Jack2 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 It seems to be a norfolk thing, but when will agents realise that "tucked away" does not mean anything good or make me want to view? Round these parts it generally means "built in someone elses garden". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingandsaving Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Rarely available, except that there are another 2 places more or less the same in the same street/area for sale, and the property in question has been on the market for over a year.... Yep, that's rare. Or... going on your Norfolk theme - are they spelling as phonetically, in which case rarely available would be really available. (As in "thass a rarely nice flat you've got hair boy"...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uitlander Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Not a phrase, but personally I go for the wideangle/fish-eye lens that they think makes rooms look 'spacious'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J50 Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 There's one near me called Catling and Co (or Crapling and Co) who have often used the phrase "for the discerning purchaser" when describing a property... just sounds so *****ish to me... The other one is when they label houses as "keen to sell" - so what, everyone that isn't labelled that isn't keen to sell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallingbuzzard Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Potential to refurbish = Almost uninhabitable dump which hasn't changed in 30 years Light and airy accommodation = White walls and high ceilings Offering good access to Axx = On the bypass / main trunk road A rare opportunity = An opportunity so rare and unwanted that no-one even thought of selling it to you before The property benefits from = The property is a living thing There is benefit of on street parking to the front = You'll never be able to park in front of that house The property is in good general order = It needs refurbishment but the owner doesn't think so Arranged over two floors = A bog-standard house The property is presented in poor order = This is a repossession No onward chain complications = We'd like you to pay a premium because the owner wants to move into rented accommodation and sit out the crash The rent for the property has been established at £1250 pcm = The tenants have a side deal agreed with the current owner to stay in the property until it is sold paying rent over the odds but receiving a cash rebate of £350 each month Redecorated throughout, with thought, care and attention to fittings and finish = White and magnolia painted walls with B&Q brushed steel fittings As far as I can tell pretty much everything is presented as an opportunity at the moment which probably means that its the opposite, ie misfortune or very bad luck. There's one near me called Catling and Co (or Crapling and Co) who have often used the phrase "for the discerning purchaser" when describing a property... just sounds so *****ish to me... The other one is when they label houses as "keen to sell" - so what, everyone that isn't labelled that isn't keen to sell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingandsaving Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Blank canvas - so often used to describe a plain magnolia house... however, this one (link) I personally find a challenge to describe as a blank canvas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrlargeredpants Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 The one that makes me laugh is 'sympathetically extended' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack2 Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 Rarely available, except that there are another 2 places more or less the same in the same street/area for sale, and the property in question has been on the market for over a year.... Yep, that's rare. Or... going on your Norfolk theme - are they spelling as phonetically, in which case rarely available would be really available.(As in "thass a rarely nice flat you've got hair boy"...) Very good, That reminds me of when I was trying to explain to my wife, who was having a blonde monent, why it was necesary to have diferent endings when conjugating French verbs such as etre - I said , in a moment of inspiration, that if you conjugated verbs wrongly you would sound as though you were born in Norfolk, ie "I be, you be, he be, she be" As in "She be lookin right bootfull" A non descriptive ea ploy moment happened to us recently, a local bungalow went up for sale on the day after end of school term. Yep you guessed, its one door away from a primary school. No parking and white noise at 100db 5 times a day! For the record, I love Norfolk, the accent, the people, the history etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingandsaving Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Yes, I think the Norfolk accent is rather endearing... My 2 favourites from working for Virgin Money at one point, having it explained in the training session that they don't have call centres in Norwich because of the accent, the lady at the front said that in a previous session on clear communication, she's been talking about cutting out the jargon - someone in the group really couldn't understand why she was talking about not going jogging so frequently... Another one is the name Tamara... I have ambitions of doing a youTube series of rap songs recited in the Norfolk accent by local oldies - "I'll tek yew tew tha Caaandy Shopp, Le' yer suck me laalli-POP!" Sadly I don't think it's one that would come to fruition, even if they didn't understand what they were singing about... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dispossessed Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 ANY of that drivel from 'Fine and Country', if you've never seen it, buy the FRiday EDP for the property section and prepare to throw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeymadman Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Much sought after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack2 Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 2 From Haart :- "What you have been working for" and "price range, from --- to ---" I work to enjoy the planet, and all its wonders, not to pay daft prices for an anchor, and as for "price range" what on earth is that about???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_duke_of_hazzard Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "Architect-designed" as opposed to "dry cleaner-designed", presumably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack2 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Share Posted August 6, 2009 "Architect-designed"as opposed to "dry cleaner-designed", presumably. Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonb Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 (edited) Potential to refurbish = Almost uninhabitable dump which hasn't changed in 30 yearsLight and airy accommodation = White walls and high ceilings Offering good access to Axx = On the bypass / main trunk road A rare opportunity = An opportunity so rare and unwanted that no-one even thought of selling it to you before The property benefits from = The property is a living thing There is benefit of on street parking to the front = You'll never be able to park in front of that house The property is in good general order = It needs refurbishment but the owner doesn't think so Arranged over two floors = A bog-standard house The property is presented in poor order = This is a repossession No onward chain complications = We'd like you to pay a premium because the owner wants to move into rented accommodation and sit out the crash The rent for the property has been established at £1250 pcm = The tenants have a side deal agreed with the current owner to stay in the property until it is sold paying rent over the odds but receiving a cash rebate of £350 each month Redecorated throughout, with thought, care and attention to fittings and finish = White and magnolia painted walls with B&Q brushed steel fittings As far as I can tell pretty much everything is presented as an opportunity at the moment which probably means that its the opposite, ie misfortune or very bad luck. Deceptively spacious - a rabbit hutch Modern living - a rabbit hutch Imaginative use of space - a rabbit hutch City living - a rabbit hutch with no parking Pied-a-terre - a rabbit hutch with no parking Crash pad - a rabbit hutch with no parking Edited August 6, 2009 by jonb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spark Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Much sought after. The EA spelling mistakes are really annoying. "much sort after" and "flower boarders" were the ones I remember on the EA details I was looking through. Deceptively spacious is an interesting phrase. It's either spacious or they are trying to deceive you into believing it is spacious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishbashbosh Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Compact and bijou is surely the classic! There is a new set of flats being built in Montpelier, Bristol. The development is surrounded by a colourful fence covered in adverts and pictures about 1m high by 1.5m. Some scallywag has appropriately daubed in tiny lettering below one of the artist impressions "(Flat Shown is actual size)" Jamie Davis, Bristol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallingbuzzard Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I have started to hate the use of the word "residence". What's wrong with house? Other than it being insufficiently ponsy to flog a 3 bed terrace for £500k! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingandsaving Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I reckon the word residence is used because so often nowadays they can't actually truthfully use the word "house". A residence is somewhere that people reside... that cardboard box and sleeping bag combo under a bridge could still be legitimately called someone's residence. And an EA could take a cleverly angled photo of it, with the crisp autumnal leaves showing through some joisty bits to make it look industrial factory type internal photo, and put it up on rightmove for 100k, and call it an open air studio residence.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattW Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Has anyone noticed how 'Haart' use slightly corny phrases at the start of their property description. How very 'tabloid' of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnow Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 " Highly presented " has to be one of my favourites. Allways makes me smile. BUT "5 bedroom" when one of them was the garage, or "4 bedroom" when one of them was the garage , or "3 bedroom" when one of them was the garage All drive me mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnow Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 " Highly presented " has to be one of my favourites. Allways makes me smile. BUT "5 bedroom" when one of them was the garage, or "4 bedroom" when one of them was the garage , or "3 bedroom" when one of them was the garage All drive me mad. Nearly forgot - "Cash buyer preferred" Usually translates as "falling down / no planning permission ever applied for / mundic block (Cornwall). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnow Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Found the following on an Abbotts rightmove ad. I cannot decide if it was caused by a liquid lunch or lack of vocabulary, As an avid fan of "just a minute" on the radio, I keep getting the urge to buzz in with "repetition" - The seller of this fantastic property and has found another property and has therefore price very realistically, therefore early interested will be expected so make early viewing arrangements to be in with a chance. I shall go with liquid lunch I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev-all-in Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 How about this little gem.... £320,000 3 bedroom detached house for sale IVRY STREET, IPSWICH believed to date back to 1990 of red brick construction with modern slate roof, good looking in a country cottage style which offers very stylish living accommodation. Also incorporating many period style features including sliding sash windows with double glazing. More details and 12 photos Save property Contact agent Upgrade listing Marketed by Woodcock & Son, Ipswich. FFS! hardly lost in the mists of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattW Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 http://www.rightmove...y-33798814.html A 1980's built Victorian mid terrace house Err...if it was built in the 1980s then it wouldn't be Victorian. Would it make it 'Elizabethan' ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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