Peter Parker

Where In Life Were You At In Your 30's Compared To Parents

56 posts in this topic

Both Parents at 32 in 1992:

- Married (at 19)

- 3 kids

- Were on to 2nd home, 3 bed terrace

- 2 cars

- Own business

- Earned £20k each

- No degree

- No real debts

- No actual savings

- Aspirations - expand business, enjoy finer things in life, twice yearly holidays, keeping up with Jones', bigger house, bigger car, property portfolio, ensure all kids go to uni and wanting grand children.

2012 reality

- 3 dependent kids in their 30's living at home (except me), no grand kids, business hit the buffers, one crappy 2nd hand motor, seeing the value of their property portfolio collapse, own house in -ve equity, debts, shopping basket full of tescos basics,

Me 2012 - 32yrs old

- No kids

- Single

- Work as a temp

- £33k/yr average in London

- Generally buy basics, dont really go out much, save all i can

- Live in a London house carved into 10 bedsits, mainly occuppied by Poles.

- Aspirations, same as the ones I have at 18, nothing much has been acheived.

- Student debt, all else paid off.

- £30k saved for deposit but now looking leave UK instead.

Everyone of my peers is in the same boat except they most likely have no savings. So where are you compared to where you parents were in their early 30s?

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Both Parents at 32 in 1992:

- Married (at 19)

- 3 kids

- Were on to 2nd home, 3 bed terrace

- 2 cars

- Own business

- Earned £20k each

- No degree

- No real debts

- No actual savings

- Aspirations - expand business, enjoy finer things in life, twice yearly holidays, keeping up with Jones', bigger house, bigger car, property portfolio, ensure all kids go to uni and wanting grand children.

2012 reality

- 3 dependent kids in their 30's living at home (except me), no grand kids, business hit the buffers, one crappy 2nd hand motor, seeing the value of their property portfolio collapse, own house in -ve equity, debts, shopping basket full of tescos basics,

Me 2012 - 32yrs old

- No kids

- Single

- Work as a temp

- £33k/yr average in London

- Generally buy basics, dont really go out much, save all i can

- Live in a London house carved into 10 bedsits, mainly occuppied by Poles.

- Aspirations, same as the ones I have at 18, nothing much has been acheived.

- Student debt, all else paid off.

- £30k saved for deposit but now looking leave UK instead.

Everyone of my peers is in the same boat except they most likely have no savings. So where are you compared to where you parents were in their early 30s?

Well my dad and i do the exact same job, separated by 30 years. I live with my girlfriend and between us we both work full-time in professional jobs and save about half our income. We rent a terraced house in a nice street. We have around 100k in the piggy bank between us. He was married to a non working wife and had two kids and a nice semi detached house at my age but minimal savings.

Not much difference between us probably if it weren't for sky high housing costs and the fact that both of us work to maintain a similar standard of living. Wages really haven't risen much in the last decade compared to housing and living costs.

GB

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Both Parents at 32 in 1992:

- Married (at 19)

- 3 kids

- Were on to 2nd home, 3 bed terrace

- 2 cars

- Own business

- Earned £20k each

- No degree

- No real debts

- No actual savings

- Aspirations - expand business, enjoy finer things in life, twice yearly holidays, keeping up with Jones', bigger house, bigger car, property portfolio, ensure all kids go to uni and wanting grand children.

2012 reality

- 3 dependent kids in their 30's living at home (except me), no grand kids, business hit the buffers, one crappy 2nd hand motor, seeing the value of their property portfolio collapse, own house in -ve equity, debts, shopping basket full of tescos basics,

My parents were toughing it out in WW2 in their early 30s.

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Them :1958 parents bought some land, cut down the trees and built a bungalow. One a self employed shopkeeper the other a civil servant.

Now an area classed as greenbelt

Me: In rented for the last 15 yrs. I have savings but I don't want to consume them on an overpriced property. Would love to build my own. In fact I spoke to a builder this afternoon who builds using this ICF product. No chance of finding any land though, unlike 50 years ago.

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Them :1958 parents bought some land, cut down the trees and built a bungalow. One a self employed shopkeeper the other a civil servant.

Now an area classed as greenbelt

Me: In rented for the last 15 yrs. I have savings but I don't want to consume them on an overpriced property. Would love to build my own. In fact I spoke to a builder this afternoon who builds using this ICF product. No chance of finding any land though, unlike 50 years ago.

My mum and dad early 30's (mum 30 dad 33) , 4 kids, recently moved into 4 bed council house, small savings, 1 car, video recorder, colour tele, Dad auto lathe setter, no pension savings, mum housewife. Holidays always to Grandparents bungalow in Dorset.

Me @ 30, just single, owned 2 bed semi with small mortgage (three years into mortgage), company Alfa 156, £30k p/a, no kids , summer and winter (snowbaording holidays), decent pension savings since 1987, no debt, some savings. Had fun and went through many "man with property seeking" girls before meeting the wife.

No doubt my familys life is much better than mine and at least 90% of it is down to working hard, nice wage inflation from the late 80's through the 90's, buying first house in 1996, selling in 2007 and buying again at a big discount in 2009.

Mostly buying and selling property at the right times in the cycle, initialy by accident.

M

Edited by markyh

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Both Parents at 32 in 1992:

- Married (at 19)

- 3 kids

- Were on to 2nd home, 3 bed terrace

- 2 cars

- Own business

- Earned £20k each

- No degree

- No real debts

- No actual savings

- Aspirations - expand business, enjoy finer things in life, twice yearly holidays, keeping up with Jones', bigger house, bigger car, property portfolio, ensure all kids go to uni and wanting grand children.

2012 reality

- 3 dependent kids in their 30's living at home (except me), no grand kids, business hit the buffers, one crappy 2nd hand motor, seeing the value of their property portfolio collapse, own house in -ve equity, debts, shopping basket full of tescos basics,

Me 2012 - 32yrs old

- No kids

- Single

- Work as a temp

- £33k/yr average in London

- Generally buy basics, dont really go out much, save all i can

- Live in a London house carved into 10 bedsits, mainly occuppied by Poles.

- Aspirations, same as the ones I have at 18, nothing much has been acheived.

- Student debt, all else paid off.

- £30k saved for deposit but now looking leave UK instead.

Everyone of my peers is in the same boat except they most likely have no savings. So where are you compared to where you parents were in their early 30s?

Sort of same boat except the parents part however I regularly think back to how good my friend's parents had it. It's a f%%%ing despicable situation and all because of these stupid politicians. How many lost generations will it take before people realise the labour party is unelectable.

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1958 My parents had a decent end terrace house on an affordable mortgage. Dad in a good professional job. Mum given up work to have me (I was three). Soon they would have their first car, only the second family on our street to get one.

1987 I had a 2 bed mid terrace on an affordable mortgage. Married no children. Wife and I both worked, life was good. Honda XBR500 and Yamaha TR1XV1000.

I have nieces and nephews in late teens early twenties, they are going to have to earn extremely well to have what I had at 32 unless there is a return to house price sanity.

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Late 60s : parents just married, mortgage on a small home in Oxford (on a bank clerk's single salary!), just about to have us kids.

Late 90s: me just (post)graduated (did it late) and living in London in shared house on a graduate salary, even so just about to buy a small flat.

Fifteen years later: me back to renting outside London but in an expensive area on an ok salary, but feeling that my life hasn't really progressed. Parents now 20 years into retirement, holidaying regularly, no money worries. Don't begrudge them that... But us three sons really have no hope of emulaying that lifestyle when we get older.

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Parents: At 37 (Mum) and 35 (Dad) had just had me, my sister to follow two years later and a move from a 3 bed semi, to a 4 bed detached costing £16,000 in 1975 when the sister arrived. Mother didn't need to work although they weren't rolling in it and lived fairly frugally.

Now: Parents divorced 10 years ago, they've sold the family house and both bought their own houses and stayed single (rise and rise of living alone!)

Me: Now 39, I bought my first house in 1996 albeit shared ownership, and have watched in amazement since 2000, houses which were already overvalued become even more insanely overvalued. Therefore not buying until the prices are normal again. I am waiting so long that at this rate by the time I buy, I will have saved so much that I might be able to buy without a mortgage.

I have not married, seem set in my ways, like my own space and worry about how I will meet a woman to settle down with and also one who won't take half or more of my hard earned savings and bugger off. Therefore I think the chances of being in my thirties with a house and kids like my parents pretty nil. Unless I meet a female HPCer or a rich woman who already has a house thats paid off!

Edited by Spoony

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My mum and dad early 30's (mum 30 dad 33) , 4 kids, recently moved into 4 bed council house, small savings, 1 car, video recorder, colour tele, Dad auto lathe setter, no pension savings, mum housewife. Holidays always to Grandparents bungalow in Dorset.

Me @ 30, just single, owned 2 bed semi with small mortgage (three years into mortgage), company Alfa 156, £30k p/a, no kids , summer and winter (snowbaording holidays), decent pension savings since 1987, no debt, some savings. Had fun and went through many "man with property seeking" girls before meeting the wife.

No doubt my familys life is much better than mine and at least 90% of it is down to working hard, nice wage inflation from the late 80's through the 90's, buying first house in 1996, selling in 2007 and buying again at a big discount in 2009.

Mostly buying and selling property at the right times in the cycle, initialy by accident.

M

You were lucky to both buy in 1996 and call the right time to sell in 2007, then buy in 2009! I completely got that wrong. 2009 was the time to buy although at the time it looked insane and also looked like we were heading for a USA or Irish style crash. So I didn't. I think we'll get there, it'll just take another 10 years to do it due to the governments meddling.

How do you spot a "man with property seeking girl"? I usually make out to all girlfriends when I first date them that I am broke. I drive a banger, don't dress that flash and have a general air of frugality in the way I go about!

Edited by Spoony

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This is an interesting one because I was just thinking about this exact thing last week. More in the context of my children vs me at the same age, but given that we are in our 30s now, and my parents were in theirs when I was the current age of my children, it's kinda the same thing.

I will start by saying that my wife and I earn way more (in real terms) than my (or her) parents did 30 years ago. Back when I was a young kid, my mum worked part-time as a nurse and my dad had a professional office job for a large organisation (in payroll at the time). - so not big earners, but in skilled employment.

By contrast, my wife is an academic scientist (a relatively successful one) and I founded, built and am now on the board of a relatively successful SME. - I use the word "relatively" because I don't want this to turn into a earnings peeing contest thread, and also because she has yet to win the nobel prize and I am not Mark Zuckerberg ;) Suffice to say our income is not stratospheric, but far in excess of my parents' at the time.

We are better off as a family than my parents at the same age in every single way... except one. (I bet you can't guess which one)

At my age, my parents had a 3 bedroom Maisonette in a Georgian terrace in North London with a nice garden. It was probably still owned by the council at this point, but they soon bought it cheaply through the right to buy and a similar property would these days be valued at around £750k. (They sold it and moved on many years ago)

They also saved up - yes *saved up* for a holiday house by the seaside in Suffolk, which they bought for cash (£3k!!!). Okay, it was a small house, in a then-unfashionable town, and it wasn't in good condition and needed quite a lot of work, but they were able to save up for it from a quite modest income FFS.

By contrast, we live in a small rented house, it's nice, but we would need to spend £2500 (at least) per month to rent the kind of place I grew up in, which we feel is too much to spend on housing.

In every other way however, we are better off. We have the luxury of being able to afford to rent in a nice part of town where there are good schools, we could probably afford to educate the kids privately if really we felt we had to, we live a generally good lifestyle, go on nice holidays, we can save for the future and the kids' futures etc.

The housing situation in the UK is dire though, we both work in jobs that are geographically spread and we have work-related contacts in quite a few different locations worldwide. Emigration is looking like a more and more attractive option as time goes on. My parents are now getting on and it would be a shame to move the grandkids away, but when you look at what we could afford in, well, pretty much anywhere else in the developed world, it just seems like a no-brainer.

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How do you spot a "man with property seeking girl"? I usually make out to all girlfriends when I first date them that I am broke. I drive a banger, don't dress that flash and have a general air of frugality in the way I go about!

I had a sneaky ruse, earning £30k in 1999 with a nice company car, nice clothes and expensive watch (spent the ex girlfiends engagement ring money on a £2k Tag Huer atfder she dumped me!) I wined and dined girls I met, took them to my place and had fun. If they lasted a few weeks I always said my house was rented and I thought house prices where too crazy to buy.

And in 2000 to 2002 HPI was rampant and pulling away from wages so I could quickly judge girls disappointed reactions and attitude change that I earned good money, rented and wasn't buying now as prices where going up so fast (little did they know!). 90% of girls I went out with where english and pretty much clones.

Then i met a fiesty South African girl who was both gorgeous, smart and not bothered about me being a home owner. We fell for each other and by 2006 had a kid, then got married in 2007. During our Honeymoon she admitted she knew I really owned the house when we first met because of what I did to / in it as she had rented for years in the UK and knew how restricted you are. Also having no landlord or letting agent ever popping round was a give away. Also she sussed from chatting to mates wives that I had owned since 96 and bought my ex out in 99.

Smart girl. She never let on. Found a guy with property and let him think he was testing her when she was testing him to make sure he could provide for the future. Mind you she was completely trustwothy of me in 2007 when a few months after getting married, with a 1 year old kid, I announced it's the top of the market, we are selling and going into rented and buying when prices dropped. She was fine with it.

Only took 18 months in rented before in late 2008 we could buy a 5 bed for only £35k more than I sold my 2 bed for. So all is well and we do ok.

M

p.s. One thing she never knew was that I never wanted to get married until I had met the right girl and had a kid, never been a fan of not betting on a sure thing! One reason the ex-girlfirend left as she had waited 10 years and no marraige and didn't want to have a kid first despite my hints.

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At 38...

parents - 2 kids, 18 and 15. married for 19 years. Large house worth about 600K today with a 30K mortgage (was worth about 170K then). dad worked full time in semi skilled job on no more than average money. Not a qualification between them. Mum worked 20 hours a week. BUT, now, they have final salary inflation proofed pensions. And they were very shrewd in their property ladder climbing.

us - 38, 1 child - just one. married for 3 years. Decent house the equivalent of the parents but geography means it's worth double. No mortgage. Wife has had a career and may go back to work part-time soon (for something to do). Me, worked my gonads off in M&A, but want to be home more for family so have backed off to regular hours and little foreign travel or all nighters position now. Only defined contribution pensions, but enough savings and alternative investments to walk for good before I have a 'Falling Down' moment.

The difference. Education (scholarship to superb school and Oxbridge out of it). And choosing a 'lucrative' career and in it choosing to chase the money for 10 years. The parents' pension pots are worth a staggering amount - or rather we would need a staggering amount saved to match their payouts. the potential downside, my dad was still able to play competitive football with me when I was 18. I will be 55 when my son is 18.

Time will tell if we got it right.

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The thing I'm seeing in this thread is:

1. Now the housing situation is worse

2. We won't get the pensions the current pensioners get

3. For all this both partners must work full time which makes our children strangers (the state is their parent)

4. We have ipads

How is it we are getting a worse deal now whilst those in retirement get a better deal? I could understand it if we were looking back, but this is like two worlds at the same time.

The net effect means we are so much poorer than current pensioners. Not the war generation but 60 to 70. This is all before most boomers have retired putting more unfunded requests to be met by a generation already at a massive disadvantage from transferring wealth from non-owners to older owners.

It's a pity most in their 20s can't understand that their world is not "normal". In the absence of the bigger picture we accept what we encounter as the natural order.

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It's a pity most in their 20s can't understand that their world is not "normal".

Spot on. The financial system in particular is a grotesque experiment - one that is coming to an end.

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Spot on. The financial system in particular is a grotesque experiment - one that is coming to an end.

It's not just banking. The generation now enjoying unsustainable pensions are also part of the problem.

It's an odd situation. The foreign public debt is owed to real people. People in places like China who worked hard, invested and expect a return. We should honour that.

But in the case of pensions, people have voted in politician's who promised them something so absurd that people should have known better. When boomers are on both sides of the transaction (enacting the policy and receiving the benefit) is this really legitimate? Is it time for a "generational default"?

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It's not just banking. The generation now enjoying unsustainable pensions are also part of the problem.

It's an odd situation. The foreign public debt is owed to real people. People in places like China who worked hard, invested and expect a return. We should honour that.

But in the case of pensions, people have voted in politician's who promised them something so absurd that people should have known better. When boomers are on both sides of the transaction (enacting the policy and receiving the benefit) is this really legitimate? Is it time for a "generational default"?

I'm with you on the emigration thing, bmf. This country doesn't look like it's going to revert to mean any time soon and my wife is getting broody. It's time to take my not-insignificant education and whore it off to the highest bidder.

I'm sick of being a prudent patsy.

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My parents are 11 years apart. Him in his 30s, meeting her, getting together, starting sprogging, getting a flat and later a house (which they couldn't afford to fix up, so we got used to things like the rain coming in, and thought it normal). Her in her 30s, a mum of three. He'd've been late 40s and her 30s when we moved house again to somewhere the roof stayed up.

Me in most of my 30s, living and working in Italy, having fled 1980s HPI and the horror of our housing market. Late 30s back in Blighty, trying and failing to make a go of my own business before running out of money and hitting real poverty, until the coming of ADSL helped me start to make an income.

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My maternal family history is very sad, surprised I made it to where I am today. My paternal relatives did very well education wise got good jobs and bought their properties in the 1950s and 1960s. My maternal relatives suffered very sad lives, drink, suicide, and mental breakdown by a member due to over study to better themselves . Dragged myself up to get where I am today. That is what you are dealt in life and only you can change things for the better. Sadly today there are too many forces against the young people but strangely they support these forces which will eventually cripple them. <_<

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Both Parents at 32 in 1992:

- Married (at 19)

- 3 kids

- Were on to 2nd home, 3 bed terrace

- 2 cars

- Own business

- Earned £20k each

- No degree

- No real debts

- No actual savings

- Aspirations - expand business, enjoy finer things in life, twice yearly holidays, keeping up with Jones', bigger house, bigger car, property portfolio, ensure all kids go to uni and wanting grand children.

2012 reality

- 3 dependent kids in their 30's living at home (except me), no grand kids, business hit the buffers, one crappy 2nd hand motor, seeing the value of their property portfolio collapse, own house in -ve equity, debts, shopping basket full of tescos basics,

Me 2012 - 32yrs old

- No kids

- Single

- Work as a temp

- £33k/yr average in London

- Generally buy basics, dont really go out much, save all i can

- Live in a London house carved into 10 bedsits, mainly occuppied by Poles.

- Aspirations, same as the ones I have at 18, nothing much has been acheived.

- Student debt, all else paid off.

- £30k saved for deposit but now looking leave UK instead.

Everyone of my peers is in the same boat except they most likely have no savings. So where are you compared to where you parents were in their early 30s?

Dad and Mum at 29. Dad not met Mum yet living in hostel and working semi skilled job in Belling making cookers. Mum still living at home in rented flat part of house. The house they eventually brought when I was about 16. 20 years later, obviously no savings, qualifications etc Dad an immigrant /pow/ displaced person depending on story

Me. met the love of my life at 18 married 28, son born year after left IBM and started my own business. Small flat in docklands sold for what I paid for after nine years in 96.

Not sure what your questions proves except it's different for everyone, Your parents also owned their own biz and were together at your age massive factors.

Edited by Greg Bowman

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My dad had three kids, was self employed and trying to pay a mortgage at 30 years of age.....he still works in that same now extended family business. ;)

Edited by winkie

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Dad and Mum at 29. Dad not met Mum yet living in hostel and working semi skilled job in Belling making cookers. Mum still living at home in rented flat part of house. The house they eventually brought when I was about 16. 20 years later, obviously no savings, qualifications etc Dad an immigrant /pow/ displaced person depending on story

Me. met the love of my life at 18 married 28, son born year after left IBM and started my own business. Small flat in docklands sold for what I paid for after nine years in 96.

Not sure what your questions proves except it's different for everyone, Your parents also owned their own biz and were together at your age massive factors.

I think one of the things it proves to me is that this question is clearly aimed at people who are in their 30s now, in particular those under 35.

This was an interesting thread but the most recent replies have either had no "now and then" context or have been from people who hit 35 in say 1990 who add "what's the problem, mate!".

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It is utterly incomparable, mostly because I have benefitted from the opportunity of no fee and vaguely getting a grant higher education. A throwback to the times when social mobility was not just an abstract concept for the majority. A small mercy but it all went downhill from 1997.

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My dad was listening to heavy metal in his 30's, but that type made by a band of fascists in Europe in WW2. My father was a Canadian farmer who volunteered for the RCAF, my mum a high school educated munitions worker in the war. For the first two years of the marriage the family home was living in with Grandparents in a council house in a grubby Northern town.

In contrast I had the benefit of a good education, became involved in electronics and subsequently computing and was travelling the world plying my skills at 30. I realise how lucky I have been and have far outstripped my parents expectations.

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