FIGGY

Anecdotal - Friends Have Asked Me To Help With Mortgage After Coming Off Their Fix

36 posts in this topic

I’m going to send them onto a broker but they have asked me attend this with them as well.

A nosy part of me is fascinated by what I will see as their gross income should be OK c£60k per year, I really hope I can help them out

It does sound like they are lining you up for something more that just advice, why else would they want you to attend. I'm guessing that when the mortgage lender tells them that they will need to put down a deposit to get the best mortgage deal they will say "where are we going to get 5000 pounds" and then all eyes will fall on you.

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IF they need help going through a SOA and crossing off things like mobile phone packages, sky tv, eating out etc then that's one thing.

If they want you to help fund their lifestyle without being prepared to make massive sacrificed then screw them before they screw you.

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c 130,000 pa. 30,000 in 1999

Thanks KB.

That's pretty damning figures. Tip of the iceberg too I would guess. We've got incredible forbearance.

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.

"'Mr. Pip,' said Wemmick, 'I should like just to run over with you on my fingers, if you please, the names of the various bridges up as high as Chelsea Reach. Let's see; there's London, one; Southwark, two; Blackfriars, three; Waterloo, four; Westminster, five; Vauxhal, six.' He had checked off each bridge in its turn, with the handle of his safe-key on the palm of his hand. 'There's as many as six, you see, to choose from.'

"'I don't understand you,' said I.

"'Choose your bridge, Mr. Pip,' returned Wemmick, 'and take a walk upon your bridge, and pitch your money into the Thames over the centre arch of your bridge, and you know the end of it. Serve a friend with it, and you may know the end of it too-- but it's a less pleasant and profitable end.'

Good advice from Dickens.

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If you know their address, you can check online how much they bought it for.

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My old Dad used to have a good line. He was always helping folk out...just small amounts like fifty quid or so. When they didn't pay him back he would say "what about that hundred quid I lent you?". They would say "hey it was only fifty". To which he would then say "so you haven't forgotten then?" Worked most of the time.

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I think a lot of these replies are a bit negative, I have lent decent amounts of money to several people in the past, running into the hundreds of thousands on occasions, when I was younger I also borrowed lumps of money from friends that would have been a stretch to pay back if my plans had not worked out.

The key thing to assess at the outset is the question, are you lending the money to clear up a situation that is untenable in the long term, or are you lending to cover a short term situation that has a clear solution, if you stress at the outset what your expectations are and you have a decent trust of the person you are lending to then I don't think it is such a problem, as well as destroying a friendship helping somebody out who then repays your trust in them can be a good outcome.

The situation here of a friend deep underwater and looking for some time to stave off the inevitable is going to result in stupidity on both sides if a bailout is given ( like the greece situation ) but I do not agree with the general philosophy that offering a friend a lifeline when they need it is in all cases a silly thing to do ...

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I've a friend who's one of the Ugandan asians.

His family lend each other money between, sometime quite substantial amounts - several 10ks

I asked if they ever worry if they'll ever have someone not pay it back.

He says No. They do do some credit check, check for fecklessness.

But it works out - they lend at rates higher than they can get for cash. The borrower gets cash at a lot less thanthe banks will lend.

Cutting out the middleman.

A Ugandan Asian I worked with told me about this, although he never mentioned interest. For every marriage it was a couple of £k from the parents, £500 from each sibling down to £50 from each distant cousin. That was 1980 and it usually totaled enough to buy a terraced house for cash in the North West. He came in bright and cheery one Monday morning as 6 of his cousins had each paid him the £50 they owed. On Thursday he looked like a wet weekend, his brother had just got engaged. :)

I did ask what would happen about non payment, in short they'd be extradited and a totally alone Asian in a white country was not something any of them would care to face.

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The wife is a teacher and the husband is a skilled craftsman. They say they never have money (but go on holiday a lot) and have large unsecured debts as well (£20k +).

Any updates on this story? Lend them money if you will but I wouldn't. People like that just have no idea with money. They really don't. Like one of my friends. She is always in her overdraft and on credit cards. Everytime she remortgages the house to pay it off she says thats it I'm not getting into debt again. 3 months later shes well back in the red. She must have remortgaged the house 3 times now. She seems to have no concept of cutting back on things or that the answer is sorry I just can't afford it. She has NTL TV with all the movie channels and rejected my suggestion and her fathers that she should be happy with just freeview. She takes her kids on holiday and spends a packet.

I give up.

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One of the worst lending decisions I made was to a friend in the Army when he bought a new 106 quicksilver on tick about 15 years ago. He was asked to bring his insurance document with him to the showroom and probably only had the first payment to hand for the car. Anyway, a quick search on the Internet revealed a best price of £800 and I wrote him a cheque for that amount. All went swimmingly on the day, he showed the salesman his insurance and we took the car. A few months later he pulled out of a garden centre and wrote off that car and caused about £5k of damage to another car. He wasn't insured! Turned out he elected to pay the premium monthly and spent the rest on designer clothes and reneged on the monthly payment soon after.

I never really expected to see the money back as at the time I could afford not to see it returned but now his dad was involved, a high ranking QC with a reputation preceding him and went through his account with a fine toothcomb, seeing what had happened he insisted that I take a cheque for the full amount from him and settled all costs that other parties incurred. This was no free meal ticket for my mate he had to pay back absolutely every penny and that took him a decade. Very awkward for all of us.

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