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Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites


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HOLA441

I personally know of two marriages through Match and one through eHarmony, and I generally haven't even had a lot of friends involved in internet dating (well I had one mate who used Match as a way of dogging burds in the back of his Audi for a while :lol: ). So it does work, although if this POF is free that might be a negative. Surely you need to have a reasonable pay wall just to eliminate the first layer of retarded tIme-wasters and trolls?

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HOLA442

I agree. However, all hope is not lost for the beta male.

If it were the case that woman were attracted only to alpha males, then there would be no beta males as genetic selection would have wiped them out. So, there must be a way the beta male can succeed, and he does this through crafty manipulation, he picks up the remains where an alpha-male has caused devastation, or he out-wits the alpha male. That is the key.

Beta men who put on a false "hard guy" image are doomed to failure. Trust me I tried it.

However, I have found that good eye contact, verbal clarity and posture will greatly improve your chances.

The worst thing for beta males is the initial ice-breaker, or should I say the initial "pounce". This is where the verbal wit and confidence of the alpha male is extremely hard for a beta male to recreate, as he is unlikely to have the communicative skills and reaction time of the alpha male. Of course, this only applies to situations where you are meeting new people.

The "ice-breaker" is where I have major problems. Once I have broken the ice I have no problem whatsoever. I expect the same for most betas. Hence why they are likely to go out with someone they know, through a friend of a friend type-thing. That is where the beta's succeed IMO, and is perhaps why bar/club or even online is not a good place to attract someone if your a beta.

Well, this alpha/beta thing is surely not an absolute. It's always relative. I.e. in terms of pure caveman/cavewoman approach, the most superior males (from a female perspective) will be the ones with the highest chance of reproduction.

Go back to pre-civilisation and only around 40% of males actually reproduced. However, civilisation and the promotion of monogamy brought about better chances for the "average joe". I've seen no better article for explaining all this, and its effects on society as this:-

The Misandry Bubble

All hope is not lost for the average Joe. It's just that the odds are stacked against him and he risks landing up with a woman who has just "settled" for him. The trick is to find a woman who makes an effort, rather than makes demands. I.e. to make a relationship work, without thinking there's a better man out there for her. It's just a shame that the mainstream media culture doesn't promote this idea. Hence many women behave like hypergamous slappers into their 30s before having an "oh shit, I want kids" moment and realising that Mr Alpha doesn't want them anymore because they are past their prime.

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HOLA443
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HOLA444

I personally know of two marriages through Match and one through eHarmony, and I generally haven't even had a lot of friends involved in internet dating (well I had one mate who used Match as a way of dogging burds in the back of his Audi for a while :lol: ). So it does work, although if this POF is free that might be a negative. Surely you need to have a reasonable pay wall just to eliminate the first layer of retarded tIme-wasters and trolls?

A bit like the Main forum of this website!

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HOLA445

I can see the alpha male theories working for the women in society that are "free" for various periods in their lives but a lot of "good uns" effectively disappear off the scene completely in their late teens/early twenties and only reappear much later on in life (for example, on the death of a spouse).

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HOLA446

Earlier today I received my first "nasty" message:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50169561

And I would love to find an intelligent, open-minded, sexy guy that isn't prejudice against someone who tells a story through art on their body...guess I better keep looking though, right? ;)

All because I mentioned "no tattoos" in my profile.

Well at least it's a message. :lol:

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HOLA447

Earlier today I received my first "nasty" message:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50169561

All because I mentioned "no tattoos" in my profile.

Well at least it's a message. :lol:

Part of my profile on POF:

** Please a note **

Please don't message me if you're smothered in Tattoos or you are posing like some page 3 girl, I really won't be interested, I like a feminine women, not someone who wouldn't look out of place on a building site or Playboy :-)

I get some lovely replies ha! Still it does tend to keep them away :rolleyes:

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HOLA448

The "ice-breaker" is where I have major problems. Once I have broken the ice I have no problem whatsoever. I expect the same for most betas. Hence why they are likely to go out with someone they know, through a friend of a friend type-thing. That is where the beta's succeed IMO, and is perhaps why bar/club or even online is not a good place to attract someone if your a beta.

As a bit of anecdotal input, my boyfriend is primarily beta (a bit of alpha thrown in, in the right places, but all men will be like that to varying degrees). I'd imagine the ice-breaker is a potentialy excruciating experience. I met my boyfriend in a club, and have been inseparable since, and it went like this;

Him: What's your favourite monster?

Me: The Kraken (direct eye contact, direct answer)

It was funny, abstract, original and led to a whole load of tangent conversations. Even if I hadn't of been interested in him we still would have talked without him feeling awkward.

It was a ridiculous question when I look back, but it removes the need to say anything remotely pant filling and predictable like ..."Would you like a drink?" Girl: NO.

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HOLA449

Earlier today I received my first "nasty" message:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50169561

All because I mentioned "no tattoos" in my profile.

Well at least it's a message. :lol:

Ha ha sterotypical POF'er

There are so many women on that site which list "tattoos" as an interest.

I find it sad that so many woman lack a personality that they have to show their "identity" through silly assortments of coloured marks on their bodies.

That woman is a blatant narcissist judging by her photos. And beware any woman which dyes her hair in such an odd colour, especially at her age. It is a shame because in her natural state she would probably be quite attractive.

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HOLA4410

As a bit of anecdotal input, my boyfriend is primarily beta (a bit of alpha thrown in, in the right places, but all men will be like that to varying degrees). I'd imagine the ice-breaker is a potentialy excruciating experience. I met my boyfriend in a club, and have been inseparable since, and it went like this;

Him: What's your favourite monster?

Me: The Kraken (direct eye contact, direct answer)

It was funny, abstract, original and led to a whole load of tangent conversations. Even if I hadn't of been interested in him we still would have talked without him feeling awkward.

It was a ridiculous question when I look back, but it removes the need to say anything remotely pant filling and predictable like ..."Would you like a drink?" Girl: NO.

Yes you are right. The sterotypical chat up lines "can I buy you a drink" "whats your name" "do you come here often" are doomed to failure.

Although I do remember using "do you come here often" as a joke once before, and it worked! :lol:

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HOLA4411

Although I do remember using "do you come here often" as a joke once before, and it worked! :lol:

It's falls into the category of so bad, it's great.

On those lines I'd probably go for "So... what's your favourite colour then?"

If a woman takes that seriously, and thinks you're being serious, then she must be devoid of all humour and you should exit immediately.

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HOLA4412

Yes you are right. The sterotypical chat up lines "can I buy you a drink" "whats your name" "do you come here often" are doomed to failure.

Although I do remember using "do you come here often" as a joke once before, and it worked! :lol:

I remember going to a night club in Lille back in the 80's and not knowing very much French, said to this rather attractive French girl

"Ca Plane Pour Moi" she burst out laughing, but after a two year relationship and we're still very fond of each other all these years later, I'd say the random ones are the best :lol:

http://youtu.be/MsXknE8LOEI

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HOLA4413

I remember going to a night club in Lille back in the 80's and not knowing very much French, said to this rather attractive French girl

"Ca Plane Pour Moi" she burst out laughing, but after a two year relationship and we're still very fond of each other all these years later, I'd say the random ones are the best :lol:

http://youtu.be/MsXknE8LOEI

Just spent two minutes on google translate, but it was worth the laugh and I think that would work equally as well in English to English! (with the right audience).

Edit from previous post, "Do you come here often" gets extra comedy points if it's at work.

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HOLA4414

Let's be charitable for a second...this is the problem of modern life. True for men as much or more so than women. We come to believe that we ARE what we wear, listen to, earn, do for a living etc. Feeling rather unsure and empty, we try and define ourselves. The first thing people ask us when they meet us is 'what do you do', 'who's your favourite band' etc so the whole thing gets re-inforced. I used to be lost in it myself. When people said "tell me about yourself", I started telling them about my job or hobbies and I didn't even realise what I was doing.

It's hard, I think, to relax and truly be yourself. I think it's just as hard to really pay attention and see someone else for who they are, instead of instantly judgin and trying to put them in a box. Especially on POF, you don't get to see a personality, you just go off (and end up looking for) a bunch of attributes, like shopping in Argos you have no idea what you're really going to get until you get it. I think it's sad but funny, all these people trying to decide if they're a "cheese and wine tasting" person or a "snowboarding" person when really they spend most of their lives sat on their **** watching TV and surfing the internet.

As an experiment, I have made a conscious effort lately not to get involved in this kind of thing. Let go an be part of life, connect with people for who they are, not what they like. Spend less time trying to sell people an idea of what kind of person I am...know what I've found? Most people think I'm a bit boring or a bit weird :D

Hey, maybe they're right but I'm happier than I used to be :D

P

I totally agree.

The "what do you do?" thing is possibly the most judgemental attribute, which people will use to define you. No thoughts, no hesitation, if you do not fit the desired professional or managerial job criteria then you will instantly be cut off by people.

Personality, kindness, work ethic, hobbies, interests etc none of it seems to matter. All people seem to want is the big man with the big job and big muscles.

Sad world really.

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HOLA4415
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HOLA4416
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HOLA4417

That sounds a bit less interesting though. I am tempted to set up a profile saying, 'You could join me sitting on our ***** watching TV and surfing the Internet'.

Sounds like a plan if thats what someone likes doing.

It's not exciting but it's honest.

You then don't have to pretend to like going to clubs and drinking excess amounts of alcohol for months.

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HOLA4418

Sadly, most people define themselves by their job or define others by their job. Also, there are an awful lot of women who are very interested in the work a man does.

When I used to work in IT I had no shortage of women interested in myself as an IT contractor. I got bored so began to tell women that I had a cr*p job and, incredibly, such women would immediately lose interest in me. Funny that.

When asked nowadays what I do I reply that I do not define myself by my job - which gets completely blank reactions. So far, not one interesting response. I did get a very snooty London lawyer try to rubbish me before Christmas by saying that anyone who said that must have an awful job. To which I replied, "Not as awful as your personality".

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HOLA4420

Sadly, most people define themselves by their job or define others by their job. Also, there are an awful lot of women who are very interested in the work a man does.

When I used to work in IT I had no shortage of women interested in myself as an IT contractor. I got bored so began to tell women that I had a cr*p job and, incredibly, such women would immediately lose interest in me. Funny that.

When asked nowadays what I do I reply that I do not define myself by my job - which gets completely blank reactions. So far, not one interesting response. I did get a very snooty London lawyer try to rubbish me before Christmas by saying that anyone who said that must have an awful job. To which I replied, "Not as awful as your personality".

:o

Ouch. Try this.

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HOLA4422
Guest TheBlueCat

I remember going to a night club in Lille back in the 80's and not knowing very much French, said to this rather attractive French girl

"Ca Plane Pour Moi" she burst out laughing, but after a two year relationship and we're still very fond of each other all these years later, I'd say the random ones are the best :lol:

http://youtu.be/MsXknE8LOEI

Nice. Particularly funny that the guy is Belgian rather than French.

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HOLA4423
Guest TheBlueCat

I totally agree.

The "what do you do?" thing is possibly the most judgemental attribute, which people will use to define you. No thoughts, no hesitation, if you do not fit the desired professional or managerial job criteria then you will instantly be cut off by people.

Personality, kindness, work ethic, hobbies, interests etc none of it seems to matter. All people seem to want is the big man with the big job and big muscles.

Sad world really.

I think you're being a bit too cynical here. True enough that some people judge others by what they do rather than what they are but the reality of the modern word is that most of us are somewhat defined by our jobs because we spend so much of our time doing them. If you want to start a conversation with someone you don't know then asking them what they do is a relatively safe way of giving them a chance to talk about something they know something about. Far better than walking up to a stranger and asking them what they thought of the latest Werner Herzog film or whatever, surely?

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HOLA4425

^^^

Just been reading it again today, and couldn't resist...

Extract from the first chapter:

And the punchline, from the final chapter:

Much better than all that Heartiste malarkey I think, but not so easy to put in to practice. Incidentally, had a great coffee date with a young lady yesterday. Have known her for a while and wether or not it goes anywhere, think it's restoring my faith in the whole process. She asked me for my number, all I had to do was try really hard not to be a Jerk. We didn't make it to the barbecue yet, but here's hoping :D

 

P

Good luck Paul, just relax and think of HPC and all will be well!

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