brick construction with modern slate roof, good looking in a country cottage style which offers very stylish living accommodation. Also incorporating many period style features including sliding sash windows with double glazing. :lol: :blink: :unsure:

More details and 12 photos Save property Contact agent Upgrade listing
Marketed by Woodcock & Son, Ipswich.

FFS! hardly lost in the mists of time.

#25 MattW

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 10:36 AM

Posted Image
http://www.rightmove...y-33798814.html

A 1980's built Victorian mid terrace house

Err...if it was built in the 1980s then it wouldn't be Victorian. :P

Would it make it 'Elizabethan' ? :unsure:
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