JoeDavola Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 ...A "hard act to keep up"? Do you just not like doing exercise? With all respect, you have looked more into this than me for sure, but I think you are misinterpreting Alpha qualities. Has nothing about creating a 'false self'. Thats why she offered to pay for coffee - you showed a bit of alpha and probably - judging from your other posts - coherently. I'd bet if you'd replied with a (weak alpha) one liner involving a ****** and maybe a ****, you wouldn't have had the offer of coffee. She was sifting for good alpha. (imo) I put alpha in quotes as an attempt at sarcasm (which is difficult online); I was referring to the aloof ******* being a false self, not the definition of alpha which you give above. I think what I've learned with this and another similar experience that happened with a woman recently is probably just assertiveness isn''t it - if you don't like the way someone's behaving towards you, tell them and don't worry to much about offending them. Read Athol Kay's married man sex primer book a while back - enjoyed it and would recommend to my fellow HPC-ers. Not with him on everything, but it's better than most of the PUA junk out there and from memory the stuff on evolutionary biology was very well written yet concise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Some don't reveal the truth until they're pregnant with your kid and shacked up with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crashmonitor Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1097065/Hi-Im-Claudia-Im-worth-20m-I-need-man-love.html How to get plenty of response Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1097065/Hi-Im-Claudia-Im-worth-20m-I-need-man-love.html How to get plenty of response Good on the blokes. Burds have done this for ever. This is just making sure 'equality' is successful. Well done lads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNoSnowMan Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1097065/Hi-Im-Claudia-Im-worth-20m-I-need-man-love.html How to get plenty of response A bloke at work married a woman who's father is a millionaire (property developer who got lucky with his timing). In discussion about this, one day, another workmate described the situation beautifully, "He's putting his d1ck in a moneybox". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNoSnowMan Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 I f**king love this thread. It's probably the only one on HPC this long that I've read from start to finish. And I can easily relate to it because if it weren't for the internet I'd probably still be single. That said, it's also provided me with a glimpse of what psychopaths some women can be. My last two were definitely the worst in terms of self delusion but for different reasons. The first was deluded thanks to an overprotective mother who'd brought her up wrapped in cotton wool. She never believed anything was her fault when something went wrong in her life e.g. she gets a 2:2 at Uni - it some bitch she lived with's fault. She couldn't stay in a job for more than 5 minutes - bosses are victimising her and fear her potential. She also apparently had an IQ of 178 and yet lacks the basic common sense to understand that it is not acceptible to go on a 2 week holiday with a male friend when she's in a relationship. She could not take any form of criticism and would fall to pieces if things weren't going the way she planned. Ohh, and I fluked my way into my job and didn't deserve the big pay increases I got as I didn't work anywhere nearly as hard as she did (a slur on the fact I didn't go to Uni and earned more than her). Suffice to say, I don't miss that one. The second was deluded due to being a spoiled brat. Daddy was the type who had made something of himself but had no concept of teaching this to his kids (he just gave them what they wanted and thought this made him a good Dad). Because of this she wanted a boyfriend just like him and thought I was the mug she'd been looking for. And I originally fell for it as she came across as a caring and understanding person. But No. Underneath the false persona was a manipulator and a very nasty one at that. A good example was I didn't go to her works xmas do (personal reasons she was fully aware of). When she arrived home I got, 'I was talking to one of the girls who has a husband like you and she said she's thinking of leaving him." The thing was, in the back of my mind, I knew what was going on and I did nothing about it because I really loved this one and naively thought it would stop. It didn't. Eventually it built up so much when I did finally blow I went mad (and I've never been like that before or since). I ended up smashing MY spare room and passing out because I was so angry. When I came to she was hiding in the kitchen and said I tried to kill her (which was a lie as I never laid a finger on her). She then proceded to 'forgive me' but then went into manipulation overdrive thinking I wouldn't dare disobey now. But I think after seeing me snap she realised I wasn't going to be the easy to control lapdog she thought I was and so told her Dad a load of lies and, one day, I came home from work and all her stuff was gone. I look back now and just see it as a lucky escape. Some poor sod might one day knock her up and he'll then never be free... Fortunately, my current misses couldn't be any different from these two. And, ironically seeing the slating it's got on this thread, I met her on POF (the other two were on paying dating sites). I consider myself lucky to have finally found someone decent and know I won't have any of the problems again like I've had in the past. But would I recommend a young UK male to shack up with a young UK female these days? No f**king chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl1 Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 I f**king love this thread. It's probably the only one on HPC this long that I've read from start to finish. And I can easily relate to it because if it weren't for the internet I'd probably still be single. That said, it's also provided me with a glimpse of what psychopaths some women can be. My last two were definitely the worst in terms of self delusion but for different reasons. The first... psycho story 1 psycho story 2 happy ever after ... Curious, why's that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNoSnowMan Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 Curious, why's that? Because I'm an ugly b@stard!!! In all honesty I don't know. Women whom I meet in person and then get to know have never been interested in me. I guess on first appearance I don't do anything for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNACR Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 My issue with modern younger women is that the conditioning of school and university seems to cast a very long shadow. Endless tedious discussion about work/career development is, frankly enough to drive you nuts. They seem to live their adult lives based on an internal conceit of 'will this look good on my UCAS form?' I reckon your best bet, if you're not too old, is just to find a decent girl that just left school and didn't go to university. If they're a graduate the chances are, if you're lucky, you'll just be another entry they think is worth having on their fictional adult UCAS form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 The first...psycho story 1 psycho story 2 happy ever after Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norbert Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 It can be really hard to work who someone really is, even after seeing them for some months. I mean, I don't register myself as having 100% sanity, I've certainly got my quirks and foibles, but... I once dated a girl who seemed very calm, sensible, attractive, likeable....almost too good to be true. Without going into details and potentially identifying myself and her, she had built up a series of constructs to hold herself together psychologically and if you so much as stepped on the edge of one of them, it really wasn't pretty at all. It wasn't that she was violent, or I was fearful of what she would do to me, but she seriously gave me the chills...Because I felt like I had become the source of her self-esteem in a very short space of time. I've met plenty of unbalanced people, but I've never met someone quite like this. It's really hard to describe, but it scared the **** out of me and really messed with my mind because I was genuinely fearful of what effect breaking up with her would have. Like her whole world lay in my hands. ...Or maybe it's just me that's crazy.... can anyone else relate to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rave Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I've been reading this thread since it started, don't think I've contributed until now (though quite possibly I've contributed even more drunk than I am now and forgotten about it). But basically, my thoughts are this: plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. Women and men haven't changed at all. What has changed is the 'me culture'...the idea that we all can expect to form a nice relationship with someone with no emotional flaws. But in the UK at least, people without any emotional flaws are vanishingly rare. I met my wife in a SE London pub- it was a dive then, it's barely clinging on to its licence now. I chatted her up because of her large breasts- I proposed to her three months later because despite being working class*, she was intelligent, kind, fun, and chatty. *at the time I was still clinging to the idea that I might be able to follow my dad into a half-decent civil service career*. We're approaching our 10th anniversary, and it's not been easy. I'm a sardonic lazy drunk who's swung the balance of power in the relationship in my favour through earning more than her in a job I hate; she's spent 10 years doing a job she dislikes while writing several screenplays (and gaining several OU degrees). We've no kids and we could split up with minimal actual damage any time we like. But having lived 10 years with her I have absolutely no appetite for a change, because despite all the setbacks I love her. To cut to the chase- both of us are debatably 'mental'. But fairytales are just that- fairytales. I don't know of any couple who have never had a harsh word- but I know of many (mainly through my wife's extensive extended family) who have stayed married for 40 years or more (the record is currently held by my MIL's Aunt and Uncle, who are not far shy of their diamond anniversary). So my point is- evaluate potential partners on how much love they have to give. Everything else is noise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fully Detached Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I think it was on this thread some time back that TMT made a comment about 3/10 women being "best avoided". Since reading that, I've found it surprisingly easy to spot the nutjobs out there. Generally any single woman over the age of 30 who has never been married or long term cohabiting is an almost dead cert. Any who have co-habited with multiple partners but never married are highly probables, and any who spend more than 10% of their daily conversation talking about finding a bloke are distinctly suspicious. Fortunately I'm happily married to one of the 7/10. I pity all blokes who are single at my age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I think it was on this thread some time back that TMT made a comment about 3/10 women being "best avoided". Since reading that, I've found it surprisingly easy to spot the nutjobs out there. Generally any single woman over the age of 30 who has never been married or long term cohabiting is an almost dead cert. Any who have co-habited with multiple partners but never married are highly probables, and any who spend more than 10% of their daily conversation talking about finding a bloke are distinctly suspicious. Fortunately I'm happily married to one of the 7/10. I pity all blokes who are single at my age. 4 out of 10 best avoided Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fully Detached Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 4 out of 10 best avoided *Checks wife Yep, still safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I reckon your best bet, if you're not too old, is just to find a decent girl that just left school and didn't go to university. If they're a graduate the chances are, if you're lucky, you'll just be another entry they think is worth having on their fictional adult UCAS form. The thing is that in the UK, since so many people go to university, I'd hazard a guess that a lot of girls that don't go to university at all are probably proper thick. i.e. Vicky Pollard level chavs. Saying that, I do find myself agreeing with your point; a lot of the women that I have met from dating sites have been very career driven workaholics. Mainly academics; I went on one date with a 33 year old with a PhD who was now doing another masters on top of her PhD. She worked long hours but evidently that wasn't enough so decided to add a masters to the mix! I used to be impressed by reading that a woman was really well educated/career driven, until I started actually dating such women, and realised it's actually a turn off. I don't want a stepford wife, but I also don't want to have dinner with Gordon Gekko in a dress. This is not because I feel 'threatened' by super-educated/career driven women, but I've found them prone to be rather emotionally cold. So my point is- evaluate potential partners on how much love they have to give. Everything else is noise. Yep; that's the point I was trying to make, in a rather long winded way above! You said it far more concisely than me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I'm particularly looking for a "deluded old scrapper", but she must own a huge bell, as I am building a church in my shed! I would like to ring it on Sunday, as she polishes my old organ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahBell Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I'm particularly looking for a "deluded old scrapper", but she must own a huge bell, as I am building a church in my shed! I would like to ring it on Sunday, as she polishes my old organ! Perhaps the reason she got to be a deluded old scrapper is she spent too much time with bell ends? I am first to point at the nutjobs out there. Seriously the world is not limited to women nutters though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 The thing is that in the UK, since so many people go to university, I'd hazard a guess that a lot of girls that don't go to university at all are probably proper thick. i.e. Vicky Pollard level chavs. Saying that, I do find myself agreeing with your point; a lot of the women that I have met from dating sites have been very career driven workaholics. Mainly academics; I went on one date with a 33 year old with a PhD who was now doing another masters on top of her PhD. She worked long hours but evidently that wasn't enough so decided to add a masters to the mix! I used to be impressed by reading that a woman was really well educated/career driven, until I started actually dating such women, and realised it's actually a turn off. I don't want a stepford wife, but I also don't want to have dinner with Gordon Gekko in a dress. This is not because I feel 'threatened' by super-educated/career driven women, but I've found them prone to be rather emotionally cold. Yep; that's the point I was trying to make, in a rather long winded way above! You said it far more concisely than me! There are lots of women where their subconcious is telling them to find a partner - hence why they end up on dating sites - but their concious decisions - their careers and their endless list of hobbies - means that a man and a relationship are actually way down their list of priorities. They are undateable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dances with sheeple Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 It can be really hard to work who someone really is, even after seeing them for some months. I mean, I don't register myself as having 100% sanity, I've certainly got my quirks and foibles, but... I once dated a girl who seemed very calm, sensible, attractive, likeable....almost too good to be true. Without going into details and potentially identifying myself and her, she had built up a series of constructs to hold herself together psychologically and if you so much as stepped on the edge of one of them, it really wasn't pretty at all. It wasn't that she was violent, or I was fearful of what she would do to me, but she seriously gave me the chills...Because I felt like I had become the source of her self-esteem in a very short space of time. I've met plenty of unbalanced people, but I've never met someone quite like this. It's really hard to describe, but it scared the **** out of me and really messed with my mind because I was genuinely fearful of what effect breaking up with her would have. Like her whole world lay in my hands. ...Or maybe it's just me that's crazy.... can anyone else relate to this? Saw a movie about it once. As a man you need "tests" to weed these girls out, deliberately setting off some of her triggers very early is the best I think, while you still have control, then you can just end it and she can`t do much about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I rename this thread the codependency thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 I am first to point at the nutjobs out there. Seriously the world is not limited to women nutters though. No argument there. I think nearly everyone has some sort of mentalness in them. Its just a case of whether they manage to keep it under control or not. I personally think burds are generally far worse at doing that than blokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 No argument there. I think nearly everyone has some sort of mentalness in them. Its just a case of whether they manage to keep it under control or not. I personally think burds are generally far worse at doing that than blokes. Therefore they should be easier to spot than the blokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Therefore they should be easier to spot than the blokes? Suppose yes. But then most blokes - the ones i know anyway - start with the default setting of 'all burds are mental'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahBell Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Suppose yes. But then most blokes - the ones i know anyway - start with the default setting of 'all burds are mental'. Probably a wise move. I think it's fruitloop town round here at the moment. There's a real undercurrent of nastiness to some of them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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